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Flaming mice! They have eaten all the labels off my bottles of fruit syrup!!!!!!! Pot luck from now on
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Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration. Lou Erickson, critic and poet -
Second time this has happened recently. I parked my car between 2 others and open the door to get out. The door lightly touches the car next to me and the next minute the bloke in it starts having a rant about it. It is virtually impossible for this not to happen when the parking spaces are so small. I have done no damage and I would love to see him or anyone else try to get out of a car without the door touching the next one."I prefer rogues to imbeciles as they sometimes take a rest" (Alexander Dumas)
"It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live" (also Alexandre Dumas)
OxfordshireComment
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Caught what BM's got, orrible chesty cough, running eyes, running nose, no poker for me tonightPotty by name Potty by nature.
By appointment of VeggieChicken Member of the Nutters club.
We hang petty thieves and appoint great ones to public office.
Aesop 620BC-560BC
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Ruddy Beattie. Again! No broadband all day. Major fault in your area, they say. It will all be fixed in two hours, they say.
Well, it is, but it's so ruddy slow, I actually think I was better with the old dial-up.
The only major fault is having to have their ruddy useless service in the first place!
All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.Comment
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My apologies Potty..................
sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
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Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
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Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
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KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............Comment
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Last night nearly blind dog got herself tangled up in the fleece covering my kale plants - de mummified daft dog and thought I'd recover the plants this morning in the light.
Went out earlier for my first nicotine hit of the day and saw my 2 precious plants, that I had nursed through slug and bug puberty looking like something out of a sci fi programme - no leaves just spiney bits.
To add insult to injury there were 4 pigeons sitting on top of the hedge grinning at me and one even had the cheek to have a lump of leaf sticking out of its beak!
I hope the pigeons have 24 hours of uncontrollable runny poo - serves them right.Last edited by Lumpy; 05-12-2014, 09:27 AM.I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison
Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.Comment
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Don,t ever buy a "Landrover" sport with low profiles thinking your gunna get through winter at a breeze!
You maybe will! And I have! But not accounted for a slow puncture, 15 to 20 hour days (it being the busy season) n don't get time to sort it!
Back to the cold driveway, compresser in hand! This better stay up for my 3am start!
"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad"Comment
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Landrover Sports that don't have a spare.....................
sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
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Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
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Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
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KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............Comment
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That's a Tart's car, Deano! You wanna get a 'fender.Originally posted by Deano's "Diggin It" View PostDon,t ever buy a "Landrover" sport with low profiles thinking your gunna get through winter at a breeze!
You maybe will! And I have! But not accounted for a slow puncture, 15 to 20 hour days (it being the busy season) n don't get time to sort it!
Back to the cold driveway, compresser in hand! This better stay up for my 3am start!
(...conveniently forgetting that she's got to tie the tail-pipe up with bale string, before going anywhere in it tomorrow...) All the best - Glutton 4 Punishment
Freelance shrub butcher and weed removal operative.Comment
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I don't get it
Landrover - sport is that not a contradiction, like skoda - cool or porsche - people carrier?Comment
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Now, now NG, don't go starting controversial topics..............I apologies on NG's behalf to any Skoda owners.........
sigpic“Gorillas are very intelligent, but they don't have to be as delicate as chimps -- they can just smash open the termite nest,”
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Official Member Of The Nutters Club - Rwanda Branch.
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Sent from my ZX Spectrum with no predictive text..........
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KOYS - King Of Yellow Stickers..............Comment
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Sorry
my first car was a lada and I loved it. I only wish I could get a cheap reliable car nowadays - still wasn't cool tho 
it was a samara not a rivaComment
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BM! I,m lazy when it comes to cars! They. Get me to work n back!
G4! Due an upgrade! Was offered a black V8 dual fuel jobbie!
But I have no need! It' drags a small trailer! With a shredder! n various other light weight gardening gear!"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad"Comment
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Conversation with a tenant,
Good evening this is Potty how can we help?
'Tenant' I had a new bedroom carpet fitted this morning and now there was a water leak through the lounge ceiling, the boiler has depressurised and gone to lock out. I need you to come out now and fix it.
Have you the telephone number for the agency's carpet fitter? If not I can give it to you.
'Tenant' It wasn't the agency's carpet fitter........... a mate did it for me.
Ah! sounds like he has nailed a pipe, I would give him a ring see if he can help.
'Tenant' He told me this afternoon he could not fix it, that's why I have phoned you.
So let me sum up the situation. (1) You have had new carpet fitted, did you get the agency's permission in writing? (2) I don't believe you did otherwise you would have called them while the office was open. (3) Now you ring for help at 8-40pm on a Friday night, expecting me to send an emergency fitter to repair the problem you created. (4) You do know of course that you will be responsible for the bill to cover the repair and you will have to pay the engineer cash on completion. You also know that it will be £87-50p for the first half hour and £50-00 for every half hour thereafter or part thereof.
CLICK...............Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hello sir ar you still there, helloooooooooo.
I do love it when you can dump on a dopey.
Potty by name Potty by nature.
By appointment of VeggieChicken Member of the Nutters club.
We hang petty thieves and appoint great ones to public office.
Aesop 620BC-560BC
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I'm a computer numbnuts.....I would love to be able to put pictures up like you geek geniuses...Hey HoI have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison
Outreach co-ordinator for the Gnome, Pixie and Fairy groups within the Nutters Club.Comment
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