Thank You cards

[CaroltheCarrot]

As a wee follow on from the chat thread, I thought I would see what other peapoles think (its raining Im bored)
A couple of weeks ago I recieved a wee thank you note from a friend of ours little boy which I thought was lovely.
I saw it last night and smiled again and then I thought, We have been to 3 weddings this year and havent recieved a single Thank You card for the gifts (cold hard cash so wasnt just because the gifts were kak)
Weddings are an expensive to do for guests as well, what with outfits,accomodation and gifts etc so I just think this is plain rude
I admit I dont make my boys send thank you cards for gifts but I do make them phone and say Thanks(rather than a text or an email)

What do you think ,or should I just "chillax" about it ( not that I can do anything about it anyway)

[Pumpkin Becki]

It's funny, I was having the same conversation with Dexterdoglancashire (Bernie) last night.

She gave one of my personalised heart wreaths as a wedding gift in mid-June, and hasn't received a thank you. That's pretty darn rude in my book.

I sent thank yous for all our wedding gifts, big or small. I've always written thank you letters for Birthday and Christmas pressies.

My nephew (15) has only sent 2 thank yous to me in his life and he NEVER calls me Auntie Becki.

Call me old fashioned if you like, but common courtesey costs nothing!

[Feral007]

I'm sorry to admit we are totally slack here. I usually fb, email, or at the very extreme end, phone in a thank you.

I don't know why it seems to be so hard to send a thank you these days, but it does seem to have become much harder.

[Glutton4...]

I think it could be one of those things that (certainly in my case ), we were forced to do by our Parents, when little, and didn't enjoy doing. So, now we're older, we just don't do it. Maybe?

[Jeanied]

We were always told that a gift wasn't ours until we had said thank you. I first learned to write by joining the dots on a thank you letter when I was very small.

[bearded bloke]

Herself likes sending card & letters (she has thank you cards for all sorts of occasions),me being a lazy git I just pick up the phone.
With regard to receiving thank you's,I have found that generally speaking friends children are more likely to make the effort than relatives children

[SimonSez]

I am a firm believer in thank you cards.

It took us a long time but after our wedding last year we wrote Thank You cards to everyone who came to the wedding.

Not only do weddings cost a lot for the guests but they often have to take time off work so surely the polite thing to do is to thank them?

It takes five minutes to make a card and send it off. Anyone can do it with the TV in the background.

Funny saying this as im 24 but maybe im old fashioned, people these days seem to value their own time over manners which does not sit right with me.

[julesapple]

I think 'thank yous' are important. As children we were always made to do ours, longhand, the day after any special event or receiving any kind of gift in the post etc. I did the same when my children were all small and they complained to me the way I moaned at my mum. Now they don't need to be nagged and sent thank you emails very promptly.

I envy them their fast, instant methods - no sitting down with fountain pen and Basildon Bond for them! So, having said that, it irks me that my nieces never do the same - not for their gifts or anything sent for my great niece who is too young to do it herself. It really upsets my mother who spends a lot of money on them throughout the year. My SinL is always complaining that she doesn't receive 'proper' thank you letters through the post....but I have never known her to say thank you, even verbally, for anything, in thirty five years - not really setting an example to the youngsters there!

[janeyo]

I am just printing off thank you notes for my 5 yr old to sign and give to his school friends as it was his birthday last week!

I had to do thank you cards when I was little. My children do them at birthdays and C****mas.

I did them for wedding gifts last year, on a card with a picture of the day. But I don't do them for grown-up birthdays, I send texts or say it in person.

[SimonSez]

I think at very least a phone call is nice as my grandmother tells my she prefers to hear my voice then read my handwriting....that point may be more about my writing skills though!

[lottie dolly]

todays world is very different from yesteryear,POSTAGE is more expensive,on the other hand,like us,a lot of peeps have comunications like virgin,and cost nothing to pick up the phone on certain no's,that is once your monthly bill has gone through,STILL some peeps just cannot spend the time to say hello,never mind about a thankyou,it takes longer to write a letter,than a personal phone call,also saves on paper in the bin at a later date,is better as is meant,not just a oh i got to do protacol,cost nothing,thus saving your pennies,and makes peeps happy to have that personal contact,wish 24th dec,ref cards peeps would do the same,i get berated by some for NOT sending a card,what do others think,

[Alison]

It depends on the person. Some people prefer hand written, some a phone call etc etc but what really annoys me is when you don't even know if people have got your present at all, especially when you have spend hours chosing / making something special. OH's nieces have never responded to the things we've sent them every year and when I was them once at New Year I made the point of asking if they liked their present. One of them ignored me and the other one said she didn't know what I'd given her. Can't really blame the kids though as the parents need to set an example and I see nothing wrong with being forced to write letters. Apparently my brother refused on Christmas and so my mum said she would do them for him and as his face lit up she pointed out that this would also mean that she would tell people not to send in future as he was ungrateful. Guess who wrote all this thank yous in double quick time . Not all kids are bad these days so it's probably no worse than it was in the past, have had some lovely letters / calls / messages from other kids including one from a Christening with the thumb print of the baby as a signature although am guessing he didn't have much choice in that!

[quark1]

Well here's how I was brought up to respond.

If you are in direct contact with the pressie giver - ie you open and thank them there and then in person then fine - sometimes a phone call to express 'extra' thanks'

If you received the gift by post or it was to be opened later then written or phone call to thank and confirm gift has been received is the thing to do - even if some diplomacy necessary for the duds!

Sorry, in my book it is bad manners not to appreciate what someone has done for you and also let them know - however small their gift - if you don't then, those who regale you with gifts may think their cash is better directed elsewhere.

Some old fashioned things ARE worth upholding and a thankyou will always win you friends.

[snohare]

It has been my sad observation that gratitude when demanded leads to resentment, whereas a gift given with no expectations may (or may not, like a seed) bear fruit in time. True gratitude depends on the depth and breadth of the rest of the relationship, and how intimately you communicate on a regular basis, in the same way that getting a cutting to take depends on context; gifts merely help the well of goodwill overflow. That seems to be a law of human nature.
If I get a verbal thank you, that is enough for me; that is the least courtesy I would expect. Personally, I remember favours for a long long time, and when I thank verbally I usually make a mental note to thank again when using the gift at a later date, e.g. saying how warm the fleece is. I always think praise is much more sincere when delayed until true appreciation is possible.
I remember being badgered to write letters to my aunts, gran etc, when younger, and it never came naturally to me (even at the age of 48 I find composing a letter is like climbing Everest sometimes, as opposed to the Q&A format of forums) - so I don't expect it of anyone else. As far as my nephews and niece are concerned, their literacy skills are so rudimentary, and writing anything formal is so foreign to them, that I wouldn't expect it. I'd rather have an off-the-cuff, "Ta for the bike" months late, than a prompted note before it is used.
But I do think a wee video clip of "Thank you Granny/Auntie/Uncle/whatever" is entirely possible with modern technology, and just as heartwarming as a traditional note. 'T'ain't rocket science !

[Andromeda]

Thank you cards or letters, hand written, are the norm in my family and from an early age we were taught to write with a fountain pen as using a biro was and is considered to be rude (my Mother and her siblings had a very strict upbringing and as a result have very high standards).