Allotment etiquette

[Birdie Wife]

Well said, stickle. And welcome to the Vine!

[Shortie]

Sticklebricks - I could do with that kind of diplomacy sometimes when I talk to my boss. Well said

Welcome too

[Snadger]

Well Snadger, I have lots of jobs that you could have
#1 security guard, ok not suitable you will let people walk on the allotments ect
#2 you could be a slave but I think you will be scared of doing some real work

If you really wanted a job Pm me

Dear Adam,

I would like to formally cancel my job applixcation as Mrs Snadger and I have talked this over and....."I can lay bricks! I can do dat" "SHUTUP YOSSER" phew... Sorry about that it was just my alto-ego kicking in as I am a bit short on medication today. Got some off Jack Douglas WEEEEA-HEY but I haven't taken it yet WEA- HEY! I digress, anyway, I know my job application was a bit long-winded and detailed and I hope you have had time to read it (Giss a job)

I must admit I was very tempted by the slaves position on offer (do they still get paid one bowl of gruel per day?) but the manacles tend to chaif my tender arms. By the way, I can get you a good deal on 'Leg Irons' if you are interested? Another little 'Trade' tip is for to put a bit of salt on the tips of the whips. That way wounds heal much quicker allowing you to whip more often. Nothing like a good flogging, is there?

The security position was tempting as well because there is a security aspect to my present job as 'Chief Seatwarmer"...GET OFF MY SEAT!..Sorry about that Adam you just can't get the staff these days. I worked my way up from Apprentice Seatwarmer to Skilled Seatwarmer and finally 'Chief' . If I stay where I am at I could possibly make 'Seatwarming Director'....Snadger Seatwarming Director!!!..has a sort of ring to it, don't you agree? I honestly can't see why you would require extra Security men anyway, are the gun turrets in the corners of the field not working as planned?

Yours Sincerely

Snadger

Note to site Administraters:- All the above is tongue-in-cheek and hopefully should be read as such.

I have a lot of respect for Adam who speaks his mind.(I put it down to youthful exuberance, but I could be wrong, I suppose he could be a Chelsea Pensioner...)..rather that than talk behind ones back. I also have a soft spot for Adam, a swamp in....Sorry blame Yosser for that!!

Even though the job request was a sham, Adam was ready to help out a fellow human being (sounds like a school report) and this just goes to show their is hope for all us idiots!

In the words of the late, great Kenny Everet " Its all done in the best paaaaasable taste!

Snadger

[Snadger]

Snadger and Adam - read this!!!

Right guys could I please ask for a cease fire between you to. Thanks!

I've ceased firing...in fact my gun barrel has melted!

[Lesley Jay]

Snadger glad to hear it!

Adam leave it now - no more please!!!!

[number 1 suspect]

Im glad that all of this was discussed in an adult way with point and counterpoint debated with good backup to each part of the argument made. Its been nice that so many people have taken the time to help in this very sensitive issue.............Sorry, what was the original question?????? :-)

[snohare]

Please, for God's sake, don't ask - we might get a re-run !

[Nicos]

OK ..so the conclusion from this heated moot is .....every one to their own then!!!?
Just goes to show that everyone's expectations are different!
Good to hear everyone's views, and I think we have all learned from this discussion!!

Glad we can all view our ideas...
Maybe the etiquette of our plots is that we should be sensitive to our neighbour's irritations????

All this cultivation should be fun and educational, so with a bit of understanding /tolerance and understanding of our neighbours, we should all have a place of recluce from our irritating suburban neighbours???

[number 1 suspect]

As an end to my side of it. I have just taken delivery of 600 meters of razor wire, same in electric fencing equipment. Have installed fixed line machine guns and the war dogs are on order :-) can anybody put me onto a good antipersonel mine supplier?????
g'night all
:-)

[User Removed]

OK Lesley my Guns are down -for now
Sorry #1 suspect but it is company policy not to give our suppliers away

[big fiona]

Crikey, this seems to have touched a few nerves! I have a lottie neighbour who used to share her plot and gradually encroached by planting all her stuff on her fellow alloter's space. She eventually drove her away and acquired the whole plot. Now, I'm having a similar problem. She keeps planting seeds on pieces of ground that I have cleared with specific plans in mind. I only notice when strange things start sprouting and I'm scratching my head and wondering if I'm developing Alzheimers. She will admit to it, without any sense of embarrassment or idea that she has done anything wrong. I have had a gentle word but I'll just have to see what she gets up to next Spring. i think one cannot just ignore this sort of stuff, it has to be tackled one way or another.

Cheers everyone.

Big Fiona

[seasprout]

erm...

Can you all remind me again.. why is it a good idea for me to try to get an allotment..?

[Mrs Dobby]

Crikey, this seems to have touched a few nerves! I have a lottie neighbour who used to share her plot and gradually encroached by planting all her stuff on her fellow alloter's space. She eventually drove her away and acquired the whole plot. Now, I'm having a similar problem. She keeps planting seeds on pieces of ground that I have cleared with specific plans in mind. I only notice when strange things start sprouting and I'm scratching my head and wondering if I'm developing Alzheimers. She will admit to it, without any sense of embarrassment or idea that she has done anything wrong. I have had a gentle word but I'll just have to see what she gets up to next Spring. i think one cannot just ignore this sort of stuff, it has to be tackled one way or another.

Cheers everyone.

Big Fiona

If she does it again then why not try saying somehting along the lines of

'Well, I've just noticed you've planted me some extra crops on my plot, thankyou very much for buying the seeds and growing them for me, its such a thoughfull gift for a plot neighbour! I will think of you as I tuck into them when they are ready for harvesting!'

Then make sure you DO harvest them as soon as they are edible, stopping her from being able to get any benefit from produce growing on your plot!

Dont know if it will work, but its got to be worth a go!

[HappyMouffe]

I like your thinking, Mrs D!

[Snadger]

Crikey, this seems to have touched a few nerves! I have a lottie neighbour who used to share her plot and gradually encroached by planting all her stuff on her fellow alloter's space. She eventually drove her away and acquired the whole plot. Now, I'm having a similar problem. She keeps planting seeds on pieces of ground that I have cleared with specific plans in mind. I only notice when strange things start sprouting and I'm scratching my head and wondering if I'm developing Alzheimers. She will admit to it, without any sense of embarrassment or idea that she has done anything wrong. I have had a gentle word but I'll just have to see what she gets up to next Spring. i think one cannot just ignore this sort of stuff, it has to be tackled one way or another.

Cheers everyone.

Big Fiona

Can I ask what your gentle word consisted of and what her reply was, without wanting to instigate part deu of this thread!