Do you need a laugh

[DannyRam]

I found this the other day and I was crying with laughter. Search for Veet reviews on Google and it will take you to the Amazon page.

[Aberdeenplotter]

killing myself at these eejits.

[Bigmallly]

What puzzles me is why you was looking at it Danny..............

[Potstubsdustbins]

Just read this with SWMBO we are both curled up crying our eyes out.

Potty

[noviceveggrower]

Oh my goodness me. That's all I can say.

[arpoet]

When I had my hand rebuilt in 2000 I had severe post op pain, so, the pain clinic gave me a rubbing pain relief gel that was made from capsicum seeds..... "be very careful how you use it," said the doctor. "if you touch a sensitive area after you have put it on, it will sting like mad...."
Well, after one rubbing session I happened to scratch my nuts.... OMG!!!!!!!! I thought they were on fire.
Mind you it was a super pain relief for my hand.

[DannyRam]

What puzzles me is why you was looking at it Danny..............

Well BM, I was actually searching for "treatment for your bush" (smiles)

[Bigmallly]

Well BM, I was actually searching for "treatment for your bush" (smiles)

Aye, that'll do it............

[ancee]

So funny, there's another one about waxing, I'll have to find it...

[ancee]

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
now...the wax. My night began as any
other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play
with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the next few hours: " Maybe
I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.
"So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax " kits. No melting a clump
of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand,
they get warm and you peel them apart and press them
to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right
off. No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm
not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough
to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the
thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck
together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius
kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000
degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across
my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.
I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am
She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker
of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip
I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back
into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
championship. I drop my panties and place one
foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply
the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line,
covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching
down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long
strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I 'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to
pull off half the strip. C***!!! Another deep breath
and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think
I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???
Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the
one that has caused me so much pain, with my
hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory
that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE
WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still
perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that
should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
C***! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part
of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and
matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...
remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?
I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.
hoo-ha? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin
walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what
to do and think to myself " Please don't let me get
the urge to ****. My head may pop off! " What can
I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts
wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the
bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and
the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!* I get in the tub - the water is slightly
hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize
surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having
your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and
then glued to the bottom of the
tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't
melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the
tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the
porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced
me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call
my friend, thinking surely she
has waxed before and has some secret of how to
get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter
"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the
bottom of the tub! " There is a slight pause. She
doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she
does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to
know exactly where the wax is located, " Are we
talking cheeks or hole or who-ha? " She's laughing
out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on
the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be
the joke of someone else's night. While we go through
various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with
a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered
in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the
tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky
wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has
taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to
need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove
the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this
point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared
the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't
care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! " I get a hearty congratulation from my
friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove
the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and
despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg
at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

[noviceveggrower]

My sister says we are a little sick and can she join us even though she doesn't have a garden.
She told me she has been sat at her desk with tears running down her face while she read it. Thing is she works in a big office in London hope they don't check what she has been google for.

[noviceveggrower]

My sister was laughing that much that she said tears were streaming down her face. Her boss came over to see if there was anything wrong like if she'd had some really bad news or something. She just said someone had sent her a funny email as its her birthday.

[bearded bloke]

Bet you will have tears in your eyes before it gets halfway through .....

I knew the answer to this one,how sad is that ? ....