Soccer Banter

[veggiechicken]

Yehhhhhhhhh!!!!

I'll teach you the offside rule one day...............

Were either of those comments directed at me please?

[Bigmallly]

Were either of those comments directed at me please?

Yes & Yes...........

[veggiechicken]

You'll be struggling with that 2nd one

[Bigmallly]

Offside rule explanation for Girls:.............



You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind
the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and
which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is
eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if
you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of
the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the
other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper
and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch
the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been
thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.


But if there is another friend casually leaning
against the counter are they interfering with the purchase?

[veggiechicken]

I thought I could follow that until the very last sentence. Then I lost track of what was a purchase and how could you interfere with it?
A simple explanation please

[Bigmallly]

As long as you don't step in front of the lady in front of you at the time the purse is launched you will be onside.You can then nip round her and buy the shoes..........if however you were to step in front of the lady in front of you "before" the purse is launched, you would then be offside.

[veggiechicken]

Got that bit but who is the mysterious other friend
"But if there is another friend casually leaning
against the counter are they interfering with the purchase?"

[Bigmallly]

Ah, erm well..............you have to be interfering with play to be offside. So if the other friend was in front of the other lady but was say walking towards you with no intentions of catching the purse then she would not be interferring with play.

[Jardiniere]

i have seen this explanation before and couldnt make head nor tail of it ..but this time it makes perfect sense - is it possible to send it to every ref and lino in the premier league please? Linos mainly - useless ****.

[veggiechicken]

Still trying to understand - and I've no idea why I need to know
Could the "friend" who interferes with the purchase be a friend of either the first or second lady in the queue? So a friend of the first lady could get in the way of the second lady and prevent her from catching the purse, or conversely, a friend of the second lady could stop the first lady reaching it.
And are there 2 off sides here?
One for getting in the way of the first lady before the purse has been thrown and second by the "friend" of either for getting in the way?

OR, I have I totally lost it and should go back to going round barefoot?

[ladylottie]

Yes! Got it! (I think). I understood it completely till the 2nd friend got in on the action. Are you saying that as long as she didn't try for the purse you would still be onside. But if you'd asked her to help you and get the purse would that be like aiding and abetting?
And if she was helping you would it be me offside or my 2nd friend?
Crikey, I didn't know it was so complicated - no wonder the players just seem to get stuck in and hope the ref isn't looking

[veggiechicken]

This could be the point at which BigM wishes he'd never started this thread

[Florence Fennel]

Middle Golden Girl managed to get a ticket for the Owls match tomorrow. I wonder if she found out that they're going for over a thousand pounds she'd sell it? Interesting.

[Bigmallly]

Middle Golden Girl managed to get a ticket for the Owls match tomorrow. I wonder if she found out that they're going for over a thousand pounds she'd sell it? Interesting.

Wow.........Sell,sell!!!.........

[Bigmallly]

This could be the point at which BigM wishes he'd never started this thread

It would be a lot easier if I swapped the bladdy purse for a football............and guys, I could do with a hand here cos I think I may have lost the plot, have never had to explain the offside rule before with or without purses........