NEW MOD REQUIRED - apply within

[KevinM67]

With BB relinquishing his post of Mod due to journalistic entrapment (although the official line is old age).

The site is now looking to recruit unofficially a new Mod to replace the 'replaceable' BB.

So what attributes, skills, bungs could you bring to the site in your role as the new Mod.

- Tell us about yourself !
- What would you change ?
- What are your strengths/faults ?
- Which fellow Mod would you trample over to reach the top ?

Closing date is 32nd Julember 2106.

[veggiechicken]

Looking forward to the replies
How about you, Kelvin? What can you "bring to the table" (Stoopid question 'cos we know the answer's veggies)

[Greenleaves]

Thats what I like, a man with a back bone, oh hang on.......i can just make out the end of VC's pointy stick

[Lumpy]

Pick me.........pick me..........pick me............

To answer Kevs questions -

I'm Lumpy. I have no sense of humour, can always grow any plant and do NOT suffer fools easily........

I what I would change is the no panto rule for the Crimbo activities - take sand paper to VC's stick - always build new homes with round doors and have a forum section dedicated to my very obvious growing brilliance.

My strengths - I have alot of time on my hands and I don't care when people question my sanity. My weaknesses (is that spelt right) are that I regularly have to edit my post because I can't spell. In the worse case situation I have to use a smaller word completely. Oh and I can't grow a courgette.....

I would not trample on any Mods because I'm scared of the lot of them.

[Small pumpkin]

Not me

I've got to much Polytunnel juggling to do .

[veggiechicken]

I'm going to ask a serious question!

We Mods have a "list" of Grapes we think would make good Mods but if there is anyone who would be prepared to do it, PM me or one of the Mods. Who knows, you may already be on our "list" and a volunteer is always better than forced labour

You need to be on here most days for an hour or so - and its unpaid, apart from a free subscription to the GYO magazine. Seriously, who could put a price on the pleasure of working with the Mod team

PS Don't take offence if you don't get the job, it could be you next time

[KevinM67]

Hi..... my name is Kevin

I'm seeking your vote to change things - let's 'Take back control', 'Let's make the Vine Great again'.

I may be shallow, with no consideration towards others.
I may be seeking this role as Mod for ulterior motives, but be reassured fellow grapes - I am doing this for purely for my own advancement - if I need to step on anybody to get there (Lumpy) then I will.

Anyway - any real candidate needs policies...

So dear gullible members - what changes are required ?

My manifesto will reflect the views of the generally insane public - just like all others.

[Lumpy]

Oi Kev how come I get 'stepped' on?

Something to add to your mumble festo..............no shell fish - yuk!

And, as an edit to impart some ancient wisdom to you.....it's only the hairs on a gooseberry that stop it from being a grape.

[burnie]

Oi Kev how come I get 'stepped' on?

Something to add to your mumble festo..............no shell fish - yuk!

And, as an edit to impart some ancient wisdom to you.....it's only the hairs on a gooseberry that stop it from being a grape.

The Guzzgogg is a far superior fruit, makes just as good a wine and let's face it, grape crumble just doesn't do it.

[Lumpy]

^^^^^^^^^ absolutely and..........you don't have to treat a gog plant like a prima donna to get it to fruit.

[KevinM67]

Oi Kev how come I get 'stepped' on?

Something to add to your mumble festo..............no shell fish - yuk!

And, as an edit to impart some ancient wisdom to you.....it's only the hairs on a gooseberry that stop it from being a grape.

I'm sorry dear Lumpy - this politics lark is a dirty game.

But you are a threat- as a female...You represent:

17% of board of directors of the 100 FTSE companies.
34.7% of those employed in the civil service.
70% of the population that earns the minimum wage.
35% of our Local Councillors, and...
13% of our Council leaders

Me - I'm a white, middle-aged male. Done nothing of any note.

If UK voting patterns are anything to go by - I'm expecting the votes from the leafy suburbs to come rolling in.

[SusieG]

Aarrggh................. COME BACK BB ...........................!

[rary]

Kev. dont forget 100% Household Controlers

Should hasve asked why do candidates need polticies

[veggiechicken]

I'm sorry dear Lumpy - this politics lark is a dirty game.

But you are a threat- as a female...You represent:

17% of board of directors of the 100 FTSE companies.
34.7% of those employed in the civil service.
70% of the population that earns the minimum wage.
35% of our Local Councillors, and...
13% of our Council leaders

Me - I'm a white, middle-aged male. Done nothing of any note.

If UK voting patterns are anything to go by - I'm expecting the votes from the leafy suburbs to come rolling in.

Kelvin, these are statistics - and they're not Lumpy's - because Lumpy's never lie.
One vital statistic you have omitted - 83% of Moderators are female - and we're not 100% sure about the remaining 17%

[Greenleaves]

I resemble that remark VC