Being an un volunteer babysitter

[veggiechicken]

I remember popping into the pub with Veggiechicken - and with Rosie - and the locals said I could come in if I was on the lead!

.............and everyone in the room was talking to Rosie

[Shadylane]

Doesn't anyone else think leaving your child with someone you only know to say hi to, is a bit presumptious and rude? Don't think I would have been too happy if someone I hardly knew, dumped their child on me and chuffed off expecting me to babysit for them. Bladdy cheek if you ask me.

[Mikey]

I suppose there are a few unanswered details which might illuminate the scenario.

How far from where they were initially sat did they move to?
Was it an obvious disappearing act, or had one gone to the bar and another to talk to someone?
Were they still in eye contact?
Had they told the child where they were going?
Was the child that annoying that they were glad of a bit of peace and quiet?
How long were you left as unofficial babysitter?
Did they come and get the child, or did the child eventually wander off?

Confident children do have a habit of chatting to anyone, while a parent might say don't interrupt a minute darling, a stranger is often more engaging and less prepared to tell them to be quiet. Children also don't tend to stop until they are bored, and will not notice a pregnant pause as a subtle I'd rather not continue this conversation. I think I'd have left the child either to engage with the dogs and carried on your adult conversation, or told the child the dogs were tired and needed some time to sleep for a bit.

This is obviously with hindsight and time to decide what would be the best course of action, something that never occurs to us while in said situation.

[bearded bloke]

Trouble was the friend I sat next to (and another who had joined us) left when it became obvious that the only way we were going to dislodge this child was to be rude.

Hmmmm, not really what I would deem the action of a friend, seems to me these people should be relegated to acquaintance

[mothhawk]

So the parents abnegation to the other side of the pub left me with only child conversation. I'm sorry but however how delightful,the child it was bl00dy rude of them to leave me in that situation.

So what stopped you getting up and moving to the other side of the pub with dogs and child to where the parents were and sitting down with them again, then gracefully rising and returning to your original seat sans child?

Or if you were really p*ssed off, taking the child by the hand and returning it to parental care, perhaps with a passing comment that you charge for child care?

[Aberdeenplotter]

Cmon, that's surely a bit hard. I do agree with SHadylane's comment above but everyone just does not have the ability to front direct action and after all, there was a young child present.

[greenishfing]

I find that as I have got older I have become much more tolerant of children. (a few acquaintances might find this hard to believe though - but they didn't know me when I was younger).

The odd one or two even seek me out on the allotment and come to ask if they can help me(particularly at strawberry time or if I'm making hot chocolate in the shed) or if they need an Elastoplast etc) but if I suspected that the parents were sending them over to get a free babysitter they'd be sent straight back. I did more than my share of unwanted babysitting when I was young as the eldest of 5 children.


As for pubs I don't go to any near to where I live as I believe that they should be the one place you can go and not be bothered by children. All my local ones seem to take an opposing view.

I am also amazed at how many parents let young children out of sight apart from with family or people they can trust......and even then I know from experience that not all family friends can be trusted.

If the child in the original post was annoying me I'd have politely told it that it was time to go back to mummy now and escorted it back if necessary.

[rary]

I remember popping into the pub with Veggiechicken - and with Rosie - and the locals said I could come in if I was on the lead!

Are you sure it was on the lead, and not in the lead?

[JanieB]

To answer a few of the comments.

I was in Paris with my ex and two friends a few years ago. The friends were pre children. We adopted a cafe near to our pension as the place to meet. We were asked by the proprietor if we had children, when I answered yes, my ex doesn't speak French, I was asked why they weren't with us. The actual reason was because we didn't want to disturb their schooling as it was term time and they were staying with grandparents. It was also a surprise last minute break as the male half of our friends had been out in the Bahamas on business and had phoned his wife saying he had a stopover in Paris and could she meet him there.

The cafe was lovely, children were welcome and the parents made sure they didn't take liberties and that's where the problem is. We are not as a country tolerant of children. This little boy was absolutely lovely and if his parents had stayed where they were would have been an enhancement to the conversation. Instead the parents took liberties. They seem to have the same intolerant attitude to their child as other people.

Yes, I could have moved across the pub to join them, but they joined some people I would prefer not to associate with for personal reasons.

He was 5 and very bright. He and I both had a giggle when the landlords daughter nicked a dog biscuit thinking it was a sweet.

OK it's only an hour or so out of my life but I just wanted to talk to someone adult, sad or what?

[Shadylane]

Hmmmm, not really what I would deem the action of a friend, seems to me these people should be relegated to acquaintance

Yeah I thought that too. I think the main issue here is not the little one, but the attitude of his parents, something that - as someone who works in a school - I can relate to.