Funny things that kids say!

[Flummery]

I own (and can use) a spinning wheel and took it into school to demonstrate to the children how we get wool from a sheep's fleece. They were fascinated, had a go at some of the processes and wrote about it. I noticed later that one child had her work on the wall - it read 'Mrs Middleton was sinning in the hall' - It was a church school - raised eyebrows from the parish priest no doubt!

[yoanbob]

when I was 3 I went into my parents bedroom with a red face, obviously in discomfort and holding my ear, mummy I said, I think i've got dia ear

[JennieAtkinson]

Flummery and the spinning wheel reminded me of the time when I played Sleeping Beauty, absolutely eons ago when I was young and it got to the bit in the panto, when its "shall i touch the wheel, etc. etc." and the kids were all screaming NO!. Until eventually the chap on the drums gave a huge wallop on the cymbol and I made a great effort collapsing on the stage and falling asleep.

At which point a lovely little child in the audience said - "We told you, you silly b****h"

Mind you another night my own child was heard to say "Oh no that's my Mum!"

[Rowan]

A few from my nephew (Luca, 4 and a half) and niece (Jasmine, 3).
Luca filled a toy car which he said was a tractor, with petrol. "I need 180,000." Me: "180,000 what?" Luca: "Millilitres." Later, he made an imaginary cake, and decorated it with "Chocolate sprinkles and black pepper." We all declined a slice. Their mum, Laura, was trying to get Jasmine to tell us she'd seen a rabbit: "What did we see hopping on the grass?" Jasmine, in confused tones, "Daddy?"
When my friend's daughter had just started school, I was playing with her after hometime. Being very tired, she was a bit cross. We played shops: I was shopkeeper. Lizzy knocked on the door. Me, gently, "You don't have to knock on a shop door." Lizzy, now very cross: "Yes I do! It's a knocking shop!" Of course, her mother and I creased, which only made her crosser.
Five-year-old in library, looking around her: "I don't think this one's a virgin." Turned out she meant "I believe this building to be quite old"!

[Two_Sheds]

My 2 year old nephew came out with "Boll0ck" the other day, spoken quite seriously but to no one in particular, in the middle of Somerfield. I think he was just trying the word out. Of course we shouldn't have cracked up laughing, but what can you do?

He has this habit at the moment of not holding your hand while walking, always trying to slip away from you. Going thru busy town the other week, I took his hand firmly in mine, and he very loudly starting yelling "ow, ow, ow" like I was really really hurting him. Demon child.

[g51065]

We decided to play a board game and were discusing the playing order and for a joke I sed we would go in order of thickest to cleverest, to which our nine year old daughter piped up..ME FIRST....!

[muckdiva]

Great thread, such a laugh reading these. Not long ago my daughter, 7, watched an episode of the Vicar of Dibley and insisted on repeating a little ditty sung by the character Hugo to anyone she spoke to afterward.

The rhyme was something like (if memory serves me):

When it's dark and stormy and you're feeling a little sick,
tuck up nice and warmly and play with your little D**k

It was hilarious on the programme, but less so when I had to explain to granny and assembled company where she'd come by these choice words!