The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[lottie dolly]

an angel did appear and rary was left flabagasted,and wondered weather he'd had one to many or.................

[Lumpy]

As Lumpy started singing...........................

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A seed packet full,
Of Parsley,

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A water melon and a,
Packet of Parsley seeds

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
Blight proof tomatoes,
Water melons ripening,
And a packet of parsley seeds..........................................

The angel said ........................

[veggiechicken]

................put a sock innit, luv. You sounds just like Shen's bagpipes.................

[lottie dolly]

blessings to you all,be it on your own heads,the carol continued
on the 4 day of christmas
my true love gave to me
4 chickens clucking
blight proof tomatoes
water melons ripening
and pkt of parselt seeds ripening,
poor rary just stood ther rubing his head and thinking.....
then LD rubed her eyes and thought night all am off to me bed

[Lumpy]

Struth Doll you are a natural shouted an excited Lumpy............closely followed by...............

On the 5th day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
Perfect potatoes,
4 chickens clucking,
Blight proof tomatoes,
Water melons ripening,
And, a packet of parsley seeds..............................

This was the point when

[veggiechicken]

.............the wine glasses started shattering! Could you come down an octave Lumpy. That High C will be the ............

[rary]

Drowning us, oops sorry wrong sea, right lets get this place tidied uo, put up some decorations and a tree, who's delivering the tree by the way, or is Shen picking it up, and who is paying for it, I would but unfortunately I can't get to my money just now

[veggiechicken]

............but Jay and Lumpy have fiendish ways of making people reveal where their money is hidden Might be in your own interest to find some way of .................

[rary]

Avoiding them for a time

[Lumpy]

Ah Rary, there you are......I've been looking for you.

We need to discuss your plans for cleaning etc. As, elf and safety are involved there is a fee to be paid to I removed the fee from your hidden stash in the left hand corner of the compost bin...........I left all the other locations I found.........

As Rary collasped into a heap on the floor screaming...........

[veggiechicken]

..................That's not MY money - its from the charity collection for homeless panto animals. I put it away for safekeeping as I don't like having money in my pockets - Its not natural!
Lumpy spluttered and................

[Lumpy]

then looked very sternly at Rary.................you are a fibber young Rary because on the outside of one of your many purses were the initials S.R.F.B.A.D.C

After a quick look on the inter webby I found this page that was dedicated to the Save Rary From Buying A Drink Charity.........

At which point Lumpy vanished out of the door and after alot of hammering, banging and squelching came back with a huge pile of Rary's purses. Each one had the same S.R.F.B.A.D.C on them..........there you go now I have donated everything to the Home for Unwanted Panto Animals..................you will be getting your certificate to say Thank You for your generosity shortly........

With that Lumpy stomped off in a huff to......................

[rary]

You missed out the last letter and words S. R. F. B. A. D. C. P = Safe Refuge For Bad Actors Dodging Crap Pantos please give generously

[Lumpy]

to avoid Lumpy's idea of a Christmas Panto.

She had heard Rary say this from the slightly open window that overlooked the garde where she had been sitting in various out bursts of sun, rain, snow, hail and wind.

She decided that tonight she would have to tell everbody that the Panto was off.......not just because of distinct lack of enthusiasm but because all the Panto animals had got themselves jobs on a cruise liner touring Margate for the whole of the Christmas period....................not only that Rary's harsh words had bought home to her that................

[Sheneval]

..her days as a creative thingummyjig were numbered and she needed to move on to pastures new - perhaps Cinderella or the Sleeping Beauty would have appealed to rary rather than Jack and the Beanstalk as he certainly had an eye for the female figure which was only held in check by that truth that becomes known to all men - women cost money and rary as everyone knows..............