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[In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.]
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On a Pifco hairdryer -- "Do not use while sleeping." (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Doritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (..I'm taking this because???.....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to....maybe even chuckle.
**** Blessed are the cracked: for it is they who let in the light ****
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On a Pifco hairdryer -- "Do not use while sleeping." (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Doritos -- "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's just a suggestion.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (..I'm taking this because???.....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to....maybe even chuckle.
**** Blessed are the cracked: for it is they who let in the light ****
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