I need advice

[JanieB]

I know this is the wrong forum but us grapes are a diverse lot and I hope there are those amongst us with expertise and sage advice.

After I retrieved my car today I met a friend for a drink in our local. There is a man that we've known for about 20 years who has an undiagnosed learning disability. His mental age is about 5. He's a gentle soul who has a speech impediment that makes him difficult to understand.

He is being bullied by someone else in our town. From questions today we are fairly sure who the bully is.

I don't know who to go to for help. It should be the police but our local plod aren't renowned for their patience and tolerance with the disadvantaged in our town and this man is not able to deal with this situation on his own. My son has told me not to get involved but the last time this bully was in prison was for breaking the legs of someone on his way home. He did 4 years, his victim is still on crutches.

I couldn't live with myself if something happened to this vulnerable man and I'd done nothing to help.

[Nicos]

How appalling.
I suppose you need to speak with his legal carers/attorneys ( mental age of 5 , he will have someone close to him who acts in his best interests as his attorney)- usually someone who he lives with.

He may not have opened up to them as he has done with you.

[Moopmoop]

Good on you for caring.

I'd contact social services, I assume they will have knowledge of him somewhere along the lines with him being a vulnerable person. I hope it gets sorted soon.

I understand why your son is telling you to keep out of it, but if we all turned a blind eye to the bad things that happen the world would be an ugly place.

[WendyC]

I'd agree social services is the way to go. If this gentleman functions on the level of a child then perhaps it is akin to reporting suspected abuse of a child. My other suggestion would be the GP, but you may not know who that is.

[GreaterMarrow]

I agree - speak to someone in social services via your local council.

I deal with social services at work and I'm sure if there are safeguarding concerns they will investigate.

[Jay-ell]

Social Services would be the best people to contact. Try to get their Safeguarding Officers whose job is to protect vulnerable people from abuse

Safe From Harm - This website is intended to help vulnerable people who are at risk of abuse

https://m.oxfordshire.gov.uk/cms/con...nerable-people

[noviceveggrower]

Does he live in a place with other people like him? If so you could have a word with them.
If not then I think like others have said social services who could look into it.
That's the thing about bullies they always pick on those they think are weaker than them or different.

[JanieB]

Social Services would be the best people to contact. Try to get their Safeguarding Officers whose job is to protect vulnerable people from abuse

Safe From Harm - This website is intended to help vulnerable people who are at risk of abuse

https://m.oxfordshire.gov.uk/cms/con...nerable-people

Thankyou. This is exactly the information I needed and didn't know existed. It appears a friend of mine is on the board mentioned so I will contact her and ask for advice.

[muddled]

Speaking as a mum of an adult with special needs....Thank god for people like you!

I would say that whoever you contact....do it in writing. Letters must be retained by public authorities and therefore, could be used against that authority in the future if they fail to act. This fact is a good incentive to a busy department.

Also, when you write your letter, copy in as many agencies as you can think of and send photocopies to all of them.....and to a couple of councillors and MPs. Give every possible person the opportunity to help the man. They can all do their own thing....police keep an eye for the villain, social services help the man...councillors oversee and chivvy along, we (parents) hear so much about 'multidisciplinery approaches' perhaps this is an instance when it might actually be useful.

God I hate bullies.

[JanieB]

Thank you Jay-ell. The links you gave me were spot on. When I went to vote today I went into the pub to see if this man was in there and he was. Social Services got hold of the right people and the situation has been sorted.

I do have reservations however, as I wonder if they know who was doing the bullying, and if they've dealt with him.

[Moopmoop]

There's nothing more you can do and at least now you know that you've done your best to help him.

A small act of kindness goes a long way. Thank you for doing something wonderful

[Jay-ell]

Janie glad it's working out. As Edmund Burke said "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - so your act of kindness and concern is one step closer.