The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[Lumpy]

we who are not MOD's don't get invited shouted an irrate Lumpy who had just been woken up by Shen shouting about parties she had no chance of being.......

[Sheneval]

the belle of the ball as dancing was not he strong point although compared to Shen she could star in strictly as he was renowned for having.............

[Lumpy]

the funniest hokey cokey at any wedding reception.

Meanwhile, still in the corner Trigger (00T) was still recording the conversations.........Alf the Elf had been picking pockets all morning and both of them were astounded to find a beginners spy kit in....

[Sheneval]

VC's handbag despite the fact it is well known to be standard Mod equipment. Presumably VC had just failed to hand it in when her Mod Dom ended or perhaps...........

[Lumpy]

she was not VC at all but Matta Hen-ri the great grand daughter of the famous spy who used her charm and wit to..................

[Sheneval]

seduce other GR members to reveal their secrets such as............

[Lumpy]

the huge notice that had appeared on the GR door................Lumpy peered at it and then got her glasses out so she could read the small print.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! screamed Lumpy, who relied on the GR to get her over the normal Christmas traumas...................Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

The notice read -

Due to lack of customers the Gardeners Rest will be closing on Friday 16th Dec 2016. The owners are sorry for any distress caused but as the GR has very few visitors this year the money out goings do not meet the money incomings.

Signed

The Mod Owners

Lumpy went off into a dark corner of the compost loo and started to cry.................

[rary]

And here was me all ready to watch your panto, however as you say bravery many dropping in we need a spell of bad weather to fill the place up a bit

[Small pumpkin]

SP appears from the corner of the tardis, where she's been since the bar opened ( drinking, not chatting). Goes to find what all the commotion is about. After reading the note on the door goes to find lumpy ( not tricky just follow the wailing noses). After calming lumpy ( with a Slap ), approaches lumpy with a couple of observations. 1 get a bar maid that serves you the drink you asked for and put the money in the till not down her cleavage! There may not be many people here but the ones that are......hell CAN THEY DRINK!!!
2 if the creative director stopped threatening people with a panto more people might come and drink. SP heads back to the bar to do battle again with the bar maid for a pint of lager! And lumpy..........

[veggiechicken]

..........puts her head in her hands, squeezes a spot and puts her head back on her neck!
Blummin 'eck, Lumpy, that's a good party trick, do you do..............

[Lumpy]

in front of an audience asked Jack and Deano together?

Lumpy sat in the snug with her pint of brandy and mulled over what SP had said..............maybe she was right..............the lack of punters is all my fault as they are scared that I will ridicule them in a panto..........OH no I feel a snotty sneeze coming on.......................Tis Yoo!

But, I told everybody a few weeks ago that there would be no panto so why are they staying away.......all of a sudden a realisation wormed its way into Lumpy's brain cell..................it's me......it's me they............

[Sheneval]

apart from rary, don't like my trunk - they are trunkphobics the whole lot of them - I don't believe they have anything against the barmaid's cleavage especially my rary who would far rather she put the money.............

[veggiechicken]

..............in the collecting box for poor, redundant pantomime horses, especially the back ends as.............

[rary]

He had been considering filling that position with

[veggiechicken]

.........gusto but unfortunately, having eaten too many mince pies, rary's back end was.....................