Mother's Day

[julesapple]

My sister and I were discussing Mother's Day. We're both expected to do something for our Mum - we're fine with that. But equally, we are both expected to put a nice Mother's Day tea on the table for the very people who are supposed to be appreciating us as mothers. My sister was saying that her SinL has asked her to cook something special and make a cake for him to give to her DD as her DD is now a mum herself (are you still with me?)

Added to that, both of us are expected to buy cards & gifts for our MinLs - why can't their darling sons do it? I will also go to the cemetery and put flowers on my Nan's grave but I don't mind that, I wouldn't have her forgotten for all the world (pity her own sons don't think that way as they never visit the plot)

[Florence Fennel]

It's funny that - my DILs have never had anything to do with a present for me, my sons do it themselves and yet I have to sort out a gift for my MIL and Himself just pays for and delivers it. My daughter will send me a "special" card from herself and a general Mothering Sunday card from her and my SIL. Strange.

[Helgalush]

Yes I do as well MovernGirl, I lost my mum 12 years ago. I used to like making her feel loved and special on Mother's Day, even though in my teens we didn't see eye to eye a lot of the time - but she was my mum and I loved her to bits and still miss her very very much. I used to send a card to my grandma instead on the day as we became very close, but sadly she went 3 years ago so there is no maternal figure on my side of the family.

Though I do try to get my husband to pay attention and get something for his mum, usually with a lot of nudging to think of something thoughtful and not a last minute panic!!

But on the day I try to take my mind off it, as I'll just feel miserable if I dwell on it.

[Alison]

I think that there is somebody out there who could get upset by pretty much any event as it has a negative feeling for them so it is very difficult. Even the use of a particular song in an advert can send somebody into floods of tears as they make a connection that isn't there for everybody else. My mum will be on holiday this weekend but I'll make a fuss of her when she visits over Easter, we saw OH's mum last Saturday and gave her a present then which she seemed very pleased with but will invite her at Easter too so we can spoil them both a bit. I tend to ignore the hype round Mothers' Day as it's all commercial rubbish (see my posts re Valentine's Day), every advert you see says that that product is a perfect gift (naff CDs, perfume, anti aging cream!, you name it) which obviously not true for all mums. Neither me not OH have dad's any more and fathers' day just passes us by but that doesn't mean I don't miss mine after many years, nor that I don't miss my grandparents on their special days - one of my nan's was born on Valentine's Day so that always makes me think of her but that doesn't mean that it can't be special to other people. We all do things differently and whilst pausing to reflect in memories can be a lovely thing the way we remember people can be a physical thing like visiting a grave or simply smiling at something they once said. I have no connection with where any of my loved ones were buried / scattered and would never visit, they're not there, they're in our memories so with us as often as we want. Sorry to be a bit sentimental but a few comments in the thread made me think of this.