Hitch-hiker - What Should I Have Done.....?

[FB.]

Yesterday evening, around 8.23pm (dusk), I was travelling South-West along the A1101 through Beck Row, Suffolk, near the Mildenhall air base.

Standing at the edge of the village was an elderly man (well, he had white hair) with arm out, thumb up, presumably looking to get someone's attention to either hitch a ride or for assistance with a problem.

So I pull in and ask what I can do for him.
He asks for a lift to Bury St. Edmunds - or as close to Bury as my route will take me.

I'm heading that general direction so I let him in and off we go. My car has a dash cam so it recorded all conversation in the car and I informed him shortly after he got in that he was being recorded.

Enroute to Bury St Edmunds I ask him what's happened to cause him to need a lift. He says he is new-ish to the area (lives in Bury) and his car - a Hyundai - had broken down.

So I took him into Bury and he asked to be dropped off outside the gardens/ruins, which I did around 8.53pm.

My dilemma is this:

Was he actually suffering from a mental disorder and has now disappeared from his carer?
As I dropped him in central Bury St Edmunds I reasoned there would be plenty of people around to assist him if I shouldn't have done what he asked.

Should I just drive by an elderly person by the side of the road when they're requesting a vehicle to stop to assist them? What if he wasn't feeling well and was asking for assistance - later dropping dead because nobody stopped?

What should I have done? It feels like I was in a no-win situation since I could have done the wrong thing by picking him up, but also could have done the wrong thing by ignoring him and driving past.

[muddled]

I think you did the right thing....assuming that you are fairly fit and strong and would have able to defend yourself if the chap attacked you.

If he was an 'escapee' (though from where I can't imagine) it is better he is in town than stood at the roadside.

More likely though, that he was telling the truth.
It's a sad, sad world when we aren't able to help a stranger in need without beating ourselves up for it!

You did a good thing.

[Scarlet]

Totally the right thing. The older generation often hitched lifts and thought nothing of the dangers. My Dad had a nasty accident when I was a kid and couldn't drive as a result. He had to make two trips a week to a hospital for a few months - he hitched every time people often did, not everyone had cars, certainly not two per family. I remember thinking someone may hurt him, he laughed and said he met some lovely people and even women stopped and picked him up!!

[cariann88]

I would of been in two minds weather to let him hitch hike or not. One part will be telling me aww, he's an elderly man that needs a lift and the other would be well what if anything happens if I picked him up.

[Bill HH]

There is little else you could have done, people who live in care homes and wander are not escapees, care homes do not have locked doors, in fact it is illegal. It was his right to go wherever he wished whether that was good for him or not. If he was a wanderer the staff would soon notify the police. if you are genuinly concerned due to his behaviour then just call the police and tell them in case they are looking for him.

[cariann88]

They do have locked doors(for safety reasons) But mainly because it is because those with dementia do not wonder out and get themselves lost. But those who was okay could go out if they wanted to, but we would have to let them out.

[Scarlet]

Yes, my step Dad had Alzheimer's and was in a hospital with locked doors. He escaped once and was found wandering Newport in his slippers thankfully someone picked him up and took him to the police station.

[mothhawk]

I think you did the right thing. Good samaritans are few and far between these days and it would have been a long walk home for him if nobody had stopped.

Being a woman, I would probably have kept the doors locked and just offered him the use of a phone to call family or a taxi or other assistance first. I'd be thinking along the same lines as Carrie.

On the other hand......if he was driving to or from Bury, you should have passed his car either before seeing him, or after....

[Guest]

What you did was a nice thing, but unfortunately there are more and more people that will play on that fact. The fact he was elderly is neither here nor there. What you should have done was pulled over at a safe place and contacted the police and make them aware of the situation and they will then assist.

At the end of last year there were several attempted car jackings where people were flagged down in different scenarios, as soon as someone went to get out someone came from no where and tried to take their cars. These were in the Thetford/ Downham Market area so not far away.

Also my husband was run off the road by a drunk driver who was only interested in getting away from the scene. She gave some sob story (not the truth) to a few drivers, unfortunately one driver actually gave her a lift home. Thankfully the police picked her up and she was so far over the limit it made no difference that she had been at home.

I know it seems a sad state of affairs but your safety should be first

[skeggijon]

I'm afraid I'd never pick anyone up. Memories of watching The Hitcher prevents me from letting strangers in the car.

[Potstubsdustbins]

I was driving back in the 60s and hitching before that, it was the excepted normal thing to ask for or to give lifts. It was nothing unusual for a friend and I to hitch from Nottingham to Snowdonia to go climbing.

Would I do it now, I honestly don't know, certainly my son would not unless it was someone he knew. It is a very sorry state of affairs when we have to worry about stopping to offer assistance to someone. Our instincts tell us to help but our brain red flags the idea, certainly if I was female I would never stop to pickup anyone in this day and age.

[Scarlet]

I think it was acceptable years ago, times have changed. I would be too worried to stop for anyone.

[Ovce domácí]

Its quite common here although not as much as 10 years ago, Ive offered a few times to people heading east to the second city Brno but they usually wait for the next one to come as I stop 40 mins short of town where our summer house is. They sort of ambush you on the way out of a petrol station expectantly sometimes on the edge of town which I imagine can be intimidating for some. Similarly though when the car has broken down on a country road 9/10 cars going past stop and offer assistance. I think its because its still a small country and quite homogeneous outside of the capital.

Used to drive a taxi in the UK as well so I guess I did this for a living...

[Jay-ell]

Why do you think he may have had a mental health need - age, actions or because you had already picked up three other hitch hikers that day so one of them probably has mental health needs and you just figured it was him (NHS states that 25% of the population has mental health issues)

[donksey]

You did all you could, given the situation and information at hand.