Couldn't believe my ears.......

[Raybon]

Overheard in the local Newsagent's:

"So how often does Dalton's Weekly come out, then?"

[Greenleaves]

My OH always tells the story from when she worked in a pet shop.

Guy comes in and asks firstly for molested rabbit food rather tha molassed . He then asks my OH if they sell the little blue budgie mirrors with a bell on. " Yes " replies the OH, " Good " says the customer, " can I have a yellow one then"?

[veggiechicken]

Just like the daft woman who asked how much an item was in Poundland...............
You guessed - it was me

[Greenleaves]

Yep, I can believe that VC

[Raybon]

Overheard on the bus:
" I hate it when you come back from holiday. Your dishcloth's gone all stiff."

[Raybon]

Just like the daft woman who asked how much an item was in Poundland...............
You guessed - it was me

Well, nobody's perfect!

[Greenleaves]

For future reference items cost 99p in the 99p store

[veggiechicken]

I'm perfect Raybon - perfectly nutty.
A couple of weeks back, as a passenger, I was giving the driver directions.
"Take the outside lane - not that one , the one in the middle"

[bearded bloke]

Just like the daft woman who asked how much an item was in Poundland

Not all things are so obvious VC,take the 100 years war,that actually lasted ......... 116 years

[Greenleaves]

Oh I see, mods sticking together

[Raybon]

Got this one from a friend:
"I've been up and cleaning since 6 o'clock this morning. And I've still got it all to do!"

[Bren In Pots]

Just like the daft woman who asked how much an item was in Poundland...............
You guessed - it was me

My sister asked me that once in Poundland so I turned to the assistant and said 'my sister wants to know how much is this toy' she replied with a straight face 'tell your sister its a pound'


Have to say thought in my sisters defence we'd just seen the same figures in the Man U shop for £12 each.

[Bren In Pots]

Me describing a room to Mr Pots 'well the widths wider than the lengths long' it made perfect sense to me.

[RedThorn]

Just like the daft woman who asked how much an item was in Poundland...............
You guessed - it was me

Missus asked me same question in the same chain of shops

[Bill HH]

A friend of mine who is a customs officer and does regular stints on a customs patrol boat went into a newsagents on Orkney. "Could I have the daily express please" he said, "Ah now would that be todays or yesterdays" said the shop keeper. "Well todays would ne nice" said my friend. "Ah well in that case you'll have to wait until tomorrow"