The Gardeners Rest #12 (2017)

[Lumpy]

in a very decorative fashion all over Nicos'.....................

[veggiechicken]

.........Festive sweater, which was covered in cute robins, spiky holly and slobbery mistletoe - not to mention all the jingle bells that were becoming just a wee bit irritating.
What's the matter?" Nicos asked frequently to the glaring grumpy Grapes.
"Its the Bells, the bladdy bells"
Ah said rary, Now you're talking, but can I have a Malt instead please..............
and Nicos................

[Lumpy]

threw the malt loaf she had been saving for a secret midnight snack at Rary which bounced off his head, boinged off Cad's breastplate, twanged off Lotties curlers (she was going to a posh do later), binged off Deano's wellie and wedged itself....................

[Nicos]

...inside the outlet pipe of what looked like Snoop's solar water pump....

[veggiechicken]

...........but it wasn't - fortunately for Snoop. It was the inlet for topping up the beer kegs (is there such a thing??) Anyway, in the GR anything is possible, The malt loaf gradually broke down into little soggy crumbs which trickled down into the beer kegs - and started a secondary fermentation!
From the cellar, strange bubbling noises could be heard!
Shall we open the cellar door and should we.............

[Lumpy]

Investigate said Flo? By all means let me go first said a surprisingly polite Flumpy.

He wobbled down the rickety stairs into the dark dampness of the cellar and walked towards the bubbling sounds.

Up in the bar some of the regulars were playing pass the parcel to see who would go into the cellar as well.

After several rounds and lots of squabbling Snoop, Cad and Lottie were volunteered.

As Snoop put her foot on the top step she was nearly flattened by Flumpy who was.........

[Snoop Puss]

In a hurry. "Quick, quick. We'd better get out sharpish. It's going to blow!", Flumpy said, less calm than he had been earlier.

Fret not, said Cadalot. For he thought that he really ought to do something. "I've got my screwdriver, I'll come up with something." For secretly he thought he, like VC, could be another incarnation of the Doctor and that his screwdriver could pass a Sonic Screwdriver.

He went down the stairs, careful not to switch on the light, in case it caused a gas explosion. And using his trusty screwdriver, he...

[veggiechicken]

....gingerly inserted it into the spigot.
Turning it slightly to the left. he expected to have a satisfying hiss................but nothing happened. The bubbling noises grew louder and steam started to rise from behind the barrels, could it be..............

[Snoop Puss]

that in fact it was not the crumbs that were causing a secondary fermentation but Thelma Saunders' homemade Christmas Panettone that was growing out of control?...

[Lumpy]

threatening to explode into a glorious mass of yumminess and................

[Snoop Puss]

goo. It would be much better baked, though, Cadalot thought.

But what could be used as an oven? And what temperature do you cook panettone at? "Anyone up there a baker?" he shouted to all the Grapes huddling at the door.

[Lumpy]

We have loads of brilliant bakers but I’ve actually had an idea.

There were gasps of amazement at the thought of Lumpy having an idea but they were desperate to find out what it was.

How about we all pile into the Tardis and come back when the ‘blob’ is ready. I’ll have a go at the controls as I’m sure the beeb would be happy to have a time lord phant.

What do you all........

[veggiechicken]

.................Come back, come back, I did pass my driving test..................I'm fully licensed to push a wheelbarrow on the roads and to.............

[Snoop Puss]

Everyone was amazed! VC was off tangentising, but did she maybe have an idea too? It looked like there were now two strategies: Lump wanting to have a go at flying the Tardis versus VC pushing a wheelbarrow.

"We need a drink to help us sort this out", said Rary.

Cadalot tended to agree, so long as he wasn't in the vicinity of the Blob for much longer. He didn't want to be down there when it went boom.

On the other hand, maybe it wouldn't. The tearing noise he could suddenly hear suggested the paper mould was pulling apart. That meant the panettone was splurging out rather than expanding upwards. He had to get up those stairs quick before he got sucked in...

[veggiechicken]

(As ever, VC had been misunderstood - Lumpy was wheelbarrow street legal. VC had flown the Tardis many times in her past lives) - however, moving on, the Blob was oozing up the stairs and had already squelched around Cad's heavy metal boots.
"Lumpy, Flumpy, here quickly" shouted Snoop. "Wrap your trunks around Cad's sticky out bits and puuuuuuuuuuuuullllllll."
Leaning back on their haunches, Lumpy and Flumpy ..............