The Gardeners Rest #12 (2017)

[veggiechicken]

................ Walk out and take their custom to Weeder's Retreat down the road, where pets were allowed, even the Aloud ones.

VC stood up and drew herself to her full height. Peeking out from under GL's armpit she said "
Grapes, I implore you, join the Flumpy and Lumpy Activist's Brigade (The FLAB) and become a FLAB Fighter. We must protect these innocent cuddly elliefants from the MODs and their blackmail. The GR will close soon but the Ellies will live on.
Will you.................

[Lumpy]

help save both?


What VC didn't see was the giggling interweb trolls outside the window. They were absolutely chuffed to bits that their interweb furtling was going to cause so much trouble. The real Mods were going to be blamed for something they had not done.......................whey hey let the trouble commence.

VC, meanwhile was busy making badges that said 'Support Your Elephant' and 'I'm a FLABby' while the rest of the Grapes were trying to decide what was................

[Nicos]

....a shape rather resembling the Eiffel Tower...somewhere she'd always fancied going!

...and why not...tis Xmas!...so, totally unexpectedly, a group of about 12 Grapes suddenly decided there was the perfect place to spend Christmas!
Feeling very guilty about leaving all their extended families behind....the Tardis suddenly started whorring ....the crinkle of Xmas gifts started crinkiling....the empty glasses of red and white wine (and some champagne glasses) were held aloft ready to be charged....

Zzzdddzzz..xxxsss,,,hhhh"rrrdrr".......went the Tardis,....

[Snoop Puss]

when a voice piped up, "I do know it's bigger on the inside than the outside, but the top of the Eiffel Tower is a bit pointy. Do you think we'll be safe?"

Nobody had thought about this. Suddenly, it didn't seem quite such a good idea. Perhaps they ought to...

[veggiechicken]

...........take the money and open the box
At the mention of money, rary was there in a flash.
Wheres my share? he whined, I need some money to buy you all a..................

[Snoop Puss]

gift.

Everybody liked the sound of this idea. By now the Tardis had stopped. They peeked out the door and much to their relief, they were not perched on top of the Eiffel Tower like Snoop had been on the Christmas tree. Instead, they were nicely tucked in underneath. The only problem was...

[rary]

.............Its no good asking me how to celebrate a birthday, I stopped having them when I was 21, that's about 10 years ago, rary, and I haven't aged a bit since then.

It suddenly struck rary, what VC had said, with all the dancing and cavorting about it had almost passed him by, VC must have been born on the 29th of February, and a year to her was 4 to a normal peson, or possibly born in a leap year and still counts 4 as 1 so next year to VC will be her 32nd. birthday which makes her 128 wow, you have to respect someone as old as that, I never thought she was that age, thought rary,,,,,,, I thought she was a lot older

[veggiechicken]

................the only problem was rary, he's always about 10 posts behind everyone else. Of course, everyone made allowances for him, he was so old and doddery.

"Yes rary, that's right" said VC gently "I'm 128 and you are.........." and she looked him up and down and tried to stifle a giggle as she said "a mere 21" and then collapsed with laughter clutching her sides, tears rolling down her cheeks.
Rary looked very pleased with himself and he sauntered over to the Tardis, which was upside down and rocking from side to side.
We need an engineer, he mumbled, one of those iron clad ones that can fall asleep inside their suits and remain upright. Where can we find one as they're as rare as................

[rary]

Cash in my pocket, but wait is Cad not from an engineering background, and he sleeps in that iron suit of his and as long as he doesn't find any oil he will stay up right

[Lumpy]

and be able to fix the inter dimensional drive on the tardis so everyone inside can get back to the GR in time for..................

[Snoop Puss]

the next round of drinks which, Rary said, would be on him. After all, if they got back to the GR, it would be such a massive relief he'd be glad to do the honours. And if they didn't, well, he'd be glad not to pay. So either way, he was quids in. VC started to say that he wouldn't be quids in, he'd be quids out, but Lumpy butted in to keep the peace and pointed out that before that, Cadalot would have to...

[Deano's "Diggin It"]

Get out his soldering iron and unweld Rary's wallet so the round he was duly getting could actually be paid for

But "Hang on" said Rary, "That's just"...................

[Snoop Puss]

"getting ahead of ourselves. First of all, we have to get Cadalot to fix the Tardis. Has anyone seen Baldy? I'm sure he could lend a hand."

VC started to make comments about Rary and the word 'lend'. But thought better of it. After all, Rary wasn't wrong. The Tardis had to be fixed first.

She opened her capacious handbag and rummaged around. With all those mad plans and projects of hers, she was bound to have some kind of handy tool in there. In fact, come to think of it, her handbag was a bit like the Tardis. Bigger on the inside than the outside. Maybe she was to become a new incarnation of the Doctor herself... She started to get a bit carried away with these ideas, but was brought back to reality by...

[Nicos]

A big, red juicy apple....

[Lumpy]

shaped man with a big white beard ran into..................