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Dear man who likes to razz up our quiet residential street at great speed in your souped up car, you don't look big or clever, you're just convincing all of us that you must have an extremely tiny w*lly. Please stop it.
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home."
People who make arrangements for someone to collect stuff from MY house in the middle of the bloody afternoon, thus ruining my plans for spending the whole afternoon at the allotment.
I get ONE female pumpkin flower, it was pollonated then fell off when it got to golfball size. Tsk.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Allotment padlocks, I'm normally great with number sequences but do you think I can remember this one. I'm often shinnying over the gate at 6 am to go and do a bit of weeding, which isn't that pleasant when you get the dew settling around your inner thighs.
I had a sign on my plot, telling me to look after it. Basically, because I've let a patch of beets go to seed (to collect them). It's because I'm not part of the old boys club.
I had a sign on my plot, telling me to look after it. Basically, because I've let a patch of beets go to seed (to collect them). It's because I'm not part of the old boys club.
Put your own sign(s) up telling them what you're doing
My rant - it's hot and the stoopid dog keeps lying in the sunshine then wondering why she gets too hot and has to come indoors for a drink and a lie down on the kitchen tiles. Ten minutes later she's off outside again.
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