The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[Lumpy]

they just want to get rid of me I wailed. After at least 30 seconds of tears I then decided to give the hunters something to be afraid off so I shall become.....................



Bumpy the...............

[veggiechicken]

...........Wombat, said Lumpy in her most menacing giggle as she waddled off in search of............

[rary]

A description of how scary a wombat is

[veggiechicken]

A Wombat's level of scariness is proportionate to the value of gifts it receives for Christmas..........you can read about it in

[Lumpy]

The Wombat Book For Beginners which I, Lumpy / Bumpy had been peering into for the last hour or two.

I now know that if I don't get any pressies I shall become Superbat and as that is the most likley I shall scare everybody absolutely....................

[veggiechicken]

...........into a state of uncontrollable guano production.........and

[Lumpy]

pig poo too that.....................end I shall menace all of the regulars untill they accept me Lumpy / Bumpy for.............

[Small pumpkin]

For being a nutter and a fruit loop! But then.....SP lost her train of thought, and headed towards the bar in search of more beer, only to find......

[Lumpy]

the barmaid had lost the ability to....

[veggiechicken]

..........distinguish between light and dark. She looked totally stoopid wearing hooge sunglasses in the darkness of the bar!
Take them off said Shen and rary, the terrible two............

[Sheneval]

... whose remarks were sure to be misinterpreted by some people and them into trouble with the one with the pointy stick unless..............

[veggiechicken]

.....Don't worry Shen, the Pointy stick is hanging above the mantlepiece, come with me, said VC, and I'll show you.
Glasses in hand, Shen and VC ambled into the bar, towards the blazing log fire, in the old inglenook.

VC raised her dainty little forefinger (not the gnarled, fat fivefinger) and pointed genteely, as only a lady chicken can.

Aaaarrrrrrrh!! Its gone, my stick has gone
There was a great hurrumping in the corner and Shen and VC turned.............there was an elephant in the room


and in its trunk...............

[Lumpy]

was a note addressed to VC.

It read pay up or else the ancient and venerable pointy gets............

[veggiechicken]

No, No please, I beg of you, don't.............

[Lumpy]

don't........don'........don..........do...............spluttered VC as she had inhaled a generous mouthful of red whilst trying to beg.............................please I will pay at least...........