Making the best of a bad day!

[binley100]

My mum went into the chapel with Aria by Acker bilk , then during had Elvis -always on my mind and to finish Elvis - the wonder of you ..... . Eldest read some adapted lyrics from a Bill Haley song ....She loved rock and roll .

[Feral007]

Oh dear I snorted when I read about the head caught in the electric window! Too funny!

I definately don't want expensive. And my step mother was feeling a bit upset when my father was going to be buried near my mother. She said 'I'm going to be cremated and put in a brick wall (memorial one, not a house one), and no one will have to worry about visiting me.' I know she feels left out of this.
So I told her I'm going to be cremated and thrown out over the fire trail on the mountain behind our farm, so no one will be able to get away from visiting me! All the burial stuff seems to bring so much grief to the families - not about the person dying, but about how the funeral will go.
I just need to make a list of the most likely songs. And I've decided after reading all this that I want anyone who wants to come to the Flinging of the Ashes to have Bad Hair. Noone who is totally tidy will be allowed.

Oh just need to add: No idea on the legalities of Flinging of the Ashes on the mountain, so I'll tell the kids to say they were talking me ashes for a walk, and tripped because they couldn't see thru the tears. Terrible accident but whose going to be able to put the ashes back?

[chris]

Here's an idea...

instead of flowers, what about ornate veg/fruit?

Wipe your eyes, and have a munch, on me !

[chris]

Flippin Hek cardboard coffins expensive. Theres a place down just down the road from me (Government Buildings, Chalfont Drive) for the locals, that was a massive underground nuclear shelter. In the buildings above ground were the stores for the aftermath of a bomb being dropped including thousands of flat pack cardboard coffins.

Might have to pop down and see if there are a few hundred still left. Well you got to make a shilling or two.

Colin

Funerals as a whole are expensive IMHO.

My father sorted out himself, my grandmothers/father funerals after we lost my mother some years back - I've been thinking of doing the same thing too, sorting everything out, paying for it all so when the time comes it's literally take whatever is useful from me, stitch me back up, stick me in the coffin, have a bash ! Then there's no worry about that sort of thing for family. Bit morbid though, been thinking the best way to start the convo off with my wife.

"So, you know when you die? Well I don't really want to be faffing about sorting your funeral out - can we get yours and mine sorted now?"

Hopefully the funeral place doesn't go under? There's a joke in there somewhere, but probably not appropriate

[chris]

When my dad died it was a bit of a problem choosing which flowers He liked growing veggies but was no gardener. The undertaker didn't laugh when I said he would have been happy with a sack of spuds on the coffin. Cheered me mam up tho.

d'oh didn't read that before I replied !

[veggiechicken]

My 92 year old Mum has been making plans for her funeral - but she won't tell my brother about it - because of his wife. His wife loves a good funeral, the more miserable and blacker it is , the better, in her book. And my bro wouldn't argue - anything for a quiet life. So Mum wants to avoid any arguments between us when the time comes by telling us what to do!! Mum wants a fun funeral and for no-one to be sad about it and we have a good laugh picking music together - not that she'll listen to me - independent so and so that she is!!
In our local suburb shopping centre (Whitchurch) one of the local undertakers has taken over a retail shop - squashed between a butchers and a £shop. Can you imagine, doing a bit of window shopping - Ooh that coffin looks nice, think I'll pop in and buy one. Wonder if they do BOGOF?

[Bigmallly]

I think it's a brilliant idea to have a shop. After all it's one of the few things in life that's guaranteed.

[veggiechicken]

But you only buy it once - its not like bread or newspapers

[Bigmallly]

But you only buy it once - its not like bread or newspapers

I think once would be enough for anyone.........

[Bigmallly]

Was talking to another collegue this morning who attended the internment............The jazz quartet carried on playing while he was being lowered into the ground.

[Bigmallly]

We have wedding planners who charge a fortune to arrange your special day (debatable).........why not have a company that arranges your leaving do to your own specifications, you'd never be out of work.........

[veggiechicken]

I think once would be enough for anyone.........

I sometimes think it would be good to have a rehearsal! See who comes along and what sort of obituary you have (if any) and to hear what people say about you. And imagine the fun of jumping out of the box and pulling faces at them! There might be a few more funerals as a result

[veggiechicken]

We have wedding planners who charge a fortune to arrange your special day (debatable).........why not have a company that arranges your leaving do to your own specifications, you'd never be out of work.........

They're there already! You can pay for everything now, choose your music and readings, or whatever you want, and leave the rest in their hands. BUT what if the company goes out of business meanwhile.
You can't really chase them up.........

[Snadger]

I think once would be enough for anyone.........

Like the Irishman who came out of the dentist after having all his teeth removed "Never again" sez he! (Dodges shalaylee)

[Bigmallly]

See who comes along and what sort of obituary you have (if any) and to hear what people say about you.

Or even better, a recording of you telling a few home truths to the congregation..........