In shock :-(

[OverWyreGrower]

I have just found out today that a friend's husband was killed last week when in London (he was the man stabbed in the neck with a broken bottle at the Blackberry party in a London nightclub)
BBC reports the story

My heart is broken for her and the children; and since her mum told me today, I just can't get it out of my head. I cannot imagine how you go on after something like this; and where you begin to mend your life.

They were such a lovely, lovely couple - I have known her for about 5 years (through my old workplace), and I just don't know what to say/think/do.

It's not a question really, I just have to get it out somewhere....

[VirginVegGrower]

Hmm saw that, makes no sense. Pity the family left broken by such mindless behaviour.

[zazen999]

I don't think there is anything you can think/do - it's going to be la la land for her for a fair while.

What a terrible waste.

[di]

So, so horrid and sorry for you and his family. My Uncle died in a lorry accident nearly ten years ago. As per every day he'd given my Auntie a kiss Good Bye and so far as she knew, he'd be home for his dinner.

After the shock and pain, the thing I took from it is to never allow an argument/hard feelings to go on...make amends whilst you can.

[binley100]

What a stupid waste of a life ..........so sad

[OverWyreGrower]

He'd only been working for Blackberry for about a month, and had been invited to London (and the party) as part of his 'meet and greet' induction. Just rubbish.

[cardiffsteve]

Thats such sad news.
All you can do is be there if they need someone to talk to.

[Nicos]

Oh dear- no wonder you feel out of sorts. Makes you realise how fragile life is.
I'm so sorry xx

[taff]

I think we all think we're immune from random acts of violence, that we somehow control the world to prevent them happening to us and if we're 'good' they won't happen.

There's no sense to be made of it, and you will be in shock for a bit....time always helps....

[Feral007]

It is a shock when things like that happen to people you know. Makes it all so much more real. Ali

[piskieinboots]

The pain his family are feeling must be so hard to bear just now - truly awful for them.

I would say, whilst there isn't anything much you can do, I would contact her and let her know you are there for her if she needs you.

Sometimes all we need is a call, a hug, a chat - it won't remove her pain, but it's too 'easy' for us to stay away because we don't know what to do or say and they can end up feeling isolated.

Pick up the phone OWG or just pop around - yes, it will be unbearably painful but it will probably help you both - just a little bit.

((hugs))

[Patchninja]

Ditto Piskie. What a tragedy. She'll need all her friends.

[northepaul]

I would suggest, just showing her that you are there, if she needs a friend to talk to/cry on etc. Its amazing how much comfort just knowing you have friends, brings.

What a huge tragedy, my heart goes out to them.

[julesapple]

Piskie has it absolutely right.

When our little boy died, fifteen years ago now, we were up in Aberdeenshire, many miles away from our families. We had, or thought we had, some very close friends up there but when Toby died they never came near us. It left us feeling even more lonely (and confused) I know that it was because she had just found out that she was pregnant with her third child and felt that it would be hard for me to deal with the fact that she would have a baby and I would not.

And, cliched, although it sounds, time is what your friend needs too. It isn't the 'great healer' but you do realise that life has to go on and that you have to make it work for the sake of your children.

Offers to do normal things (that will seem impossible to your friend) such as grocery shopping, errands and even help with the endless paperwork might be appreciated. We found things like that very hard, it was hard seeing people laughing and smiling as if the world was still a nice place to be because they had no idea what had happened to us. And it's just as hard when people are aware because they stare at you - I imagine this will be particularly hard for your friend.

(((((HUGS))))) for you xxx

[Potstubsdustbins]

There is some wonderful advice above.

Please make contact with your friend she will appreciate it I am sure. Some years ago my friends lost their lovely 12 year old son in a motor accident. I told the lady that I knew 'sorry' was totally inadequate but I didn't know what else to say. But if I could do anything, anything at all just ask.

Some months later the same lady sort me out to say thankyou for just speaking to her. She explained that most people didn't know what to say, so most people said nothing which made matters so much worse.

Colin