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Best chicken jokes?

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  • #16
    what can I say?
    Bernie aka DDL

    Appreciate the little things in life because one day you will realise they are the big things

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    • #17
      " Bok, Bok, Bok, Boooooook, Bok,Bok, Bok, Booooook"....sound familiar...Chicken laying an egg
      Well, if you can't beat em....

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      • #18
        Originally posted by ginger ninger View Post
        " Bok, Bok, Bok, Boooooook, Bok,Bok, Bok, Booooook"....sound familiar...Chicken laying an egg
        Well, if you can't beat em....
        WHAT you laying eggs now too?
        Never test the depth of the water with both feet

        The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory....

        Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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        • #19
          Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Pit Bull?

          A: Just the Pit Bull.

          (There's more out there, much more!!!!)
          A good beginning is half the work.
          Praise the young and they will make progress.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Smoggy67 View Post
            Chinese waiter is called over and the customer complains..
            "This chicken is rubbery" !

            Thank you says the waiter, i will pass your compliment onto the chef...
            Best yet! But it took me a while ... !!
            The Hen House

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            • #21
              *Wonders how the 'Worst chicken jokes' would read*
              If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess

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              • #22
                I think this is it..ECO!!

                Not exactly busting my sides here..lol
                When all the world is moving too fast, sit in the garden and watch it whizz past... The good life..

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                • #23
                  oh no - this thread must survive.. come on you lot..lol
                  When all the world is moving too fast, sit in the garden and watch it whizz past... The good life..

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                  • #24
                    Aww I do hope it thrives Smoggy.

                    I have actually belly laughed at a couple and spluttered at several
                    If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing to excess

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                    • #25
                      OK then...

                      Q. Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
                      A. Because she had mislaid them!
                      "Nicos, Queen of Gooooogle" and... GYO's own Miss Marple

                      Location....Normandy France

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                      • #26
                        I freely admit this is stolen and yes its duck rather than chicken but I'm not the only duck nut on here so hopefully it will be allowed....

                        A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

                        After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

                        The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?
                        "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.
                        "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

                        The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever..

                        As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

                        A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

                        The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

                        The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

                        The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.

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                        • #27
                          Q: Why did the police arrest the rooster?

                          A: They suspected it of fowl play

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                          • #28
                            And another duck one....

                            A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

                            Barman says: "No."

                            Duck says: "Got any bread?"

                            Barman says: "No."

                            Duck says: "Got any bread?"

                            Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

                            Duck says: "Got any bread?"

                            Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

                            Duck says: "Got any bread?"

                            Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

                            Duck says: "Got any nails?"

                            Barman says: "No"

                            .
                            .
                            .
                            .

                            Duck says: "Got any bread?

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                            • #29
                              And finally (for today anyway).....

                              There was once a parrot who knew a bunch of swear words. The owner said to the parrot: "If you don't stop swearing I'm going to put you in the freezer." The parrot started swearing again and the owner put him in the freezer, but after several seconds he suddenly stopped. The guy says "Will you stop swearing now?" and the parrot says "I'll stop, but first I want to know what the chicken did."

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                              • #30
                                Lol Corax, nice gigglers - however bit concerned your turning my chicken joke coop into an avery..lol

                                Just kidding, loved the lab report..
                                When all the world is moving too fast, sit in the garden and watch it whizz past... The good life..

                                Comment

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