The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[Lumpy]

a teapot at Shen................don't forget one bag for each of us and one for the pot.

Sorry, but until Lumpy creeps back in with all the drinkies from the weekend our stocks are limited......What's that Trigger.......................you saw a WHAT!

[Florence Fennel]

Must have been a pork pie. Pork pie all round unless ....

[veggiechicken]

..........you'd prefer a trilby which is less round and stays on in the wind coming from..........

[Florence Fennel]

the fan installed behind the bar in case rary needs resuscitation after buying a round. it was hence very rusty and ...

[rary]

I will have you know I bought a round?????? last yea no two year? no three yes three years ago so don't think I don't stand my round

[veggiechicken]

Was that the time you arrived early, before anyone else and were forced to buy yourself a drink - a round of one ............

[Lumpy]

mothful of slops sucked off the barmaids apron..........................Rary decided at that moment to stop being like the Dickensian scrouge and treat all of the GR's visitors to a drink on him.

He sent Trigger off to find the biggest and bestest goose in London town (a bit late but as they say .....) and then went towards the cellar where he intended to make sure that the stocks were adequate for his planned shin dig.

AS he peered into the darkness of the cellar from the top of the steps he heard a little voice say 'Rary, Rary you will be granted 3.............

[veggiechicken]

..........." 3 what???? You'll have to speak up, I've taken my hearing aid out so I can't hear.......

[Lumpy]

free what bellowed Rary.................free drinks, tree stumps, bee stings, flea bites..................what on earth are you talking about disembodied voice?

Who are you anyway?

Rary was not scared and he should have been because as the body behind the voice appeared in the bar................

[rary]

IT WAS Christmas past, no, no it was Veggichicken who had fallen asleep behind the bar on Christmas night, rary started to feel panic coming on, had he offered to buy drink for anyone at the bar? if so had She heard, he really needed to keep a record of any offers that were made while at the bar

[veggiechicken]

Rubbing her bleary eyes, VC whispered "Is it over? Is it quiet now? No more stress, hassle and arguments about Christmas and who is doing the washing up?
Rary, I promised you 3 things and here they are".
Extending her gnarled fingers with their soil encrusted nails, she waved 3 crumbling mince pies under rary's nose and said............

[Lumpy]

Hubble bubble trial and trouble,
Ta Rary I'll have a double,
I heard you say that you would pay,
..............................?

[rary]

That was supposed to be a treat
Now you offer old mince pies to eat
Yet when lying behind the bar
You never offered me a jar
But no matter here's a drink
Waters all you need I think
So my wallet stays tight shut
Poor VC she looked quite hurt
But rary being a real good sport
Poured her out a large dark port

[Lumpy]

Because you see,
That there was no one,
Quite like VC.

Hoi! Rary stop talking rhyme,
And buy me a drink,
As it's

................................?

[veggiechicken]

..................about the time,
I need to have a think;
Like Alice it may make me grow
Or Shrink, I just don't know.
Where is Shen, he's made of money,
I s'pose you think that's very funny.
One day................