The Gardeners Rest #11 ( 2016)

[Florence Fennel]

about this time of season
Shen spent his money while in More Reasons
So better shrink down my little Chick
so you can't be seen, rush rush quick quick
Or else you'll find .....

[veggiechicken]

.............there is no magic
Without a pointy stick

Flo, its good to see you, Hi,
What's in your hand? A slice of Pie!
Having eaten so much Pie of Pork
I'm surprised that you can walk,
Rest your legs, take a seat,
And we'll bring you a little treat.
Sherry, port, wine or beer,
Or anything that's not too dear.
Rary has promised that tonight's the night
.............

[Lumpy]

That his wallet will
Opened wide,
In attempt to swallow,
All Shens cash,
As he agreed,
To buy,
A round for those,
Without pork pies,
Thats me and me said many voices,
Including Trigger,
That sounds quite horsey,
Now, Rary go and dispense,
The Cash as we are waiting,
For.?

[rary]

And with a crash like the sound of thunder
That split the GR bar asunder
rary had placed his wallet there
And with a snap he pulled it open
After all the catch had broken

Let everyone enjoy a drink
I'm not as miserable as you think
Take what you want enjoy good cheer
After all its that time of year

FF stood there her mouth agape
Then placed the pies upon a plate
She let her self get in a state
As she rarely ventured beyond the gate
Then with a flourish she joined in
And put poor Shen in a spin
He turned and twisted and put on a show
He's quite a dancer I'll have you know
He picked up Lumpy for a dance
As she stood there in a trance
For now she really had a chance
To go and get her dream
She thought she was running out of time
To hold her festive PANTOMIME

[Lumpy]

Right, now you lot just stop it as all this rhyming is giving me trunk ache shouted a very grouchy Lumpy.

Rary, there will be no panto as you made it perfectly clear by becoming President of the APT (Anti Panto Team) that you were far too sophissicatted/ sofizzicatted/ shopizzicated.........posh and cultured to appear in such a production.

Trigger has started studying for a course in elementary hogwash (ing) so is not available.

VC is always ready to entertain but avian flu has meant that she has to wear a very unbecomming beak mask.

Flo can't be enticed away from the pork pies.

And, Shen has run off to join the...............................

[rary]

See scouts said Shen I could get them to do a job for a Bob (5 pence just did not sound right) but being ever frugal (he comes from Troon) he was willing to pay 5p per bag of seaweed and they could do that while he enjoys himself at the bar of the GR

[Florence Fennel]

Seaweed - is that for the cocktail hour? Make mine a large one and I'll share my pie......

[Lumpy]

Why did the sponge get all embarrassed?

Because it saw the sea weed

Said Lumpy who had completely lost the plot and was off to a retreat to get professional help for her...................

[Florence Fennel]

OCD Obsessive Composting Disorder and badjokeitis. Pass the .....

[rary]

Joke book to see if there are any new jokes for Lumpy please rary, and not that one that you use not that sky coloured one

[Lumpy]

said Flo as Lumpy, who was still waiting for the little ambulance with the yellow wheels to take her off to the 'retreat' started to tell more daft as a box of frogs jokes.................

Why did the pictur go to jail?
Because it was framd

Why do Dragons sleep all day?
So they can fight knights

Why did the banana go to the Doctors?
Because it was not peeling well.

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee somebody stop her shouted........

[rary]

Now Lumpy's jokes are a bit of fun
they can be viewed by everyone
but here's a poem for every fella
once women view it we could be in the cellar


SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

Its important to have a woman
who cooks and cleans and irons
and polishes all the chrome

its important to have a woman
who can make you laugh,
who`s adorable just to look at
and is good to photograph

its important to have a woman
who would never ever lie
one you would trust with your life
on whom you could rely

its important to have a woman
who has independent means
who is generous with her money
and wears the tightest jeans

its important to have a woman
who ensures your well fed
then takes you by the hand
and leads you up to bed

and its absolutely crucial
or the object you'll defeat
that these five women
never ever meet
author unknown

[Lumpy]

But what about an elephant giggled Lumpy who was.....................

[veggiechicken]

.......amused at the thought of rary, sharing his life with an elephant and trying to keep it a secret from the other 5 women that...........

[rary]

No VC I don't share with five other women the one I have fits all of that, and I dont/ can't keep secrets from her (what man in his right mind would try to keep a secret from five women)