If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
I sometimes think my entire life is a catalogue of embarrassments. If you're after someone who can trip over it, fall into it or blurt out a load of nonsense in an inappropriate situation, I'm your gal!
My most recent triumphs have been a spectacular fall in which I and the other lady concerned did a fabulous triple salko and ended up with me cradling her in my arms, Torvill & Dean style and my meeting with my top best hero singer ever, where instead of saying how much his music has meant to me over the past 30 years, I blabbered on about the size of my boobs. I probably shouldn't be allowed out on my own.
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."
I used to work in a "care home" a few years ago.
We had there an old dear who used to ask embarrassing questions.
One morning she asked me "When did you last have sex"
Quick as a flash I said "Half past five this morning You're self"
She never asked me any more embarrassing questions.
Years ago I was on a date with a very handsome man, we were in a posh restaurant (a different restaurant to my last post lol) and this time I was trying hard to impress him. We were sitting at the table waiting for our food and I was enchanting him with my scintillating conversation (hahaha!) and feeling extremely nervous and awkward. I took a gulp of sherry and promptly choked on it spraying sherry everywhere! He had to get me a pile of serviettes to wipe my mouth and top...argh...cringe! It was awful!!!
I've just remembered that the other really mortifying thing about the aforementioned singer-boob incident was that I'd fallen downstairs a couple of days before and had a huge bruise on my @r$e, preventing me from sitting comfortably. I'm sure everyone thought I had terrible piles!
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."
Comment