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Once upon a Grape - DIY Fiction

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  • #76
    ...discussing the pros and cons of DDT
    "Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple

    Location....Normandy France

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    • #77
      .... which, to Agnes stood for Disturbingly Deficient Teeth but Tom had other ideas...........

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      • #78
        JUst then the end of sunday service church bells rang out, the sun glinting warmly off the vicar's punkin plant........which was steaming in it's liquid manure way.
        And through the side gate directly from church came the vicar with the lady's auxillary...........will he take the Lord's name in vain when he see's the carnage on the lottie? Or will he lose the plot entirely?
        Ali

        My blog: feral007.com/countrylife/

        Some days it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints!

        One bit of old folklore wisdom says to plant tomatoes when the soil is warm enough to sit on with bare buttocks. In surburban areas, use the back of your wrist. Jackie French

        Member of the Eastern Branch of the Darn Under Nutter's Club

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        • #79
          "Jerry! Retrieve this poor lady's teeth" commanded the posh lady, as her husband returned. Fred, Billy and Harry sniggered - the pond was deeper than it looked.
          Mrs Posh Lady graced the vicar with a brilliant smile. "Ah, Vicar,", she gushed, "Do come over to our chalet and...."
          Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
          Endless wonder.

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          • #80
            ............partake in a glass of our parsnip wine,
            sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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            • #81
              "Paaaaaaarsnip Wine, you say? Wow, anyone would think it was Chriiiiiiistmaaaaaaaas!!!!!" Said...
              All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
              Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.

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              • #82
                ....agnes,may i join you,the vicar said,but that 5 months away,now you will not all forget to attend my ......................
                sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                • #83
                  "....Halloween party, I want to see all your pumpkins there". "What you want and what you'll get is two different things" mumbled Agnes, picking duckweed out of her false teeth and slapping them back in. Jerry raised a full net once more out of the pond. "I say, everyone, I think this is a ....."
                  Location - Leicestershire - Chisit-land
                  Endless wonder.

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                  • #84
                    ...someones lost soul,snort snort,looks like a size 9's fna fna,what you think fellows....
                    sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                    • #85
                      Lets look at the evidence..........a rather empty bottle of gin and that can only mean one thing boys and girls . Someones been bathing in the pond ..
                      S*d the housework I have a lottie to dig
                      a batch of jam is always an act of creation ..Christine Ferber

                      You can't beat a bit of garden porn

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                      • #86
                        oh,said harry,that was me a while ago,wondered what happened to my other boot,the gin bottle was not me,but agnes on a binge thats how i fell in she ................
                        sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                        • #87
                          .... was doing cartwheels across the plot and slammed into my back, next thing I was flat on my face in the pond with a mouthful of frogspawn. Billy laughed so much that ...........

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                          • #88
                            Billy laughed so much that.............the apples all fell off the trees.....Oh Bollock's, said Agnes; Chuffing 'ell said Harry and Billy together............Oh my Lord said the Vicar............JERRRY, screamed the posh lady. They all looked round at Jerry who was laid out flat on the ground behind them, looking just a little bit dead. Was he knocked for 6 by an apple?............or was something more sinister about? And where did those Auxilliary ladies who arrived with the vicar get to? OMG! They're drinking the elderflower champagne in the shed! They'll never make credible witness' now, no matter what they saw
                            Ali

                            My blog: feral007.com/countrylife/

                            Some days it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints!

                            One bit of old folklore wisdom says to plant tomatoes when the soil is warm enough to sit on with bare buttocks. In surburban areas, use the back of your wrist. Jackie French

                            Member of the Eastern Branch of the Darn Under Nutter's Club

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              " Stand back" spluttered Agnes (who was still having trouble with duckweed in her teeth)... "I'm a nurse, I'll give Jerry the kiss of life".
                              "Oh no you won't" said the Posh lady "don't you touch him. If he's a goner, so be it - I know what's in his Will, Vicar, say something appropriate" but the Vicar.........

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                              • #90
                                but the Vicar, for once in his life, was speechless; he'd just seen..............
                                Ali

                                My blog: feral007.com/countrylife/

                                Some days it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints!

                                One bit of old folklore wisdom says to plant tomatoes when the soil is warm enough to sit on with bare buttocks. In surburban areas, use the back of your wrist. Jackie French

                                Member of the Eastern Branch of the Darn Under Nutter's Club

                                Comment

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