Chatback #14

[rary]

Evening, was out a walk with one of the dogs earlier and got wet, took her out again a short time ago and a spit of rain and midges so nothing to say good about, we have the two dogs today and if you check one the other thinks she is getting into trouble, all shoes, bags and paper have to be moved out the pups way, along with my OH moaning about not being able to do anything I would be gray haired (if I had any) I am now in the bad books because said I had not noticed the difference but here`s something to cheer some of you up


After 35 years of marriage a husband and wife went for counselling
when asked what the problem was the wife started listing every problem they ever had over all the years of married life

On and on and on about neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire shopping list of unmet needs she had endured

Finaly, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient leangth of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The wqoman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said " This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this"

Well I can drop her off when passing Mondays and Wednesdays

But I have to be at the allotment early, Fridays

[Jay22]

That made me chuckle rary!

Just on to say have just looked outside and it's like a winters night! Misty...think that's the smirr and wet, definitely the smirr! It's chilly too, only 13 degrees according to the car thermometer today. Hopefully some sunshine tomorrow. Goodnight all, see you in the morning.

[Nicos]

Mornin n'alln'all

Errrrrr...where did the weekend go?

[Jay22]

Morning, it dry and bright this morning...can't believe there's no rain!

Went to bed last night and Son was just in from work. Was woken up with Harry dog barking at the top of his voice (voice?, well you know what I mean ) Ran down stairs thinking something was wrong, dog was wanting out, son...sound asleep on the couch!! How do you do that? He would sleep through an earthquake!.

Happy a Monday everyone!

[Nicos]

Ha!...Mornin Jay.
I was woken by the cows in the back field mooing!
Think the farmer has just added some more moms and their baby calves!
Too early to go out and check

[Jay22]

Nicos, I love animals but sometimes....! Sons don't fair any better some days either!

[Cadalot]

Morning Jay & Nicos and anyone else who follows.

Rary - loved the joke.

Mrs C and I went to a sex therapist and she asked did I ever talk to my wife when making love.
I said yes, if there is a phone in the room.

[Snoop Puss]

Mornin n'alln'all

Errrrrr...where did the weekend go?

Just what I was thinking. Trying to get some proofreading out of the way before a bit of gardening. Very cold night again, but who let the sun out so early?

Have a good Monday, whatever you get up to .

[sparrow100]

Morning all! Am up & attem for a day of fussing around with ponies - I've been talked into another shift with the RDA so that's 2 full days per week now. I plan on loading Mum's car with bags of manure in the lunch break (sssssshhhhh!).

Am crossing fingers Charlie gets at least a Silver Gilt from the judges today for Colour Box at Hampton Court - it's Press Day too so the internet will be alive with pictures of the gorgeous gardens.

Hope you all have a good day.

[Nannysally99]

Morning all, partly cloudy but still warm enough
Weekend of house chores (done slowly), so will be glad to get back to work.
Wouldn't have said that if I worked at a 'real' job I know.
I have lots of tomatoes, hoping to be a good crop - if they ripen
Anyhow, have a good day folks

[Florence Fennel]

Good Morning All Dull and warm here. Cheeky little day leave today. Have a good day

[veggiechicken]

Murky Monday - bit o'drizzle but the sun will be back later
I'm off to Fracture Clinic again with my neighbour and her poorly shoulder. Must try not to giggle this time
Went to Morries yesterday for my Sunday aftrnoon fix of yellow stickers. They'd reduced duoble cream to 9p and a lady, with young child in buggy thing, had multiple trays of cream balanced on top of the buggy.
As I approached, young child says "Mummy hide the cream", so I said,"Its OK I don't want any, its all your Mummy's".
Child lurches to her feet, bumps the trays of cream and off they went onto the floor. Lids burst open and cream squelching under everyone's feet
Right, that's it, I have to get ready for the hospital trip...........see ya later.!

[lottie dolly]

Morning all,thanks for the giggle's Rary and Cad,but mind you not trip up over the pointy stick,hehehehe,bet that wiped the smile off their faces VC,at first i thought it was another joke hehehehe,
If time goes any quicker we will fly of the earth,errr we do eventually.....................right am off to wake up and,and,and,think what i HAVE to do,ti's to much of a dirty word to say out loud,catch you later,have a good day all and enjoy

[bramble]

Good morning all. We have a mixture of weather, sunny and cloudy but its warm.
Looking after my two grandkids today so I will probably just potter in the garden.

[Snoop Puss]

Murky Monday - bit o'drizzle but the sun will be back later
I'm off to Fracture Clinic again with my neighbour and her poorly shoulder. Must try not to giggle this time
Went to Morries yesterday for my Sunday aftrnoon fix of yellow stickers. They'd reduced duoble cream to 9p and a lady, with young child in buggy thing, had multiple trays of cream balanced on top of the buggy.
As I approached, young child says "Mummy hide the cream", so I said,"Its OK I don't want any, its all your Mummy's".
Child lurches to her feet, bumps the trays of cream and off they went onto the floor. Lids burst open and cream squelching under everyone's feet
Right, that's it, I have to get ready for the hospital trip...........see ya later.!

If I was in your neighbour's position, I'd be glad of a giggle (unless it hurts, of course). Keep it up, I say!

And poor mum. Quintuple humiliation: looks greedy over the cream, shown up by child, everyone looking at her, all the staff running round having to clean up and then having to pay for it all (I'm guessing). Be a while before she bags the special offer cream again.