Manners...............

[julesapple]

Simon, it would have made my day too.

I cannot abide being referred to as 'my dear' but 'love' or 'darling' doesn't bother me. I love it when a chap holds open a door or does something gallant or chivalrous. Not long back I dropped some of my groceries whilst packing the car and an old gentleman insisted on picking them up for me. Bless him, he could hardly bend, and I felt a bit guilty. I gave him a big smile and said 'Thank you, Sir' He looked like he really appreciated the manners.

Always found that flirting slightly with older men used to sell stuff at the craft fairs! I'm going to add here that I quite like flirting, but I wouldn't dream of it if I thought the chap would be offended. And I don't mean to be patronising at all.

[ladylottie]

If you helped an old chap, opened a door, gave him a hand with something or a cup of tea, how would you address him? Maybe its different man to man and you'd say Mate, or Butt. I couldn't say that. I think its just respect for an older generation, not a status thing. I actually rather like it when an old chap doffs his hat at me!
And what about an old lady? I certainly wouldn't call her madam, although I have been called that myself That's really mirth making!

Yes, I agree - It's all about respect, nothing to do with status. And I wouldn't say madam, but might say ma'am.

[Bigmallly]

The Doctors at work, I call Sir as a mark of respect, the elderly male patients I call "Young Man", they love it & most females I call flower.......I guess it's a Charlie Williams thing..........

[ladylottie]

Not at all. I don't believe anyone deserves any title...Liz Windsor included.

Anyhow, well done for helping the lad out and kudos to him for recognising the importance of good manners. All too often I find myself shouting a sarcastic "You're welcome!" to ignorant people. Manners cost nothing and are very easy to use.

Actually, I do believe that certain positions DO deserve a title. Before I retired I was a PA and when speaking to other people always referred to my boss as MR so & so and not by his first name. The only time I called him by his first name was if there was no-one else around. (Culture now seems to be first name terms, but we aren't "mates" - he had earned his top position).
And I certainly believe our royalty deserve their titles - would you want to have to live the lifestyles they have to lead? I for one wouldn't.
Remember when we all stood up (no matter where we were, even at home) when the national anthem was played? And when our teachers entered the room! Don't times change

But I'm pleased that the lad you helped out thanked you. Good manners cost nothing as Pa Snips pointed out.

[Peas'n'Kews]

Well done for helping out, it must have been quite satisfying to both help and be thanked politely.

I too don't use "Sir" or "madam". I HATE being called madam, or even Mrs or Ms (which I guess is what I am if I must be anything). Just my name is fine.

I also find myself sarcastically saying "You're welcome!" when someone is so important that they just expect.... Or is that they are in la-la land?? Either way..... Living without due care and attention - I'm sure you can be arrested!

[Bren In Pots]

You never know it might be only his teachers who take the time to show him things, so he added the sir without thinking.
Good on you for Simon I bet you made that lads day

[Kleftiwallah]

My beloved can tell when a female is getting right up my hooter, I refer to her as Madam! Cheers, Tony.

[Pa Snips]

Actually, I do believe that certain positions DO deserve a title.Before I retired I was a PA and when speaking to other people always referred to my boss as MR so & so and not by his first name. The only time I called him by his first name was if there was no-one else around. (Culture now seems to be first name terms, but we aren't "mates" - he had earned his top position).

I was referring more to titles that suggest he or she is more important than anyone else. I have more respect for the homeless guy whose life is far more taxing than that of an earl or baroness, or any other human being whose ridiculous (in my opinion) title that leads them to believe that they can look down their noses at everyone else. Mr Jenkins is fine, it tells me that Jenkins is an adult male, but Earl Quentin of Nonsenseshire?

And I certainly believe our royalty deserve their titles - would you want to have to live the lifestyles they have to lead? I for one wouldn't.

I most certainly would not want to live the lives that they live, nor do I want them to live those particular lives either, but they do and it's their cross to bear...doesn't make them better than anyone else.

Remember when we all stood up (no matter where we were, even at home) when the national anthem was played? And when our teachers entered the room! Don't times change

I don't recall ever standing up to listen to any tune that wasn't being played by a live rock band and when our teachers entered the room they were largely ignored, though it wasn't exactly what you'd call a posh school.

But I'm pleased that the lad you helped out thanked you. Good manners cost nothing as Pa Snips pointed out.

And easy to use... don't forget easy to use

[Glutton4...]

Aren't we a strange bunch!? I find it's not so much the 'name' as the person that is calling me it; When I was younger there was one particular person that always called me 'Dear' in a really condescending way. It used to make my blood boil. Other folk, like the elderly, calling me it, will not bother me at all. Weird innit!?

[simoncpg]

No he didnt, but he will.

[lottie dolly]

well done you both,we have to be so carefull these days with others children,and what makes my hackles rise up is being refered to as meeedarlin,grrr,am not senil,re kids,last week was in the next village when i heard a lady calling a little boy to stop ,next thing he was in front of me and ran into the busy road,without thinking i grabed his hood PDQ,and NANA just screamed his name,then said thank you to me,what a shock,a man just stood there,would sooner argue with the law than have a squashed child on me mind,

[julesapple]

Aren't we a strange bunch!? I find it's not so much the 'name' as the person that is calling me it; When I was younger there was one particular person that always called me 'Dear' in a really condescending way. It used to make my blood boil. Other folk, like the elderly, calling me it, will not bother me at all. Weird innit!?

Yeah, you've hit it square on there - a really skin-crawling man used to call me 'my dear' a few years back. It was unbelievably patronising the way he said it. Now when I hear it I just think of him.....yuck! It has to be 'my dear'...dear is fine, most of my elderly neighbours call me dear - lovely lovely people, all of them.

[OverWyreGrower]

A personal bugbear is that Mr OWG's dad refers to him as 'son'.... he never, ever uses his name, not even to his face.... I can probably count on one hand the number of times he has referred to him by his actual name... I think (given that he only has 2 children, and only one of them is male) it is the height of rudeness not to call your child by their actual name, ever....

[SarzWix]

I'm with Mikey and Pa Snips.

And I don't feel such huge surprise at finding a young 'un with manners either, but maybe that's because I'm in a fairly rural spot. Most people I find, young or old, are grateful when someone takes the time to help them out

[Patchninja]

I suppose I think about it all a bit differently living here. ALL men are Monsieur and ALL women are Madame regardless of where you come from or anything else. Very respectful of your fellow human being and darned useful when you don't know someone's name!