For the first time

[Tripmeup]

I still don't get it Janie
Not being nosey, but sounds rude to me after being invited to say something like that... Why do they not want to sit at the table... Don't worry if u rather not explain

[veggiechicken]

I don't think any of us "get it" Trip.
Why accept an invitation to a meal, then refuse to sit with everyone. Will the two who don't want to sit at the table, want to sit with each other or do they want to be completely alone.

I thought my friends were weird.............

[JanieB]

Stevie was in a horrendous motor accident about 6 years ago. For some reason they housed him in our town away from his friends and family. I met him trying to order a beer in my local. The accident had damaged the part of the brain dealing with speech and writing. I had more patience than the barmaid and worked out what he wanted. We've been friends ever since but he still suffers from self worth issues. He can now write (he sends me poetry) and his speech is fine apart from a slight stutter that gets worse if he's distressed.

Paul has been my friend for over 40 years. He fell apart about 20 years ago when his wife walked out without warning. He used to be a very good looking and smart man. He's one of the brightest people I know, but...... He doesn't look after himself. I think his issue is that he's let his house go to such an extent he can't keep himself clean and he's embarrassed to sit at the table with us so he's making excuses. Any offers of help are treated as insults and I value his friendship, so I will go along with his wishes. He may choose not to join us in which case I will plate up a meal and deliver it together with starter, pudding, cheese and biscuits, cracker and a bottle of port which I know he's partial to.

[Tripmeup]

Very giving of you Janie.. I wasn't prying but you, yourself, have had enough going on in your own live without people being rude when you extend a generous invitation... Your explanation clears alot up though.. I hope they and you enjoy a great Christmas dinner and they all appreciate your efforts....



....and that you love preparing it in your new kitchen

[veggiechicken]

The weirdest thing in in this is that (completely independentlely) 2 of them have decided that they will come to dinner but don't want to to sit at the table.

So your not really surprised about their decision after all

[JanieB]

Actually I was very surprised but I've spent 10 years of varying Christmasses with people including my family not understanding my needs as a widow. So I'm trying to give friends the Christmas they want. I hope that next time they will feel confident enough to join in. Actually I hope they feel left out and will join the rest of us anyway but I'm not going to push it.

I've had 2 Christmasses on my own and didn't like them. These aren't fly by night users, they are genuine long term friends who've worked all their lives and I want to give them something back for their friendship.

[veggiechicken]

Janie, its 10 years since my husband died too and I've spent most of my Christmases since then on my own. I've reinvented Christmas my way and it suits me - no fuss, no hassle, no pressure.

I hope this year is happy for you, your friends and family.

[Glutton4...]

I've had 2 Christmasses on my own and didn't like them. These aren't fly by night users, they are genuine long term friends who've worked all their lives and I want to give them something back for their friendship.

Janie, its 10 years since my husband died too and I've spent most of my Christmases since then on my own. I've reinvented Christmas my way and it suits me - no fuss, no hassle, no pressure.

I hope this year is happy for you, your friends and family.

I remember Janie's comments in previous Christmad-based threads. My opinion, for what it's worth, is that whatever you do, will possibly upset someone. (You cannot please all the people all the time...) But, if these people have accepted your invitation, then you should be pleased that they have chosen to accept, and you will all probably haven a fabulous day.

It annoys me that the idea of an 'ideal family Christmas' is forced upon us by the media, and so many people feel pressurised by this. Do what you want, those that don't approve will get over themselves. Eventually.

Have a fab one! XX

[Nannysally99]

I think your lovely gesture is great Janie. Bet you all have a good day, you deserve it

[Verinda]

I am sure you will have a lovely day Janie, if your friends feel happier not sitting at the table it must be such a relief for them to be able to tell you and for you understand and be happy for them to sit where ever they they feel comfortable.

Both my sons have Asperger's and family meals at the table have never been the norm for us.

[Nicos]

A lovely gesture Janie.
I'm sure it will be highly successful and you all have a happy and memorable day !

[vixylix]

sounds lovely Janie and its nice to see such a lovely gesture.

I hope you all have a fabulous day

[JanieB]

Thankyou for your good wishes and I've had another thing chucked into the mix, Stevie's gluten free and doesn't eat turkey. Ffs.

[veggiechicken]

Better to know now! How about a salmon fillet? That's my fallback main course.

[Jay22]

Have you seen the ad for a certain supermarket and their gluten free foods? 'The Gluten Free Latimers' are coming for tea!