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Once upon a Grape - DIY Fiction

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  • #31
    .... alongside an apple with a big bite mark..........

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    • #32
      and a couple of SLUGS making their way towards it,
      sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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      • #33
        Harry gave the apple a half-hearted kick as he gazed thoughtfully around the allotments. He could see Billy Witch-Hat pottering on his plot, and noticed brightly that there was steam rising from the kettle on Billy's camping stove, so he wandered over for a chat, a brew, and a biscuit.
        "Heard any good gossip Billy?" he asked, settling onto an upturned milk crate and sipping the proffered mug of coffee gratefully.
        Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
        Endless wonder.

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        • #34
          "Well, I have heard there is a new slug pellet coming out soon!" said Billy, running his grimy fingers through his hair before passing a crumby digestive biscuit to Harry. ""That's not what I meant" muttered Harry " what about, you know, that one, Plot 8.........

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          • #35
            "Oh that one" said Billy, brushing off his hat and cramming it firmly back on his head, "I don't go near, on account of it not being organic, see".
            He munched a digestive then added, "And having a reputation for bad luck. They should never have cut down that old rowan tree...."
            Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
            Endless wonder.

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            • #36
              ....been here as long as I can remember, long before this land were allotments. The old folk say that this land were sacred in some way and that anyone who..............

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              • #37
                messes with sacred ground will be wishing that it was only the norty step that they be facing.

                Just then a fierce wind sprung up, whirling debris netting and leaves into a whirly. Billy and Harry could hardly see...............and they could hardly believe what they could see..........
                Ali

                My blog: feral007.com/countrylife/

                Some days it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints!

                One bit of old folklore wisdom says to plant tomatoes when the soil is warm enough to sit on with bare buttocks. In surburban areas, use the back of your wrist. Jackie French

                Member of the Eastern Branch of the Darn Under Nutter's Club

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                • #38
                  Harry paused with a digestive halfway to his mouth. The dunked half dropped with a gentle plop back into his coffee. "Bless my soul" he said, "I've never seen the vicar do that before!"
                  Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
                  Endless wonder.

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                  • #39
                    The Vicar's dipped his hand in the water trough and he's sprinkling the water on his..........

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                    • #40
                      ...pumpkin. "He's certainly got a big one" said Billy. "I saw her from number 42 admiring it yesterday, her OH hasn't got one as big as that".

                      "He feeds it seaweed", said Harry, lowering his voice so Billy had to lean close to hear, "And I've heard...."
                      Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
                      Endless wonder.

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                      • #41
                        he might be entering into a competition with it
                        sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                        • #42
                          ........that he keeps a bucket in his shed......" tapping the side of his nose, and dislodging a big dewdrop.
                          "A bucket?". said Billy, "There's posh, most of us........

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                          • #43
                            Follow 2Sheds advice and pee in the bucket trust the vicar to do things differently.

                            Just then Billy noticed something out of place over Harry's shoulder...............
                            Potty by name Potty by nature.

                            By appointment of VeggieChicken Member of the Nutters club.


                            We hang petty thieves and appoint great ones to public office.

                            Aesop 620BC-560BC

                            sigpic

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                            • #44
                              ... beyond the dandruff Billy was sure that the Daleks on Plot 25 had moved to Plot 26 and were grouped together as if..............

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                              • #45
                                they were going to take part in some sort of mass compost uprising.
                                "oh chuffin' ell" muttered Billy "it looks like the worm's are about to turn"
                                S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                                a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                                You can't beat a bit of garden porn

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