What To Do With Cold Callers

[Incy]

My autistic son answered what was clearly a cold caller yesterday. I had to chuckle when he very firmly told them to **** off and when they didn't go away told them again before hanging up on them. I did explain that it wasn't necessary to swear at them but he felt it was......

[Jeanied]

My favourite method of dealing with sales calls, if I have time, is to pretend I recognise their voice and they are playing a prank on me - 'I know it is you, Harry, I recognise your voice now stop messing around with me... how is your Mum now, has she got over her operation... and how are your piles doing?' and so on - till in the end the caller gives up.

[vikkib]

My favourite method of dealing with sales calls, if I have time, is to pretend I recognise their voice and they are playing a prank on me - 'I know it is you, Harry, I recognise your voice now stop messing around with me... how is your Mum now, has she got over her operation... and how are your piles doing?' and so on - till in the end the caller gives up.

I am totally doing this with the next one I get!

[alldigging]

anti-telemarketing EGBG counterscript

I have this printed out

[Glutton4...]

I'm obviously far too nasty a person! I just say 'No thanks' and hang up!

[snohare]

I just talk to them until they go away. I know they are economic bottom feeders, and a girl I once knew who did the job was the scariest, most mercenary female I have ever known, but nonetheless they are fellow humans trying to make a living, and with some of them I knew their first names - we both knew the score, they would phone me just to hear a friendly, cheerful voice and to chalk up another call on their quota for the day.
That taught me that true emotional poverty is receiving no good will.
Of course I rarely get the better class of cold caller, I'm just not in the right decile; apart from a couple of automated PPI calls every week, no-one rings me, probably because I have no credit history. Occasionally I used to get Barclay's Bank (supposedly) phoning a previous tenant to sell shares, but they've stopped phoning. Generally after I've told them all about my dodgy tummy, even dodgier benefits, and how my arthritis and asthma is triggered by my elderly labrador shedding her fur, they seem very sympathetic and totally understand that a man thinking of knitting a sweater from dogwool is basically penniless.
Hmm...In fact, I think I'd probably do well as a cold calling one-man charity. I could probably elicit donations from church mice...

[jacob marley]

my way of getting rid of them is when they want to do a survey and tell me that the call will be recorded for training purposes i ask for a copy of the recording at that the phone goes click mission accomplished jacob

[veggiechicken]

Had a call last week -
We're doing a survey in your area! (I'm not interested)
We will be selling Hygienic mattresses in your street (I'm not interested)
You're not interested in having a Hygienic mattress ... and so he went on and on until I was convinced he believed I was incontinent.
Its a known scam - selling shoddy mattresses door-to-door BTW

[Alison]

I work on the principal that it's just people trying to do what they can to make a living (and in this day and age that can be very difficult). It's a rubbish job and (whilst you'll probably accuse me of having no sense of hummour) I'd rather just say I'm not interested that waste my time playing tricks on them or, even worse, being rude. Yes, they are a bit annoying but you can reduce the number by registering with the telephone preference thingy and then it seems to make more sense to me to minimise my time speaking to people with which I have no interest.

[Two_Sheds]

you can reduce the number by registering with the telephone preference thingy

That's the point I'm making: we are registered, and we're still getting the calls.

I have said we're not interested.

I have been polite.

I'm never rude, I don't swear or shout at them. I don't ridicule their English (they're usually from India or the Phillippines, it appears.)

Still "they" phone me, up to 14 times a day, every day (in one case).

[northepaul]

What my OH does it say "Hang on a minute" and leave the phone...then go and hang it up about half and hour later....at least its costing them for the phone call!

[jacob marley]

I have just had a call from some body in the Punjab telling me that i have £ 2500.00 owing to me from a loan from 5 or 6 years ago so i said to him you have my address send me the money when i explained to him that i had not had a loan he cleared off without saying bye bye what a rude chap.
In case you are wondering why i talked to him unfortunately i am bed bound with wonky legs and it my only bit of fun winding them up,(ps i do not want loads of sympathy i have reached my sell by date and am waiting for the use by date).
So my bit of fun to while away the time and while i am keeping them busy they are leaving somebody else alone jacob

[veggiechicken]

Jacob, if you'd like to give me your number I'll have my calls redirected to you
I had a call yesterday that showed up on my phone as "Number withheld - private caller".
As soon as he spoke I realised it was nobody that I knew so I challenged him about being a private caller - he insisted that he was and he wanted to talk to me about my SkyBox (don't have one!). They are so devious - that's what I hate

[janeyo]

keep a whistle by the phone and blow it at them

[taff]

you can't, it's illegal.

besides, why bother when you can do this?
Prank Call - YouTube

makes me laugh every single time....