Absolute newbie in need of desperate help! Weeds weeds weeds...

[Two_Sheds]

dig all the weeds out - I think I'll give it a go ...I am keen to try then covering to prevent the light

Other way round: cover them up with your mulch (which will kill or weaken the weeds), then dig out the remainder before you plant (it's easier that way)

can I ask where exactly you get mulch from

Mulch means a light-excluding blanket for your soil. It can be wet newspaper, cardboard or membrane from the garden centre

'daleks'?

Those black plastic compost bins that look like ... daleks

[taff]

also mulch can be a very thick layer of anything organic, weed leaves/straw/manure/shavings/bark chippings.

[snohare]

Make sure you don't buy el cheapo weed membrane from Poundland or the like, it doesn't do what it says in the tin - in fact, I have used it over plants as a heat retaining fleece in the past, it lets in so much light !
Having just moved, hopefully you have still got some decent sized boxes left. Was I you, I'd put one down next to an area you want to dig.(Preferably on top of a layer of newspapers, this encourages worms to feed.) Throw the crap onto it as you remove. Once finished, do with the weeds as previously suggested, leave the stones to weigh the cardboard down. Start on the other side...repeat as needed...remove as you want to expand the growing area. Doing small manageable sections is easy - digging a whole garden without splitting it up is like trying to eat the whole banquet table at once !
I have to say, Glyphosate does work, it is wonderfully convenient; however you might struggle to get a windless, dry enough day to do it, you can't spray if it is going to rain.
From a toxicological point of view, the road to Hell is paved with convenient chemicals. Glyphosate's main strikes against it are the finding that the carrier oil it is chemically attached to is itself toxic, and the research showing that glyphosate kills plants by upsetting their ability to fight against diseases. So it may encourage disease build up that way. What other nasty facts have not been discovered/published as yet, remains to be seen. (I wouldn't trust any major agrochemical multinational as far as I could throw their stockholder's report.)
Me, I know of a lot of immunological disorders of unknown causation where the tales of abnormal immune system response or deformed blood cells etc ring eerily similar bells to safety data on various pesticides, all once deemed "absolutely safe". Take my word for it, it isn't worth the risk.
Was I you, I might think - where's the hurry ? Where's my cuppa ?
Start as you mean to go on...it will be fun, not just hard work.

[endymion]

I'm going to use a different approach to everybody else

I think you should draw a plan of your garden and work out what you want to have where - a basic design. You ca

[endymion]

I'm going to use a different approach to everybody else

I think you should draw a plan of your garden and work out what you want to have where - a basic design. You can get loads ideas from the internet, from magazines or books in the library and from looking at photos of other people's gardens either on here or on Flickr.

I think you need to ask yourself if you want a lawn in the middle or to one side, whether you want straight borders or curved ones.

You need to work out where you might plant your veg - that's when it helps to know where North is, because it would be best if you could plant your veg so that they're protected from North winds and facing the sunnier South. (It looks from your pictures as if South might be to the left of the side wall, because there's a longish shadow which will make that side of the garden a bit colder than the right hand side.)

Once you've got your plan you might want to move some of the lawn - which you could use to fill in borders that are in the wrong place, and which would smother weeds at the same time.

You might decide you need some paving, or somewhere not grassy where you can put a chair and table - and you could use that to dump any stones you dig up from your veg area.

It sounds a lot to think about all at once, but an hour or so planning (and, looking at aerial views) could save your hours and hours later, especially if you find you've put something in the wrong place.

And yes, cheap weed fabric isn't a lot of good, and it's flimsy. Same with cheap white fleece - our carrots managed burst through some whilst we were on holiday