How do you cope? Feeling Anxious......

[darcyvuqua]

As many of you may remember when I was making posts late at night moaning about how I could not sleep and how much pain I was in late late august/early september after surgery....

Well I'm off to hospital on friday to see if I need a follow up Op (major surgery)

I had a double Lateral release and I found that bad but Triple Athrodesis (triple fusion)
has been talked about and can honestly say I'm bricking it been laying in bed just thinking about it all week just typing this makes my hands shake......

I'm so worried as it will mean with rehab being in plaster/walking boot for a year.

I just want to feel normal but that will mean having surgery and I dont want to worry my wife telling her that I'm so worried about it! She will understand and will support me but I feel like I'm always asking to much of her shes done so much for me/us already!

So how do you all calm yourselves down!

P.S. sorry about the Rant/moan needed to get this off my chest its driving me bonkers

[veggiechicken]

Hope you don't need any more surgery darcy. I thought that was over and done with and you were back to gardening all the time now.
I'm sure your wife knows how worried you are without you having to tell her. Wives do, you know. And she's probably not saying anything because she doesn't want you to think she's worrying. So you're probably both skirting around the subject and pretending that life is just fine. Go and give her a cwtch, somethings don't need words, just togetherness and understanding. You know she's with you all the way - as you are for her.
I'll be thinking of you.

[bikergirl]

Hi

I'm new here so I don't know about your previous surgery - although it sounds like you've had a tough time.

My thoughts - a year is a year, what is the alternative? being in pain.... presumably there is a reason that you need the further surgery, which will have major benefits. If you struggled with the pain post surgery last time, make sure you talk to your doctors about that - there may be different pain relief that they can give you.

As for your wife - I know I'd worry more if I thought my other half was keeping things from me, so be honest. I'm sure if it was the other way round you'd support her no matter what.

And how do you calm yourself down.... for me its information about the situation I'm facing. I'm a reader and want to know as much as possible. That and distraction - find something that is really absorbing to keep your mind occupied for a while.

Hope you are managing to sleep and that you feel better after you've talked to the drs on Friday.

[darcyvuqua]

Thanks VC the surgery I had was a hold off for major surgery if it had worked it may have put major on hold for a number of years I am gardening but have to take pain killers. which I hate doing!!

I went up for a few hours yesterday and had intentions of going up today but woke up walking like a 90 year old man might be able to get up there tomorrow with a bit of luck even if its just to water the seedlings

My surgeon has been very truthful all the way with me and I'm sure friday will be no different!

[darcyvuqua]

Hi

I'm new here so I don't know about your previous surgery - although it sounds like you've had a tough time.

My thoughts - a year is a year, what is the alternative? being in pain.... presumably there is a reason that you need the further surgery, which will have major benefits. If you struggled with the pain post surgery last time, make sure you talk to your doctors about that - there may be different pain relief that they can give you.

As for your wife - I know I'd worry more if I thought my other half was keeping things from me, so be honest. I'm sure if it was the other way round you'd support her no matter what.

And how do you calm yourself down.... for me its information about the situation I'm facing. I'm a reader and want to know as much as possible. That and distraction - find something that is really absorbing to keep your mind occupied for a while.

Hope you are managing to sleep and that you feel better after you've talked to the drs on Friday.

Your just telling me what I already know but it always seems more knowledgable when someone else tells you

[veggiechicken]

You know more about this than any of us and whether you can put with the current situation or not. A year may seem like for ever, but its more than 6 months since you joined the Vine. Time does pass quite quickly really. If it cures your problems..........

[darcyvuqua]

I know that deep down VC and I know what benifits the surgery will give me but it aint half bloody scary!

Its not just the wife that will have to put up with me...........Oh you poor poor grapes

[darcyvuqua]

It does not help that I watched the proceedure on youtube grrrrrr why oh why did I do that!

[veggiechicken]

We're used to putting up with you now I'm sure we'll cope for a while longer!
Now hold out your hand and close your eyes...................
Caught it?.................
I've just blown you some sleepy dust, its my special mix - guaranteed to help you sleep
Nos da, Darcy, I'm off to gwely myself

[darcyvuqua]

Night VC 'n beraidd breuddwydion

[Darwin.]

Well when it comes to sleep I'm the last one to give advice, I suffer from two sleep disorders and another illness possibly caused by years on no sleep.

I used to calm myself by punching people (in the ring) its fantastic therapy but that's probably not a good idea for you or for me any more. I find listening to music to be a big help, there's always a song to suit what ever mood you're in. Reading a good book that you really get caught up in is a great form of escapism too. Another one that's no use to you at the minute but really clears my head is a walk around the lake or the park.

One thing on sleep, a very very cute nurse in a sleep clinic told me last year to keep a notebook by the bed and write down what ever is on your mind, that way you clear your head and can relax enough to sleep.

[Hazel at the Hill]

I've just blown you some sleepy dust, its my special mix - guaranteed to help you sleep
Nos da, Darcy, I'm off to gwely myself

For a start, talk it out with Mrs D!

And I'd be - like - I'm the ONLY PERSON in the entire UNIVERSE that is afflicted thus - but, actually, Mr Bones has done this thing like - uh - a million times, it's so normal it's booooooooring. To them, ok, but scarey pants to you as it's all a bit unknown.

I'd say more, but some strange lethargy has come over me.....something about settling down in a comfy gwely......not..sure.......yawn..................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......nos da........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................

[Linzy]

You need to occupy yourself with something. I sow when i get stressed or am worrying about something and my mind seems to just becomes focus on that.
My grandad just had to have a leg amputation due to diabetes and he said to me last week that he wished he had his procedure months ago as he finally has a life with no pain(he may only have one leg but he is gaining huge enjoment annoying my nanny with his personal alarm and electric wheelchair)
And im sure that if the procedure might help you then your wife would never find it hard to look after you in the shortterm

Good luck

[FROSTYFRECKLE]

Hope you caught some zzzzzzz's Darcy. Now then young man (yes, I am old enough to say that) time to open up and talk to Mrs Darcy. Trust me your wife will already know that you are fretful. Mr Frosty has had more brain surgery than I care to remember and I recognise the signs, your wife will too. Talk and share your fears.

[PyreneesPlot]

Is there a support group for folks have had the procedure done, either online or real so you could at least talk about your fears with people who possibly felt the same way?