Unwanted Advice - How do you deal with it?

[Pootle]

I'm not being mean or ungrateful but I'm slightly fed up with our allotment time being taken up by other allotmenteers offering us the benefit of their wisdom. They assume that because we're younger, have just got our allotment and are doing things differently that we don't know what we're doing. And they always seem to target us just as we get going on something!

Has anyone got any (polite) ideas of how we can discourage this unwanted advice without alienating people whose minds we might want to pick at a later date?

And how do you handle the doom-mongers too?

[carlseawolf]

grow bigger better veg and then let them tell you about there's

[jacob marley]

What you want is big ear muffs with earphones in them and a music system on you waist band and then when approached you can what we call in the midlands COCK A DEAF'UN you have to be hard faced about it though jacob

[Polly Fouracre]

"Listen" as you weed,dig etc. Or pass them a hoe,then "listen" as they talk!!

[sez]

I've noticed this too - being 24 and female the old blokes love to come give me advice, assuming I don't have a clue ('you might want to clear all that broken glass off your beds'... REALLY?! ), and inevitably wants to stand and chat for 3 hours when I'm trying to get on. Don't get me wrong, I do like to chat and make friends, but they're retired and have all the time in the world, I have a full time job and a plot to get ready for planting time!

On the other hand the plot holder opposite to me is lovely, friendly without being overpowering, lets me get on with it and gives sound advice (ie, there's rabbits in the area) without assuming I'm an idiot. He also realises I have limited time so is supportive of what I've got done rather than commenting that I need to get on with it!

[Paulottie]

I guess it is a difficult one. Part of allotments is making friends and you will be missing out if you don't and sharing stuff. One of the most amusing things is how so much of the advice is completely contradictory. They will take a newbie under their wing and lend you things give you plants etc. Often if they are older you will find that they have more time available to them than you.

(no personal comment) but they will find the next new kid in town more interesting and will soon realise if you know what you are doing.

There is a lot of sense in Carl's and Polly comments about

• giving them back better veg than theirs/winning the show
• keeping going while they talk
• going with it and roping them in to help

[mrs dog]

You should be pleased that they are coming to speak to you. Not all allotments are as friendly and that is part of the reason for being amongst others. This is the only time some of them will see people to chat to. Rant over! On ours they just steal your stuff.

[Vegmonkey]

Or, you could wander over to the annoying ones and turn the tables on them by offering them the depth of your wisdom...that way they will probably get the message! If that's what you want. Or maybe write down what they are saying in bullet points on a blackboard, that might encourage them to slim down what tehy are saying.

Doi you think that will be you in 40 years though?

[Two_Sheds]

It's lovely when people stop and chat, but these days I don't have the time. I always wave hello and goodbye though, I'm not totally unfriendly.
On my new plot, a lot of old fellas have recently been up and said things like "do you think you'll keep it up then; you're having a go, are ya?" and so on. I may be a littl'un, but I've been allotmenting for 13 years
I don't say anything, just nod and smile in the appropriate places and carry on. I also wear a radio with earphones, so if I want to be 'alone' I just plug myself in and they usually get the message without being offended.

[jacob marley]

What we do is when new people take on a plot we tell them information is free do not be afraid to ask some do some dont but the offer is there when they start it is up to them .
But they might be dirty old men try to look down your cleavage so be carefull what you dress in jacob

[Pootle]

Thanks everyone - its good to know its not just me! I appreciate the advice we're getting on site, but if I get the 'how to make compost' lecture one more time I might just scream!!

Its not quite as bad as the parenting advice though !

And luckily it hasn't been the men checking out my cleavage - its been the more mature ladies trying to chat my OH up (he's running scared now ha ha)

[Snadger]

If you don't need their advice you must be knowlegeable. If you're knowledgeable it will show in how you garden, and they'll leave you alone!

When a few of the old guys want a chat, especially when I have limited time to get things done, I'll pass the time of day and just say " Ah well, I'm just gunna make hay while the Sun shines" and then get back to whatever I was doing.

It can be helpful to be chatty to a point though as sometimes I mention things I need in passing and find them outside my greenhouse door the next day!

[MrsBond]

There is a very harsh advice service which reads "the best advice is no advice" meaning you know it all and need to know no more (or that you are willing to live with your own mistakes and will learn by them!)

Don't stop working for the well meaned advice, but don't let it slip from your memory either, as it could very well come in handy later!

Good luck with the well meaning oldies, they do hold some good advice which may take a while to filter out, but it is this advice that has produced their favourable crops for many years running in the same setting that you are!

New and old ideas and methods is what brings us in to the present, but we all play our part and we all have to live with what nature gives us. There is a part to play for everyone, no matter what their persuasion!

Good luck and kind regards

MrsB x

[Nicos]

I'm with MrsBond with this one- ANY advice is useful- there are so many different ways to approach the same job.
Interestingly , you should listen to those on your site in that if they've been there for a while, then they'll have got to know the soil , pests , and microclimate, so their advice will have some sound foundations.
You can then choose to ignore their advice if you wish- but hold onto the idea!
We've had 2 very different sites in the past.
Our first one was cold, very heavy clay and our present one is light( or waterlogged )acidic peat.
A lot of what we learned from trial and error on the first allotment site just didn't work for the peat site, and thankfully our neighbours were able to put us right through their own failures.
I just said things like " Gosh there are so many different ways of doing the same job- thanks I'll bear that in mind"
and " Oh - that sounds a good way- I'm just doing it this way this year so it'll be interesting to see if it works as well/your way is easier " etc etc
We were the first to have raised beds and you could see the 'oldies' to the site- retired farmers in their 80's- raising their eyebrows at wasting so much land to pathways and paying for wood to do the beds!
- No wonder our ears were burning!!
I have to say they were right about certain crops doing badly - but we have proved them wrong with others.
Interestingly they had no idea about some of the 'modern/foreign' veg we were growing and just couldn't understand why we didn't need 30 rows of spuds for the family ( rice/pasta/cous cous/quineoa etc jumps to mind instead with a meal!!)
Also organic growing brought a few smug grins to their faces too!

They're just trying to be helpful- maybe just not in the way you'd prefer!!

Doom-mongers...shoot them!

[HeyWayne]

Grow until you're 6ft 7. Nobody comes and talks to you then.