What is the most stupid/daftest thing you have done in the garden/allotment?

[greenishfing]

My husband (walking disaster area) managed to submerge his left foot in the pond on one of the coldest days of the year. I only found out when I went to find out why he was skulking in the car and discovered a saturated shoe and sock and that he was using my furry hat as a towel/footmuff.

This however is far from his worst catastrophe which was putting a bag of weeds on a bonfire with a disposable gas canister in the middle (where it came from is one of life's mysteries). Even though the canister was "empty" it exploded like a bomb and he spent the afternoon in A & E.

I just wondered if anyone else was as accident prone? I'm not sure how he has survived so long (into his eighties). In the dim and distant past he once put his finger into a light fitting to see if it was live. It was! On another occasion he fell off a roof and down into a well.

What is the daftest thing I have done?............

Let my husband work unsupervised!!!!

And the rest of you??

[Lumpy]

That is brilliant...............I'm glad I'm not the only one with one of THOSE people,

Thank you for making me laugh to the point of wetting myself!

[jackarmy]

ditto ............

[jonny the plant pot]

My hero ...........I'm in my 40s and if I get anywhere near your husband I will be proud.

[greenishfing]

That is brilliant...............I'm glad I'm not the only one with one of THOSE people,

Thank you for making me laugh to the point of wetting myself!

He is definitely one of "those" people!!!

Health and Safety was unheard of when he was young and his stories of going to the local hardware store to buy gunpowder to make his own fireworks as a boy are scary.

As for his hobby of sailing I eventually refused to go with him!

Even I can't believe his latest idea. He wants to learn to fly...............Can any one remember "Some mothers do 'ave them"?

................................."There are old pilots, there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots"...............

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rary]

It wasn`t in the garden, but I was led up the garden path, when when we agreed for better or for worse, I think she got the better and I got the worse, it happened fifty years ago this month, and she is still trying to change me.

[sparrow100]

I wanted to make some liquid feed. I put some potato fertiliser in a bottle with water and left it to 'mature'.
2 weeks later it looked like it had dissolved, but had separated. Bet you can guess what I did?

Yep, I shook it.

Turns out spud fertiliser is essentially chicken poo. And in a warm shed it ferments happily. Was covered in brown stinky 'champagne'.

I wouldn't advise it. (apologies if I've posted it elsewhere - it was an unforgettable experience)

[Verinda]

My granny was once digging the garden a little too enthusiastically and stuck the fork through her foot! Ugh such a terrible thought. I don't know the details and she's not around to ask, but I know she was carted off to hospital and survived to dig another day!

[Aberdeenplotter]

My starring role in Beechgrove Garden wasn't my first appearance on tv. A few years back, I did a wee spot for Reporting Scotland. I was asked to lift some spuds and the camera man kept missing the action. I was getting frustrated at having to lift so many spuds and stuck my fork through the foot of my rig boots. I didn't penetrate the skin thankfully but it was painful nonetheless. For years I expected to see my fizzog on Auntie's Bloomers(or was it bloopers).

[Noosner]

Oh, greenishfing, what a brilliant post, that really made me laugh!

It didn't happen on the lottie, but on holiday once, Mr Noosner decided to see 'if the sand was still hot' under a disposable barbecue. He tested it by pressing the flat of his hand against the sand. And yes, it was still hot, red hot, and he burnt the palm of his hand and all his fingers. We still laugh about it. Or at least, I do...

[Muddy_Boots]

OK

Just found this thread and will confess about this .....

This is my 3rd year with my plot, council gates are locked with a combination padlock and instructions are to keep gate locked at all times even when someone is still there when you leave.

For the first few weeks when I arrived and went home others were already or still there so I didn't need to unlock the gate as they had just left the padlock undone but looking like the gate was locked.

Then the fateful day arrived when I was busy wanting to get whatever I was doing finished and it was starting to get dark ....... decided to stop and pack up, looked around and I was the last man standing.

Packed everything away .... now it was really dark.

Got in the car, turned lights on, started the engine, drove up to the gate, got out and ......... oh sh*t

....last one to leave had locked the padlock and ...... you guessed it I'd forgot the combination.

Had visions of me waiting until morning having to sleep in the car until the first person turned up to let me out. Luckily the guy 2 plots down from me turned up half an hour later with a torch to do a late night check of his poly-tunnel, lucky or what.

Never again did I forget that damn combination. lol

[Lumpy]

Now I have mopped up the piddle puddle from under my chair I shall tell you...........

Mr Lump once lit one of those disposable BBQ thingys on top of the plastic garden table.....by the time it had finished melting it looked like a yucky green lava flow.

The very first raspberry canes I ever bought were planted upside down Q discussion of roots etc.

He put up some lovely living room ceiling lights in one of our previous houses, they looked great but only the kitchen light switch turned it on.

He had a go at pulling the hairs out of his nose with my tweezers and spent ages alternating between screaming and sneezing.

He super glued his hand to the fridge door he was trying to fix........................and so it goes on!

[Glutton4...]

You should write a book!

[Small pumpkin]

None have happened in the garden but there have been a few funny accidents

Broke my big toe horse riding. I wasn't very big so squeezing the horses sides to make him go faster didn't work. I had to swing my legs out and kick him so he would notice I was sat on him! Anyway timed it very badly and broke my toe on a fence post we were passing.

Cracked my elbow playing football.

Dislocated my other elbow walking ( falling) down a 3ft slope !

Cracked collarbone tripping over my own feet ( I was drunk ).

There's been others but you get the idea
Can someone deleted one of these posts please . I hate my iPad

[Lumpy]

Anybody who reads my bits on here already knows that I have near daily disasters so I thought I would tell you all about these..............

When I was about 8 we went on a family trip to Marwell Zoo (is it still there?). It was very hot and I was standing right up against the fence eating my ice lolly admiring the huge tiger that was just the other side.

I was fascinated with the beautiful creature until it turned around, lifted his tail and sprayed me with tiger pee.

I was soaked and I stank. The excessive heat did not help.

All the way home the car windows were right down as it was impossible to breathe inside due to my tigger tiddle smell.

Now, we had an old poodle at the time who used to come running to us when we came in...............my Dad opened the front door...............the dog came running towards us...................got to about 10ft away..................screamed and then hid under the sideboard.

Several baths later there was still a ghostly smell of tigger and it took weeks for the dog to stop shaking enough to come anywhere near me.

Oh Oh I forgot about the stockings!

Daughters wedding.............had lost some weight..........nice basque with suspenders.............stockings, real silk ones................dancing with Mr Lump (a slow and quite one).........suspender went ping............strain on the other was too much so it also went ping...........silk stocking now around ankle................drunk guests laughing...............I looked down..........lost a bit of balance and put my 3in heel into the saggy stocking...........ended up on bum with legs in the air and I had only had one drink!