just for fun - alternative definitions

[bikermike]

any phrase, with a revised definition - hope this is allowed

"forced rhubarb" - garden produce given without the option to say no by the recipient

"raised bed" - orthopedic sleeping device favoured by those whose backs have given out after too much digging

[chris_m]

"greenhouse" - a glasshouse that's desperately in need of cleaning.

[bikermike]

deep digging - really like, liking, your allotment maaaaaan

[Miss Mousetrousers]

Windbreak - usually from eating too many sprouts.

[Nicos]

Bolting....run away, run away...

[Philthy]

Blue Tits - the allotment in winter.
Great Tits - the allotment in summer.

[bikermike]

Propagator - Essex term of approval for a large crocodile-shaped animal

[Bill Door]

Fork - colloquial expression when you hurt yourself

Hoe - colloquial expression when you are about to hurt someone else.

Shovel - what you do when you see someone else going to hurt someone else

propagate - colloquial expression when you chat over the fence

Bill

[veggiechicken]

Seed - past tense of verb "to see"

A Polytunnel - One of many tunnels

Sowing - attaching seeds (cf sequins) with a needle and cotton

Harvest - garment worn whilst picking crops

trug - summat you trip over

[Mr Bones]

Spring crop - first hair cut after a particularly cold winter.
Second crop - subsequent visit to a barber after the first one messed up.

[Greenleaves]

^^^Transplanting....when the barber really messed up!

[veggiechicken]

Raspberry - something to blow

Pear - two fruits

Chilli - this time of year

Snail - needs a Shammer

Planter - short form of "having a plan to"

[Greenleaves]

Garlic.... Strange kind of football played in Ireland

[bikermike]

"easy to grow" - will take over your plot. and next doors. may have been grafted onto bindweed
"professional quality" - will not grow until you show it a defra subsidy
"regular fruiting" - you will hate the taste of this by mid-summer
"for the enthusiast" - you are not worthy. even the expert on the allotment has given up on this...

[bikermike]

^^^Transplanting....when the barber really messed up!

regular cropping - is on first-name terms with barber...