The Gardeners Rest #12 (2017)

[Lumpy]

A little later Rary popped back in to see who was about and the bar was heaving (as if). This is it he thought my chance to let people see how generous I am.

Remembering that LD had asked and Janie might be interested in a glass of lovely water he shouted at the top of his voice 'bar keep two fresh waters in clean glasses if you please for the ladies at the end of th bar'

Rary turned his back and started chatting to GL and Cad about the difficulties of training a slug to dance when he heard a quiet you hoo behind him.

He ignored it until he heard you hoo Mr Rary.

The barman was standing right behind him with his hand out.....................

Erm what do you want barkeep?

£4.80 please sir..........................Rary fainted. After applying VC's smelling salt he was with it enough to be told that the GR had no clean drinking water....it was all bottled.

It came from a little spring in out hinterland and was packaged by retired clowns......it was £2.40 a bottle and he had ordered two.

Cad, GL, Mothawk and Balders fell off their stools barely able to breathe through laughing whilst Rary................

[Nicos]

....crawling on his hands and knees...

[veggiechicken]

started scrabbling behind the old settle beside the log fire, muttering about hearing something tinkling on the floor.............."Oops sorry Nicos, pull your skirt down, the toilet's out in the yard" and he backed out, red-faced and plonked himself down on the well padded, sofa, hand extended, down between the cushions, having a furtle.

"Oy, rary, shouted Lottie Dolly, they're not cushions, they're my.............

[Lumpy]

thermal support wellies and you won't find money in them.

With a howl Rary stood up and faced the barman. It was like a scene from an old western movie where two gunfighters were getting ready to draw on each other.

With great style he took his sporran key from its hiding place in his vest and started to open.........

[veggiechicken]

.............the first of the 12 locks that protected his valuables from prying hands. It was like opening an advent calendar, only one lock could be opened each day and you never knew what was inside.
Slowly, the first lock creaked apart, and revealed............

[lottie dolly]

Nuts for BM's challenge last year,only ....................................

[rary]

I hope it's not French hens after meeting Nicos like that thought rary, but to his great relief it was.....

[lottie dolly]

His long lost purse of money,he had put it there for safe keeping,then forgot about it till ................

[Lumpy]

all the coins inside were so old they were no longer legal. Mind you the archeologists would have a field day ferreting through Rary's under purses.

So, how was Rary going to pay for the drinks?

Maybe he could work the debt off by doing.................

[veggiechicken]

........some busking in the cold night air outside the rival pub the other side of the village green. that would drive everyone away and into the GR.

What sort of busking can rary do? pondered VC. Maybe he could............

[Lumpy]

dress up like a shark and make out he's basking instead. (Ah cryptic)

We could hire him out as a 'male' dancer.anyone got any..................

[Greenleaves]

Better cryptics than Lumpy, said........

[lottie dolly]

a voice deep in the cellar,it shook the building,and everyone wondered what it was,just the ...............................

[rary]

Very thing I was looking for said the voice, I have been searching for those old coins since last year, they are so rare, and worth a fortune, now who do they belong to I will pay a lot for them

[lottie dolly]

Well the whole of the GR fell silent for a few seconds before erupting into histericle laughter.......................................................