Firstly, well done for stepping up!
Secondly, brilliantly well done for being open with SS and proactive.
Recent case law has meant that SS are in general favouring family fostering and 'kinship care' over permanent fostering or adoption or other routes, which means that if you're offering, and there's no overwhelming reason not to, SS are very likely to at the very least assess you for the little lad's care.
Apart from getting in touch with his SW (be assertive, but calm - make it clear you really want to give this lad a stable home and believe you can meet his needs) there's not a lot you can do at this stage. However, you might want to sit down and write down what you think you have to offer. Consider:-
Childcare experience
Local support networks (who would come round and help? Whose shoulder can you cry on?)
What support you might need from SS in future - training? financial? therapy for him?
What you can offer in terms of local facilities/where you live/schools etc
What your home has to offer - bedroom/garden/space to play?
Why you think you can do this emotionally.
The strengths in your relationships.
How you would protect the lad from the kind of battles you've described in his family.
Don't be afraid to talk about 'soft' things like love and care and affection.
You also might want to read up on trauma in kids who've had multiple changes of carer (look for references to 'attachment difficulties') and bear in mind that a lot of what he's been through may only come out in the wash during his fast approaching teenage years.
There's a lot of good info out there in google land. A lot of the info for adopters might be relevant to you, too.
IF SS aren't positive, ask them why. Not confrontationally, just in a, "can you please tell me why you're not choosing to pursue our offer?" kind of way. Given the current policy and legislative framework, they really ought to assess you, and if you want to challenge them, you'll need to get your facts straight.
BEST of luck! I think you're in with a good chance.
(I'm an adoptive mum waiting (im)patiently for a second child, so the current system of prioritising assessing all family members before pursuing adoption is really working against me, but in many cases it's nevertheless the right thing to do, and I genuinely wish you well. )
Secondly, brilliantly well done for being open with SS and proactive.
Recent case law has meant that SS are in general favouring family fostering and 'kinship care' over permanent fostering or adoption or other routes, which means that if you're offering, and there's no overwhelming reason not to, SS are very likely to at the very least assess you for the little lad's care.
Apart from getting in touch with his SW (be assertive, but calm - make it clear you really want to give this lad a stable home and believe you can meet his needs) there's not a lot you can do at this stage. However, you might want to sit down and write down what you think you have to offer. Consider:-
Childcare experience
Local support networks (who would come round and help? Whose shoulder can you cry on?)
What support you might need from SS in future - training? financial? therapy for him?
What you can offer in terms of local facilities/where you live/schools etc
What your home has to offer - bedroom/garden/space to play?
Why you think you can do this emotionally.
The strengths in your relationships.
How you would protect the lad from the kind of battles you've described in his family.
Don't be afraid to talk about 'soft' things like love and care and affection.
You also might want to read up on trauma in kids who've had multiple changes of carer (look for references to 'attachment difficulties') and bear in mind that a lot of what he's been through may only come out in the wash during his fast approaching teenage years.
There's a lot of good info out there in google land. A lot of the info for adopters might be relevant to you, too.
IF SS aren't positive, ask them why. Not confrontationally, just in a, "can you please tell me why you're not choosing to pursue our offer?" kind of way. Given the current policy and legislative framework, they really ought to assess you, and if you want to challenge them, you'll need to get your facts straight.
BEST of luck! I think you're in with a good chance.
(I'm an adoptive mum waiting (im)patiently for a second child, so the current system of prioritising assessing all family members before pursuing adoption is really working against me, but in many cases it's nevertheless the right thing to do, and I genuinely wish you well. )
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