Need to Let Off Steam....

[julesapple]

Yeah....easy on the ice...too much dilution isn't a good thing.

Can someone who's mentally confused play complicated PS games? He's also benefited the family with one of his political lectures in the last ten minutes - bores the arris off everyone but it is mentally astute.

I'm sure I'm the one that's confused.....

[Florence Fennel]

All will be revealed in the fullness of time Jules. Go with the Flo

[alldigging]

Yeah....easy on the ice...too much dilution isn't a good thing.

Can someone who's mentally confused play complicated PS games? He's also benefited the family with one of his political lectures in the last ten minutes - bores the arris off everyone but it is mentally astute.

I'm sure I'm the one that's confused.....

Is he playing them as much as he used to?

[julesapple]

Difficult to say, AD, as he bought a load of Sci Fi books by his favourite US author at the boot sale last week, so he's been reading a lot since then. He does seem to be able to focus solely on the PS or the books, or television - there's no obvious lack of concentration until he can't sit still because his back will be hurting him.

I would like to put this on the diabetes forum, and get some prospective from the first hand experts on there, but he reads that forum too and it would seem disloyal.

[Glutton4...]

((((HUGS)))) to you both from me. I'm absolutely no help with advice, but will be thinking of you, nonetheless. A problem shared, an' all that...

[Bigmallly]

Jules, ask him if he does not mind you posting on the Diabetes forum.......what's the worst he can say. If he loves you as much as you obviously love him then he may just agree to it.

[Helgalush]

Sorry to read what a tough time you are having Jules. Hope between you, your OH and the doctor that you can get to the bottom of what is going on and hopefully it is something that can be treated or managed.

One of my friends who was recently diagnosed with diabetes said that one of the symptoms she first noticed was that she was getting very irritable and her temper easily frayed, verbally lashing out at her nearest and dearest (not physically) and that shocked her as it was unlike her. So I don't know if your husband saying about sometimes feeling like he could lash out might be because his blood glucose levels were not well controlled, perhaps. Only a thought.

[julesapple]

Jules, ask him if he does not mind you posting on the Diabetes forum.......what's the worst he can say. If he loves you as much as you obviously love him then he may just agree to it.

BM, I'm going to suggest he does it himself. It would be nice for him to see the support he would get from complete strangers, many of whom have been there, done that and made it through the other side. For him to know that network is there, as I do with the fab peeps on here.

If he hasn't asked a question I'd like answered then I can add a question to the thread. He does need to be more pro-active about his own health - he's very good at the ostrich reaction which makes me feel like I'm doing all of the work. And asking strangers questions is often easier than doing it face to face.

This afternoon he's back to being his usual chilled self (it's fine, we've only got to wait two weeks....) but I'm a gibbering wreck still. And even I'm not usually this bad. I've already managed to slice my fingers open on the mandolin. Why is it that I can deal with everyone else calmly and rationally but not myself? Sooooo annoying.

[cardiffsteve]

I've already managed to slice my fingers open on the mandolin....

What tune were you playing?
Greensleeves?

Sorry just trying to cheer you up and calm you down.

[Jax]

Big hugs Jules, you definitely need it. It irritates me that tactless medical proffessionals make the partners feel like they are in the wrong when infact your bending over backwards to try and make things easier. I have had the same quizzing (and some!) and it sucks. Dont be hard on yourself and dont take it to heart and make sure you talk to your BH and ask him the questions that you have. I know its easy to say take no notice and not so easy to do. I also know how that questioning can make you feel and call into question everything your doing. Your an excellent loving wife, just know that sometimes intelligent people can be really thoughtless sometimes and yes they have to explore every avenue but need to learn abit of tact.

[julesapple]

What tune were you playing?
Greensleeves?

Sorry just trying to cheer you up and calm you down.

It was a Chinese medley (of vegetables)

[VirginVegGrower]

.....and I'm not sure this fits into the Minor Rant thread.

We went to the doctors this morning, a good long double appointment. Earlier this week the DSN told the BH that she didn't think he was a diabetic, but we have confirmed with the GP that he is - relief at getting that clarified.

So, the next thing was his memory problems. This could be caused by many things, and the GP has ordered every blood test under the sun to get to the bottom of it, including the thyroid tests that I had to fight for seven years to get (so my annoyance is simmering at that...just like that for him, but I had to really struggle) And then she asks him how he's feeling mentally; is he depressed, how does he feel about his life, why did he write about feelings of hopelessness on the diabetic survey he did with the DSN? (what survey? he didn't tell me about that) Why did he say he wasn't happy at home? (why hasn't he told me, his wife of nearly 30 years?) Has he thought about harming himself or others? Yes, he admits to wanting to lash out at me occasionally but only because I'm nearest (I have no idea at all how to react to that, I'm still stunned and feeling like I want to stay away from him)

Next the nurse takes him to a quiet room to do something called a Mini Mental test - presumably for signs of Alzheimer's or similar, and whilst they're gone the doctor talks to me; Have I noticed he's depressed? Yes, on occasion, but we both get like that from time to time - we aren't smiley all the time. Has he ever hit me? No, he knows I'd retaliate if he did, wise move or not. Does he shout? No, never, he goes very quiet.

Then the GP starts asking me if I goad him, if I do things on purpose to upset him - no, neither of us are confrontational, I would never upset anybody on purpose, let alone my nearest and dearest. Do I nag him to do jobs or to do other things? No, I do almost everything for him although I try to encourage him to be active.

Why have I not noticed he's depressed? Because he's never shown any signs of being depressed, if I ask him if he's ok he'll say yes. But you must notice, you suffer depression yourself? Yes, I do, and he could hide it from me as well as I do from him. If he thought I was depressed, he would be too and that's no good.

So, he shoulders all of the financial burdens, bill paying, managing money etc? WHAT? No, he doesn't, he can't even remember his own ATM number let alone remember to pay bills, I do all of that. He can't even go shopping by himself because he forgets what we need and he's frightened he will fall and hurt himself, not being too steady on his feet. Not wanting to appear useless, it seems he has told the diabetic nurse that he's responsible for the financial side of things.

The mini mental test thingy shows memory deficiencies but not signs of early dementia, thankfully. But the GP wants us back in there in a fortnight after the bloods on Monday.

I've come out of there feeling like I've been run over, but the BH is his 'usual' self. I wonder why he didn't tell me anything and I feel like I'm looking at a stranger I don't know. I hope and pray that all of these symptoms (depression, tiredness, no libido, memory problems, etc.) are all down to something that can be fixed, like the B12 deficiency the nurse mentioned, or a low testosterone level, and not something mental or something physical that cannot be fixed.

I also feel that I am to blame in some way, for not noticing or preventing the cause. It did seem like the GP was pointing the finger at me, silly though that may sound.

ok, rant over, going for tissues. Thanks for listening.

Jules

Hate to bring it up but are they testing for Parkinson's? Does he move jerkily in his sleep at night? There is a wrist test with that, not sure how they do it though. Does he shake hand or feet wise?
Thinking of you - dealing with dementia/Alzheimer's type illness is not easy.
Is he on Statins?

[julesapple]

VVG,

It's not Parkinson's....my brother in law has that. BH has no jerky movements at all. And no, he's not on Statins. He was but they caused him excruciating muscle pains and ED. We looked into exactly how much help they would give him (none, he has no history of heart disease, CVD, either in himself or his family) and he decided that the constant side effects were not worth the 1 or 2% chance of them helping to avoid CVD or heart attacks. So Statins went out the window with our blessings.

He seems to be absolutely fine, creased up laughing at Jeff Dunham on the tv, and I am depressed to hell. We seem to have this all backwards.

[VirginVegGrower]

VVG,

It's not Parkinson's....my brother in law has that. BH has no jerky movements at all. And no, he's not on Statins. He was but they caused him excruciating muscle pains and ED. We looked into exactly how much help they would give him (none, he has no history of heart disease, CVD, either in himself or his family) and he decided that the constant side effects were not worth the 1 or 2% chance of them helping to avoid CVD or heart attacks. So Statins went out the window with our blessings.

He seems to be absolutely fine, creased up laughing at Jeff Dunham on the tv, and I am depressed to hell. We seem to have this all backwards.

Good, maybe it is a case of clinical depression and a simple course of an antidepressant is all he needs. Statins are in some circles being linked to Parkinson's and dementia/Alzheimer's conditions. I'm not sure how true that is, but they can certainly cause mental fogging in some folks.
As you know thyroid can do all of this and more. You have my sympathy.

[Creemteez]

My dear Jules, I am no expert, but, my love, I think your feelings of depression are at least partly the result of the shock you have received. Hearing that the person you thought you knew the best has been thinking the way he says he has must be absolutely horrid and I know if it were me, I'd be chewing on the situation like a dog with a bone!
As to your query about people who are mentally confused being able to play complicated games - yes, it is perfectly possible.
My own dear dad suffered from Vascular Dementia. Would repeat things or ask the same question within minutes of receiving an answer. Would put key/wallet/specs down seconds later not have the foggiest idea where they were -BUT he was a whizz at Suduko, an avid participant in TV quizzes and played a very structured and considered game of pool. He would play pool on a Tuesday evening and be able to give us a blow by blow account of the the ENTIRE match on Friday during the car ride to do the weekly shop.
I'm so sorry you are going through this and hope you have at least one "three-dimentional" friend you can lean on at this time - but have a big virtual hug from me as well. xxx