Manners...............

[Feral007]

Sprecken ze deutch, luvee?

[taff]

no, but maybe the duck

[mrswadders]

duck's quite common around here - i've grown up with it so am quite used to it. When I met my 1st husbands's family for the first time they called me 'love' found that a bit strange, took me a while to get used to that!

[Headfry]

At Lymington few years back. We were sitting on the sea wall near the ice cream kiosk enjoying the sun, watching the tide come in.
Along came a 'rough' family - young parents tattoos a plenty, drinking beer, not nice language, young mucky faced kids, pit bull type dogs - sadly spoiling the peace for all and taking up most of the pavement, not giving much of a stuff about anyone else - they were having fun so whats problem.
One of their kiddies, a little scruffy lad of about 7 or 8 came and sat near us. He looked at the water and said 'orried init' I looked and asked him what was, he pointed to all the rubbish in the water and said 'that, all that' 'Why do they mess it up'
Mr HF and I agreed with him and tried to explain about the rubbish. I pointed out the little shoals of young fish, at first he could not see them but once found he was so chuffed at seeing these little fishes. He shouted out to the rough not so nice parents and said that 'there were fish - real little fish 'ere!' they just told im to shur up, stop ly'in, 'an ged 'ere......my heart broke. I said to Mr HF lets just hope the little lad has a good teacher that sees this side of him and leads him well.
Good luck in life little caring lad, dont stop looking for little fishes!

So from such a rough crowd of 'oiks' came a glimmer of hope.

[veggiechicken]

A young German girl doing volunteer conservation work that also involved meeting a lot of visitors was appalled at being called "Love", as in "Thanks luv". She told me that in Germany you only used the Love word if you really meant it!

[alldigging]

I had a line manager once who called people 'chuckadoodle'.


The duck thing is definitely a midlands thing.

[Feral007]

Headfry, it's not just teachers, it's you and yours who are letting that lad see there's more to 'orrid life than you see on the surface.' I just love it when people take 5 mins to touch with other people and kids. You don't need to spend a lifetime helping others, just minute here and there so people who are struggling can see what's ahead.
As for love - only if you really mean it.....did you tell the young german volunteer than many young (german and other country) men will say it when they don't truly mean it at all Ali

[veggiechicken]

As for love - only if you really mean it.....did you tell the young german volunteer than many young (german and other country) men will say it when they don't truly mean it at all Ali

She'll find out for herself......

[Seahorse]

I grew up in Yorkshire and heard 'duck' as a term of endearment occasionally. It was a suprise to move to Lincolnshire and hear big butch lads on building sites using it as a general form of address to each other

[MyLifeWithAndrew]

Interesting thread.
As mentioned when I first arrived here, in the south (across the pond), we are "trained" to say sir and mam, though technically it is as important as saying "please pass the salt and pepper".
I now realize many will be offended when I say it, but perhaps the southern drawl will inform them I am not actually from here.
As far as what has made my own skin crawl, it is the constant "my love" I hear by those I don't technically know, much less have any interest in - I am like the german volunteer who thinks love should only be used if meant, yet I am elderly enough to know the word love is also used in vain.
Therefore, I guess it all evens out in the end - I (unknowingly) offend, they (unknowingly) offend and the world continues to spin, regardless.
In closing...."Ya'll take care now, ya hear"

[VirginVegGrower]

Went to visit a mate in Stoke-on-Trent once and we went to get some beers out of the offie, and the woman behind the counter thanked me with "ta duck". Most strange I thought, until I heard my mate say the same thing to a barmaid later that night. Never heard it elsewhere, maybe it's a Stoke thing.........

Duck is very common in the Midlands. Staffs, Leics and Derbyshire.

[VirginVegGrower]

I do regret that pupils no longer stand up when a teacher enters the room. I've heard the argument that teacher's should 'earn respect', but I believe it is more about the respect of the position of a teacher rather than who the teacher is. Once in the world of work, you have to show respect to your superiors to get on, so it is a lesson well learnt.

It has been reintroduced to my children's school. The head brought this back in two years ago. The sixth formers have to wear a suit, shirt and tie (boys), the girls a smart trouser suit or skirt suit. Blazers and ties for the younger years. Sir and Miss are required, as is a good morning to your form tutor.
It was funny though to hear my fifteen year old chap address a male teacher with a "good morning Sir" whilst in a cafe on the weekend. I spun round to see an ordinary family man in casual clothing smile at my son and proffer a wave (mouth was full of hamburger). No escape for teachers - hey?!

[Mikey]

My wife and I were shopping in a very popular supermarket the other day, and a young man was serving us behind the counter and chatting away to my wife as she used to teach him. As we left he said 'bye miss', which tickled me. Its hard to stop referring to someone by a title which you have always known them.

[Sanjo]

Actually, I do believe that certain positions DO deserve a title. Before I retired I was a PA and when speaking to other people always referred to my boss as MR so & so and not by his first name. The only time I called him by his first name was if there was no-one else around. (Culture now seems to be first name terms, but we aren't "mates" - he had earned his top position).
And I certainly believe our royalty deserve their titles - would you want to have to live the lifestyles they have to lead? I for one wouldn't.
Remember when we all stood up (no matter where we were, even at home) when the national anthem was played? And when our teachers entered the room! Don't times change

But I'm pleased that the lad you helped out thanked you. Good manners cost nothing as Pa Snips pointed out.

Snap! In my last two jobs before retirement I called both bosses Mr whatever. Boss One for around 12 years asked me to call him by his first name since everyone else did. I politely refused as I said that if I ever had an issue with the way he was dealing with things I wouldn't be able to forcefully put my view as an employee if we were on matey terms. He was a bit startled by the reasoning but accepted my view. Other managers didn't like it either as they were all pally pally. The second boss of 6 years standing never mentioned it. His wife did! The other staff did. I just said I was uncomfortable being on first name terms with my employer.
It really did wind one or two people up though and I have never been able to figure out why.
It just showed respect I thought.
I could NEVER call anyone sir or ma'am (with the exception of the Queen)
It would curdle my blood

[Peas'n'Kews]

A personal bugbear is that Mr OWG's dad refers to him as 'son'.... he never, ever uses his name, not even to his face.... I can probably count on one hand the number of times he has referred to him by his actual name... I think (given that he only has 2 children, and only one of them is male) it is the height of rudeness not to call your child by their actual name, ever....

Not sure what I think about your Father in law only using "son", but I am middle of 3 (1 sis and 1 bro) and my dad has a sister called "Bunty" so i get to be called "Lora, Paula, Bunty". Lora is my sister....

No Vince, it's said in Yorkshire too duck.

And in Northamptonshire...

And finally, I trained as a teacher in Glasgow. There I was called "Miss" but its pronounced "Muss", and that's what I always think of ..... (by the way, I never taught, as I was rubbish!!! Save the children, I say!)