Should I stay or should I go?

[out in the cold]

And in relation to my earlier post: they are employers. IIRC this means they must have a grievance policy. As an employee you have the right to air reasonable grievances with your company, unless they are a Sole Trader.

Asking the boss and insisting on A writtencopy will probably make him poop his pants.

[Tripmeup]

Ask your boss for a copy of the company grievance procedures.

Request a meeting with the boss to clear the air, as you want them to clarify why you are being included in "team talks" which are being given as a result of another individual's errors. During the meeting (which you should minute...) make sure that you calmly ask for clarification of whether the boss feels that you are somehow to blame for someone else's training needs. If they get evasive on this,state quite clearly that you need to understand your position, and would view any failure to clarify it as causing undue pressure and tantamount to corporate bullying.

And in relation to my earlier post: they are employers. IIRC this means they must have a grievance policy. As an employee you have the right to air reasonable grievances with your company, unless they are a Sole Trader.

Asking the boss and insisting on A writtencopy will probably make him poop his pants.

Whilst the above are both probably true OITC, the fact is that Ancee works in a very small office of 4 workers and the boss & wife... That of course doesn't exempt them from following standards and rules like everyone else, but the reality is, there will be many small offices that don't have the resources, time, finances etc to do this...


Therefore, if Ancee goes on the attack from here, her boss and his wife will see it as an affront on them to some degree, and she risks alienating herself completely...As it stands, her only issue is with this one person.....
Following such a course of action is of course her entitlement, but I think would be a prelude to her departure from the company, albeit possibly to follow an Unfair Dismissal case or similar...

It's a Friday now, and often a few days away from the office for the weekend can allow people (hopefully in particular that lady in the wrong) to think things over,see things for what they are and cool off a little...

My tuppence worth

[Potstubsdustbins]

Spot on Trip.

Potty

[ancee]

Spot on Trip.

Potty

Unfortunately trip is right!
Policies and procedures and minutes at `meetings'?? They haven't got a clue I'm afraid We don't even have contracts. I took the day off today (my son wasn't well, so it was an excuse really) Just couldn't face another day like the previous two. Trying to take stock. I did used to like my job, but since about September when she was promoted it has got steadily worse. Don't think I want to stay there any more, she has nudged me to this decision, and so have my crap bosses. It's not going to get better, more and more responsibility has been heaped onto me, without a rise in wages. Yes I've spoken to him at length about it, promises have been made and nothing has happened. I feel like my time there is done. I know I get paid, but a bit of appreciation, even a thank you from time to time goes a long way. I will have to stick it out but will look elsewhere. Worrying now though as I know he won't give me a reference and I will have a big hole in my cv

[ancee]

Sorry for being depressive and negative by the way everyone!

[RedThorn]

It is horribly stressful, so chin up, a ear is always freely given and typing it out helps put it out there and sort through things. Different perspectives help to ground you too.

Btw a reference has to be given by law and it is also not allowed to be scathing

Focus on important things like you lil un

[ancee]

thank you rt xxx

[Glutton4...]

((((HUGS)))) Ancee. Small Companies and Family Businesses are very difficult to deal with, as they seem to close ranks and choose a scapegoat, rather than facing the fact that the problems are generally caused at the top.

I understand your frustration, and feelings of hopelessness. I've been where you are, almost exactly, in fact. So you have my heartfelt sympathy. Don't let the bleepers get you down.

[KittyColdNose]

OITC and I both worked for a large multinational company and I think he was coming at it from that side of it. I can see it's different for you Ancee, . (sorry OITC )

I agree with what has been said by the others. Let her be the "bad guy" if she wants, however, you staying positive and carrying on as normal shows her up for what she is/isn't. If you are set on leaving just think of the satisfaction of getting another job where you can be appreciated for the good work you do, and picture your resignation going in at your current one. I did that for ages and when it finally happened felt fantastic.

Chin up Ancee, and big positive hugs. It WILL get better

[julesapple]

Firstly (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

Secondly, much as you want to punch her right up the bracket (and she so deserves it!) - don't. You must, as the horrible phrase goes, "rise above it".

This utterly spiteful woman is still winning - she is purposely causing an atmosphere in the office because she knows that, as a sensitive and decent person, it will upset you.

If you leave now, Little Miss Spikey Knickers has won. Don't give her the satisfaction, or the confidence to go on doing it to the next person and the next.... If you leave now, you might find another job but you'll always regret leaving under a cloud that wasn't of your making.

You haven't done anything wrong. Quite the opposite, so be proud of yourself and let it show.

Yes, I know it's easier said than done......I wish we could all be there, right behind you, in person.

[rustylady]

Start looking for another job Ancee, but in the meantime try not to let little miss snottyknickers upset you.

You won't have a gap in your CV, you have worked for this company for however long and you still put it on your CV.

[Bill HH]

Not only do they have to give you a reference, they should by law have given you a contract and a terms of employment document, these are serious matters and a little leverage for you, should you need it.
We once employed the carer from hell and we quite correctly dismissed her having followed all the procedures to the letter. She took her case (for unfair dismissal) to Acas who in turn took us to a tribunal claiming £400. She got free represntation we would have had to employ a solicitor at £190 per hour. We paid her the money. It is just not worth fighting it. I tell you this because if the worst comes to the worst you would be well advised from an employees point of view to take your case to Acas and claim considerably more than our employee due to you length of service (She was only with us a short time). Anyway good luck.

[binley100]

A reference these days only has to state that you are who you say you are, have worked where you say you've worked ..they are not allowed to mention any grievances or disciplinaries . If they hold up you starting work somewhere else then tell them you'll sue for loss of earnings. It has been known to work ....

[Bill HH]

One employee had a reference from his boss that said............ "This worker does his job entirely to his own satisfaction"

[ancee]

As much as I would like to leave - I can't I have bills to pay and mouths to feed. I know this situation will not get any better. She is in the superior position of being the bosses-wife's best friend, and their two mothers are best friends too. The competition is lost before it starts. I am the better worker, but that means nothing as I can't trump the friendship. I am going to look for something else, I don't have a choice. I will stop harping on and moaning about it now though! And will begin again with happy, gardening related topics from now on!
THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT, TIPS, ADVICE AND HELP, IT REALLY MEANS A LOT, THAT YOU HAVE ALL TAKEN SOME TIME OUT OF YOUR OWN LIVES AND HELPED ME, THANK YOU ALL AGAIN xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - hope that's enough kisses for everyone If anyone knows of any jobs going let me know!!!