Bad feelings and solutions

[Dorothy rouse]

Thank God for Tangentisation...............

It's a nice word tho.

I guess I'll have to go look it up, I'm assuming it mean one thing, but might have it wrong.

[Alison]

On that note, as the purpose of this thread was only to suggest how if someone doesn't like the tenor of another member's posts, they can avoid seeing them by placing that member's name in their ignore list and that objective has been served, a kindly passing mod might oblige and close the thread. There is no point in continuing to pick over the bones of yesterday.

Personally I don't use the ignore button but there are some people's posts that I don't really read or just scan over for anything interesting. Threads too, I'm not that fussed about a lot of the chat stuff so just don't read most of it . Works for me, I think!

Seriously though, we (as forum members) need to bear in mind the fact that things can be taken out of context when just written and give people the benefit of the doubt but likewise a poster needs to think before writing and if quite a few people think their attitude is out of order then perhaps they could word things differently as I don't think many people mean to offend unless they're a spammer and they're not really people are they?

[Thelma Sanders]

I always think it is worth using terms such as 'in my opinion', or 'I think that'.........rather than just saying that Black is in fact White.

They sould give everyone the chance to give their own viewpoint, without contradiction.
However, I have noticed that some people on this forum have such fixed opinions that you can still be told, in no uncertain terms, that you are wrong - which I think is very sad

IMO It's ok to try and change people's viewpoints with explanations and advice - but we don't come here to be lectured, and it can be very off putting

[Feral007]

You haven't managed to put me off yet Thelma...but keep trying, because you never know when you'll get lucky

[Glutton4...]

... However, I have noticed that some people on this forum have such fixed opinions that you can still be told, in no uncertain terms, that you are wrong - which I think is very sad

IMO It's ok to try and change people's viewpoints with explanations and advice - but we don't come here to be lectured, and it can be very off putting

I agree, wholeheartedly. However, I'm probably guilty of this, on occasions. I've seen some of my older posts, when revisiting old threads, for whatever reason, and I do sometimes think; "Oh why did you post that, you sanctimonious old trout!" about my own comments.

Ain't hindsight a wonderful thing!?

[veggiechicken]

My brain is so muddled about what's right or wrong in gardening that I'll listen to every viewpoint but I always take the easy option. Doesn't always work of course, but I'll keep trying
Its good to hear other folks approach and techniques, its when they're put over as the "only" way to do things that it rankles.
Wouldn't life be boring if we all did everything in the same way - where's the fun in that?

[Bill HH]

Are we so sensitive that we can't tolerate criticism or alternative view points? We are in danger of bowing to political correctness here. Yes respect others view points, yes be polite but we are gardeners and we above all should call a spade a spade.
I abhor posts that belittle or humiliate others, that is just plain unfriendly but there are ways of expressing your opinion without using these tactics.

[Glutton4...]

Shut up, Bill!

[Snadger]

I missed it all, but have since had a gander to see what I missed.

It can all be summed up as "Each to there own"

[Sheneval]

Bill,

Sorry I can't agree and I detest PC probably more than anyone on this Forum

This is not about PC it is about the ability to communicate on a subject that should be friction free without the need for snide comments, sneers and petty point scoring - some people are incapable of doing so - others and this applies to most of those who respond to such posts in a manner best avoided, get suckered into the dispute which gets steadily more heated as each post is made.

That is why we have Mods to step in and nip it in the bud before it gets completely out of hand.

[Dorothy rouse]

Seems to me that the fact, that there is still a lot of discussion going on about the unpleasantries of the other day, there are a number of grapes are still feeling a bit sore about it all, and feelings hurt.

I love the 'fun' side of what goes on here, but also value the advice and help offered, most people find criticism hard to accept, and I think there is an art to offering constructive criticism in a way that doesn't offend.

DottyR

[Bill HH]

Shut up, Bill!

Not quite sure why you said that! But i shall take the high road and assume you're having a bad day.

[Nicos]

well- you DID say peeps should be blunt!!!

[julesapple]

Please don't let's have another fall out

Bill, I think that was a little more G4 sarchasm.......

[Bill HH]

Bill,

Sorry I can't agree and I detest PC probably more than anyone on this Forum

This is not about PC it is about the ability to communicate on a subject that should be friction free without the need for snide comments, sneers and petty point scoring - some people are incapable of doing so - others and this applies to most of those who respond to such posts in a manner best avoided, get suckered into the dispute which gets steadily more heated as each post is made.

That is why we have Mods to step in and nip it in the bud before it gets completely out of hand.

I dont think we disagree, essentialy i am saying the same as you, probably not so well.