The Gardeners Rest #12 (2017)

[rary]

magic, perhaps they could make me a drink, trying to get a drink out of you lot, is like trying to get blood out of a stone

[Lumpy]

moaned Janie who stared forlornly into her teacup.

Pulling herself together she said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear 'Right, the way I see it is that we have several problems at the moment'

First, we are still in the Tardis and have no idea how to get back to the GR. Deano, Rary stop waving your arms in the air saying that you can do it. You tried and didn't.

Second, the Master is lurking in here somewhere no doubt plotting something against us.

Third, who is the Doctor?

Fourth, the 'blob' is getting bigger

Fifth, we don't have a bar.

Sixth.............................but by then everyone had stopped listening at no 5.

Finally, after finishing number 71 she said quite correctly 'and so folks we have problems. Now how are we.............................

and Lumpy, on hearing the word 'we' started walking with her knees clamped together towards the................

[Snoop Puss]

door. The others watched her. All except the new Grape.

"Don't go", pleaded the Master. "I don't mean you any harm at all. I'm having such fun with you lot. Much better than being out there on my own. And the tea was lovely, whatever Rary says. Plus, I once had a go in the Tardis on my own. I know, I know. I shouldn't have stolen it. But at least it means I now know how it works."

The others looked at him. What were they to make of this new development.

More to the point, could the Master be trusted?

[Cadalot]

Which was an ironic question because he or she was and always has been evil and wanted to control mankind, but here was the kicker these days we have to refer to mankind as the human race.

Just what evil plan did the Master have up his/her sleeve, was/ he/she it, responsible for all the political correctness that had developed in the world over the last one hundred years, as it a plan to prevent plain communication and to encourage people to become offended on behalf of others, who 9 times out of 10 weren't actually offended themselves in the first place, and now the Doctor was also female could she come back to her Tardis and get all the Grapes back to the GR safely?.

The answer was NO because she was floating outside the Tardis stuck in limbo until Autumn 2018 !

So who was going to save the day?.......

[rary]

Seriously, said rary, if you can get me/us back to the GR I will buy everyone a drink, so come on get your finger out and get some manpower into this

[Snoop Puss]

The Master, who, given his name, had quite clear ideas about how he should be addressed or referred to, heartily concurred with Rary.

He thought about raising the whole pronoun issue, but thought better of it. After all, it would only lead back to discussions about the Blob and whether it had a gender, when what they needed to do was get away from it.

"Listen", he said. "I know I'm not trustworthy. And I'm certainly not going to promise to be a good boy from now till the end of time. But from now till the end of the year, you can rely on me. After all, it's in my interest too. So, what do you think?"

[Lumpy]

Erm nope not a chance muttered Lumpy who was watching Flumpy sneakily pulling a long knotted ribbon out of the Masters coat pocket.

As the end of the ribbon dropped onto the floor everyone saw that there was a small box attached and on the top was a ?

So, thought VC what is in the box. Could it be another clue to Rary Hood's treasure or is it ..............

[JanieB]

the Sonic Screwdriver! The thought of Rary actually buying a round had concentrated everyone's minds so they put their, now sober, minds together and....

[Cadalot]

came up with absolutely nothing! each of the grapes looked at each other in turn looking for the Eureka moment on someone's face when suddenly...


(Rary surly you mean "personpower" LOL )

[Nicos]

...closed their eyes...clicked their heels together....

[veggiechicken]

..........and started to dance. Join hands and we'll do some circle dancing. If we dance fast enough, we'll make everyone giddy and we'll fall over - just as we do when we've drunk too much. Who needs the GR anyway? ..........

[Nicos]

Deano suddenly noticed his feet had started to glow....

[Lumpy]

as he performed a very good version of the hot shoe shuffle.

They got brighter and brighter with the left one a very vibrant orange and the right one a stunning shade of puce.

Oh no shouted the Master now you have gone and done it - the Tardis thinks that your feet are.........

[Cadalot]

regenerating and now it's going to get all upset as it's only just got used to the current doctor as they don't have the staying power of the earlier doctors, and it really does not like the regeneration process at all !

[Lumpy]

because it never knows what or who its...................