The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[Lumpy]

ray gun, jar of lemon curd and elastic band.

Don't worry VC shouted Lumpy I'll help you pay the bill. The GR has a very good instalement plan so me and.............

[Lumpy]

and who? said Lumpy as she looked around the empty bar.

It was only 30 or so minutes until 2017 and she knew that Nicos was already slowly (due to pruning) walking towards the door with the huge lock up key in her hand.

I suppose I am ellie no mates thought Lumpy as she freely and, without interuption helped herself to yet another cherryade. I suppose I shall start doing the conga...............

[veggiechicken]

..........eel? Sounds a bit fishy to me, said VC.
Lumpy, do you fancy a lock-in in the Tardis? Nicos won[t spot us there and there's plenty of room to swing your trunk

[rary]

Is that the only thing swing in there

[Lumpy]

We could always try the cat if we had one squeeked Lumpy............lock in, in the Tardis VC? You are such a tease. Of course I'm in.

Rary grab that............

[Lumpy]

bottle off the bar that Potty left and lets all........................Do the Conga...................Lets all do the Conga........towards the Tardis where all the Grapes, whether here or in spirit can carry on in 2017 adding to the this wonderful forum.........................VC get the lights on, crank up the juke box and lets................

[veggiechicken]

..........party!
All together now...
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind
because you've drunk a lot
and can't make this rhyme

For auld lang syne Lumpy dear
For auld rary too
we'll sup a glass of Glayva now
and meet again tomorrow!

[rary]

As we are in the Tardis I will meet you all later today, though I might just fast forward to tomorrow to see if the party today was any good

[Lumpy]

Lumpy was amazed, well she would have been if her brain cell had not gone on strike that Nicos had not arrived with 'the' key.

As her trunk slowly uncurled itself from the edge of the Tardis door she used a nearby chair to haul herself up right.

The bar was empty except for a gentle snoring noise coming from VC who had collasped with tiredness into the pickled egg dish.

I think I better go home now as it is nearly spring and I need to buy some seeds.

She wedged herself into the Tardis, twiddled with various dials and levers, had one last wistful look at the GR and then she and the Tardis vanished with the slightest of plops.

VC opened one eye and propped her beak on the edge of the egg dish............s' gone........plop......s' back. At least I can get now.........................

[Aberdeenplotter]

AP wandered in with his dustpan and brush expecting to have to do a major clean up and pour Rary and VC out but he was .............

[Florence Fennel]

to be disappointed. Rary was at church and VC was in a freezing cold More Reasons buying cream cakes. Whether she will bring the cream cakes in here for us is doubtful, so

[rary]

Where is VC with the cream cakes I feel like having a wee nibble, with a nice drink

[Lumpy]

The pubs heavy doors slammed open with a huge BANG......................Rary, who was balanced on top of one of the optics fell onto the floor behind the bar with a crash.

He peered over the top to see what or who had arrived and nearly needed incontinance pads when he saw what was taking up most of the floor space........................



the compost dalek was using its 2nd hand plunger to look around the bar and then it spotted Rary....................

germinate..........must germinate...........must germinate it said as it levelled its spray gun at Rary who by now was.............

[veggiechicken]

...........hiding beneath Lumpy's thickskinned tum! Cautiously, rary reached out and grabbed her trunk in both hands! Lumpy bellowed in her usual "Fetch me drink" voice and the Compost dalek stopped moving.
This was just what rary had hoped for. Aiming Lumpy's trunk at the dalek, he squeezed hard and doused the dalek with a mixture of alcoholic dregs that had been sucked up from...............

[Lumpy]

Rary's kilt......................Oh blubber I missed shouted Rary who had yet to notice that poor old Lumpy's trunk was dangling at right angle to her face.........................You broke it shouted Lumpy in a very nasal voice and who was now taking no notice of the darlek that was still shouting.........................

germinate........must germinate........................germinate.......

VC appeared as if by magic, grabbed her ex pointy, aimed it at Lumpy's poor trunk and shouted Trunkfixiate whilst flapping her pointy in any direction that took her fancy (it had been a while since precise pointy was possible)........................there was a flash of light and a smell of burnt tyres..............