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Once upon a Grape - DIY Fiction

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  • ..... they're....... they're.......for once the Vicar was lost for words. The crowd started to laugh and jeer at the poor Vicar who was doing his best to stuff the knickers up his cassock but......

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    • ...,whilst he was still fiddling trying to hid them a stray dog came up,the vicar bent down to give it a fuss,suddenly after a quick sniff of the knickers the dog grabed them and ran,in the distance a male figure could me seen and heard comeing towards them call the dog,it turned out to be mr.................................
      sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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      • “Bond” he said. “Mr James Bond”..... I hear there is a bit of a shin dig here today and I thought I might drop into the Mouldy Spud for a drink with a few of ye afterwards. “He’s certainly no Roger Moore” thought Peggy to herself, but then again who was these days.....
        “I have just bought the local manor”, he continued "and plan to...
        Last edited by Tripmeup; 24-07-2012, 04:00 PM.
        I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives....


        ...utterly nutterly
        sigpic

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        • ... turn into a Home for Fallen Women" ...casting his eyes around the allotment ladies as if hoping to........

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          • find his first .....

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            • ......conquest
              sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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              • ....and there were several ladies of uncertain age, fluttering their eyelashes and........

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                • wondering if their double D's would entice the man with the same name as 007..."Ladies, calm yourselves", he said,"I will get to each of you in turn and look forward to...
                  I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives....


                  ...utterly nutterly
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • Finding out if you are a Bond Girl or a Moneypenny. And since he loved them all for different reasons the lottie ladies were excited.
                    Many of them rushed off home to wax and shave, to moisturise and bronze, to do a few situps, and then have some chocolate to cheer themselves up after looking in the mirror.
                    Meanwhile the lottie menfolk were not so pleased. Bluddy cheek, coming here with his money and his tux, and thinking he can run off with our women!
                    Ali

                    My blog: feral007.com/countrylife/

                    Some days it's hardly worth chewing through the restraints!

                    One bit of old folklore wisdom says to plant tomatoes when the soil is warm enough to sit on with bare buttocks. In surburban areas, use the back of your wrist. Jackie French

                    Member of the Eastern Branch of the Darn Under Nutter's Club

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                    • ....they said, cracking open a beer and deciding to have a barbie ( as in BBQ- NOT Barbie doll!)
                      "Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple

                      Location....Normandy France

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                      • "We'll show him" Harry muttered, dribbling beer down his chin.
                        The others nodded enthusiastically, trying not to slop their beer......

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                        • down their clean shirts,they seem to have lost sight as to what growing your own is,said norris form no 50,after this,we had better get down the lottie and make a fresh a start,who knows how long we got this sun for,the girls will be well upset when they go back and see................
                          sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                          • .........they'll not be back for some hours", said Billy." Its going to take them a long time to look good enough for Mr Bond, so lets have another beer while we can".......

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                            • .............can can can came the sound from the girls,at this the lads,being lads, went back for a look at the girls performing,most of the beer got spilt out the glasses,as their jaws hit the floor at the sight that greeted them,
                              Last edited by lottie dolly; 25-07-2012, 07:07 PM.
                              sigpicAnother nutter ,wife,mother, nan and nanan,love my growing places,seed collection and sharing,also one of these

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                              • Beer, did someone say beer said AP licking the inside of his empty glass while ....

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