annoying neighbours in the garden, whats up with them!

[stubedo]

Hi, Just wondering what others experiences are with neighbors in the garden ?, I have this one neighbor who`s always asking me for "something" .....shes asked to borrow my tools , asked if the table in my garden belongs to anyone as wanted to have it, invited herself into my garden, & now I mention my potatoes are nearly ready , she starts telling me how costly they are & maybe if I have some left over I can give her some !!! theres not a war on & she is a right pain ! I shan`t be giving her any rations.... feel like I`m living next to hyacinth bucket

Stu .feeling annoyed !

[Bren In Pots]

Stu how about wearing headphones when you're out in the garden, even if they're not plugged into anything she won't know.

[Bill HH]

Firstly make sure it isnt really your body she is after.

As for stopping her you are spoilt for choice with this.

Warn her to keep well away due to your contagious disease (unspecified).
Give her produce that has clearly gone past its best.
Hire a doberman.
Keep a glass fish tank and warn her your cobra is missing,
or ask if she has seen your missing tarantula.
Ask her height and then start digging a grave in your patio.
Tell her never ever come into your garden when there is a full moon.
Ask if she would be interested in making up the 13th place in a coven.
Casualy ask if she has noticed all the cockroaches.
Ask if she hears blood curdling screams coming from your attic at night.
Tell her you sell your produce and would she like to place an order.
Tell her in confidence that you have heard that the council intend building a illegal immigrant compound nearby and property prices will crash.
Wherever she is standing in your garden ask her to move because "Your x wife" is buried there.
Keep constantly scratching.

If all that fails, sell up and move.

[Philthy]

Haha! Great list Bill. That last one is quality

Does sound like you're going to have to be a bit more upfront with your nosy neighbour Stu. A neighbour of mine was a regular borrower of tools, equipment etc. He'd never return them voluntarily; eventually I'd have to go round and ask for them back. I tried loaning him stuff with conditions attached, eg you can borrow a ladder but have it back to me each evening before it gets dark. Lasted a few days. Now I don't loan him anything and he knows not to ask me anymore. Its not worth the hassle. We're still civil though.

[esbo]

Just her your potatoes are much cheaper and better tasting than the supermarket ones

[vikkib]

I'd tell her you won't have any of these one's spare but you might have a few spare seed potatoes next year if she'd like to try growing her own! ; )

[alldigging]

Believe me they're not the worst qualities a neighbour could have.

[rhonsal]

Perhaps you could ask her to do some work for you and as payment for some produce/tool hire - i'm sure after an hour of digging she will think differently!

I have someone at work who is always asking me to bring her fruit/veg - i don't mind sharing surplus, but she's the type of person that never contributes to a collection or charity fundraiser! So i did share my last surplus, and gave her a bag of nettles - she's never asked again!

[hollychap]

when i first got my chucks 5 yrs ago it took a couple of weeks before i got an hiya i am baking and missing an egg any chance i could have one of yours (from neighbour) yes no probs was my reply as i shot of to the fridge to find the last egg i bought with a use by date stamped on it (3 days out) gladly passed it over the fence never been asked again suppose my out of date layers aint good enough .

[zazen999]

Perhaps you could ask her to do some work for you and as payment for some produce/tool hire - i'm sure after an hour of digging she will think differently!

I have someone at work who is always asking me to bring her fruit/veg - i don't mind sharing surplus, but she's the type of person that never contributes to a collection or charity fundraiser! So i did share my last surplus, and gave her a bag of nettles - she's never asked again!

Genius. I'd have loved to listen to an explanation of why she brought home a bag of nettles from work that day.

[chris]

Shame she didn't just ram her hand in the bag expecting some fruit or something

[Lazy Gardener]

Our neighbours are just noisy sods. Their children/grandchildren need a good beating with
a stick and mouths washed out with soap.

The language is terrible. They cannot be more than 5 years old.

I speak very little to them. If they speak i give the shortest answer possible as i walk in the other direction.

But friends and family.. Oooh can i have one or some.... Its not long before we are out buying the stuff we grew and gave away.

[Growbagclaire]

Bill thank you for making me laugh on this Sunday morning. Brilliant list :-).


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[Two_Sheds]

I have this one neighbor who`s ... invited herself into my garden

Next time she does, make sure to "water" your compost heap while carrying on a conversation with her.

Oh, and tell her that you water your plants with liquid gold too

[rhonsal]

Genius. I'd have loved to listen to an explanation of why she brought home a bag of nettles from work that day.

I watched her as she left the office and saw her dump them in the bin - very ungrateful - kept me entertained for days as i asked her for the recipes she had used with them! lol