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  • Today's laff-in.

    If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.


    Q: Name the four seasons.
    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.



    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.



    Q: How is dew formed?
    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.



    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
    A: Keep it in the cow.



    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.



    Q: What are steroids?
    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.



    Q: What happens to your body as you age?
    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.



    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.



    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
    A: Premature death.



    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?(e.g. abdomen.)
    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.



    Q: What is the fibula?
    A: A small lie.



    Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
    A: Nearby.



    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
    A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome



    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
    A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

    BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

    Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


    What would Vedder do?

  • #2
    Brilliant Hey Wayne! My elder son is doing GCSE's at the moment - will show him these incorrect answers!
    Happy Gardening,
    Shirley

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    • #3
      Q: What is the rms voltage?
      A: Dunno - is it some kind of ship?
      You are a child of the universe,
      no less than the trees and the stars;
      you have a right to be here.

      Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

      blog: http://allyheebiejeebie.blogspot.com/ and my (basic!) page: http://www.allythegardener.co.uk/

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      • #4
        Pubity When you can start going in pubs.
        The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.
        Brian Clough

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        • #5
          They're great! Thanks for the chuckles!

          Comment


          • #6
            Great, made me giggle on a wet morning in the office, thanks for that!
            Life may not be the party we hoped for but since we're here we might as well dance

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            • #7
              Try this one there is a lady on our site with aobelisk with a sun dial with it's back to the sun eeh eeh jacob
              What lies behind us,And what lies before us,Are tiny matters compared to what lies Within us ...
              Ralph Waide Emmerson

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              • #8
                along this vein.... Here's one that I came across a few years ago when my son's secondary school was undergoing a ...
                Some of you may know it!!

                There's only one F'in Ofsted,
                But that's quite enough for us.
                If there's no F'in lesson plan,
                There's one hell of an F'in fuss.

                There's an F'in form to fill in,
                For everything that's said.
                There'll be no F'in future,
                If that fails to please the Head

                Sounds like one F'in photocopier
                Has died from overheat.
                There's no F'in chance at at all
                To keep the worksheets neat.

                There's no F'in inspector
                When your lesson is first rate,
                And there's no F'in good excuse
                To explain why you were late.

                There should be an F'in handbook
                For everything to do.
                Tell the R.I. you left it
                For light reading in the loo.

                There's no F'in parking space,
                For half the F'in staff,
                "RESERVED" for F'in Ofsted
                Who have the last F'in larf.


                There's no F'in spiritual,
                Or cultural education.
                No F'in equality,
                much in differentiation.

                There's only one F'in Ofsted,
                With its "Education Speak".
                Thank God there's an F'in Friday
                To end the F'in week.
                Last edited by madderbat; 29-05-2007, 03:11 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Aye like it!
                  A simple dude trying to grow veg. http://haywayne.blogspot.com/

                  BLOG UPDATED! http://haywayne.blogspot.com/2012/01...ar-demand.html 30/01/2012

                  Practise makes us a little better, it doesn't make us perfect.


                  What would Vedder do?

                  Comment

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