Impending wedding

[dexterdoglancashire]

Have a super break - looking forward to hearing your adventures when you get back - and your even bigger, better adventures on the day itself! Bernie

[yoanbob]

weather forcast... storms and heavy rain!
now for ourselves we're not bothered, quite romantic, summer storms.
HOWEVER....
my parents invited 70 peeps more than we wanted and as we're having it at their gaff, and they are helping to pay what could we say?
so instead of a barn dance in the barn we had to build a stage and dance floor outside to accomadate the people, so eating inside dancing out...
the stage and dance floor (built by my cousin who runs a stage buisness, doing festivals and concerts and even did jordans wedding) has already threatened to blow away (must wiegh 10 ton)
so all the folks who have already complained to my parents, (needless to say the ones they invited) about not being able to bring cars to the house, (its a mile long single dirt track on the edge of a cliff with nowhere to park at the top and 120 guests, and you need a lightwieght high axle vehicle to get up in the wet if you get 3 locals and 3 guests going down, 7 coming up what do u do?) so we have a minibus, adapted. or about the invites saying bring woolies and wellies, (which everyone apparently has ignored and have bought new frocks more fool them! even the vicar said she would welcome wellies.) or that we arnt paying for an everlasting bar, (in the middle of nowhere, yeah right, bring your own tipple we will provide enough for every guest to have two drinks of either beer lager or wine. plus the obligatory champers toast)
just concerned about the reprocutions for years to come, "great uncle jack got pnemonia that night" "spent £700 on an outfit that was ruined!"
now, I know we warned people, our invitees will be fine, but the rest of our lives to hear the nasty stuff from distant relatives? via my mum, who isnt happy till you cry or have a breakdown so she knows shes made her point!
we will make the most of it, as will the band who we know, as will the chef who we know, as will the 3 teenyboppers we hired for the occation , who we know, but i am concerned that mum didnt press the point home about the bleakness of the venue, (she made us take words out of the invite that may "scare people off!" (funny that the only people who would of been "scared off" are the ones they invited. and the only ones who will complain.)
as I said for us its not an issue, what will be, will be, we are over the moon about getting wed, the party is for everyone else, but as we are obliged to go we wanted it our way.
we nearly got wed in fiji but we wanted to share with our close friends and family, so does anyone get it right for them, and the rellies and the friends?
now i know your all going to tell me give them 48 hrs notice and it will be o.k. but not with my family.
like i said we are just happy to be getting hitched, we love summer storms, and if everyone who's camping, "including us" ends up sleeping in the barn then so be it, we'll have an adventure!
just the reprecusions i'm worried about!
P.S. isnt it great to have a forum to let off steam? feel better already!

[Mrs Dobby]

Venue sounds ideal to us Yo, remote, limited facilities, camping out and the possibility of a storm, even better! It will deffo be a night to remember!!

We will deffo be bringing woolies n wellies with us, along with wet weather gear and tent n sleeping bags, and sleeping in a barn sounds wonderful, luxury indeed compared with bivouaking under a rock in temperatures of -6C, that we have done in the past 18 months!

I know you are worried, and I can see that the worries have been foisted on you, but it seems to me that the problems are ones that have been caused by others, and no matter what you tell folks they are going to do things in their own ways (even if it means ignoring good advice), so it will be their lookout, not yours!

I can understand the worry about the repercussions, but its YOUR day, others have to fit in with how YOU want it, so if they moan, thats their problem, you just relax and enjoy yourselves, I know we will!

[TPeers]

Oh Lor'! Sounds like you have a Mum who is like my Aunt. Wants to be the family matriarch and tried to achieve said status by brow beating all around her! (Not too suprisingly I don't bother to keep in touch...)

May I recomend a carefully contrived dose of 'wedding nerves' and a blinkin' good row! If the wedding is Saturday I suggest Thursday is the best time for this, gives you a whole day to listen to her 'being careful', great fun!

Inform her in a falsetto scream that she is 'ruining' your wedding and it is all 'her fault' blame the weather on her medding ways!

Won't change a thing but if you do it right you can pull the emotional blackmail stuff she normally pulls on you and you'll be quids in 'cause she won't be able to blame your lack of anything - you'll have got there first!

As for her guests - who cares. It's your guests that are important and they all know to bring warm cloths waterproof foot gear and a bottle!

Have a bit of fun!

Terry

[Flummery]

I really feel for you. The parents have made it hard haven't they? We wanted a small wedding - straight after graduating. My Ma was one of 6 and His Dad was one of 5 so the repercussions of just inviting rellies were enormous! We had our parents, grandparents, sisters and one friend each. There were 13 altogether including us - unlucky - oh no - not with 37 years under our belts and still enjoying it.
I'm sure it won't be as bad on the day as you fear - but rant away - we can take it! All the best for now and for the rest of your lives.

[TPeers]

We just let Mum have her fun.... the hall space limited us to 100 guests in total, 50 each side. I think I got my best friend 'cause she was maid of honour and he got his as best man, other than that Mum and Mil sent invited to those they deemed necessary, I remember that of our 50 something like 40 odd went to family members, who never came but even though we knew they wern't comming I wasn't allowed to invite any friends as it might 'upset' Carol (MiL).

Stupid isn't in it.....

[moggssue]

Let them all get on with it and just concentrate on enjoying yourselves on YOUR day and make your own memories, which you'll have for the rest of your lives. It must be really difficult for you, and it's easy for me to say I know, but don't let them spoil your day, just do your own thing. And lots of luck and wishes to you both!

[laura g]

Blimey. Are your mum and my mum twins? I was told more than once to 'stop ruining her day'. Only way to deal with her was to treat her like a jack russell and give her something (a task? a person?) to get her fangs into other than me. In the run up she was in charge of the favours. how to turn one small thing into a major job - only mum ! On the morning Bruv rose to the occasion and contrived to lose his cravat and top hat which took her focus off of me. Then at the church and afterwards there was enough disfunctional family present to keep her occupied all night through!

To be fair both her and my dad (although divorced and remarried) came together as great hosts and gave us a marvellous, magical day.

Trust me, theres a pre wedding point where you calm down and think 'well, that's that - if its not done it wont be now'. It's nice to get to that point. Rescue Remedy helps!!!!!

[OverWyreGrower]

Agree with all the advice!!

We had 10 family members refuse to turn up because they didn't like the seating plan!! They'd seen a draft of it months before, didn't like it and so fell out with the rest of the family - still not talking 5 years later.

Life is too short for stuff like that!

Laurag - good idea re tasks for mums! I let my mum go and harass all the guests prior to my arrival at the ceremony (in a hotel). Apparantly she was straightening peoples ties etc, ready "for the photos".... honestly!

[yoanbob]

well thats it, i'm setting off so wish me luck, bugger everyone else, we will have a fab time, if mum starts my best buddys are instructed with carefully thought about words to drag me away, robins packed so thats it, here comes the wedding day!

[pigletwillie]

May all go well on your big day and all of the days to come. Enjoy it, deep breaths and hold on tight!!!

[nick the grief]

My mother in law was a tad like that - soon put her in her place SHe never spoke to me for 20 years ...... aaaahhhhh bliss Don't worry Yo it will all go well and you'll lie in bed laughing about it all .... once they sort your tablets out

[Mrs Dobby]

See you soon Yo! Really looking forwards to it all, and if there's any way we can help with anything, you only have to ask!

[shirlthegirl43]

Hope your day goes well. Remember that it is your day and just enjoy it all.