Best chicken jokes?

[Smoggy67]

Try this...


A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit p***ed off.


The egg mutters to no one in particular . . .

"Well, I guess we answered THAT question !!! "

[Smoggy67]

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play
together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched
and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with
the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

[Eco-Chic]

They're getting better Smoggy I just spit tea all over the lappy

[MaureenHall]

So did I

[ginger ninger]

How do you stop a rooster from crowing on a sunday morning?
Eat him on saturday afternoon.

[ginger ninger]

George W Bush:-
Quote..The chicken crossed onto our side of the road, this was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we feel we were justified in dropping 50 ton of nerve gas on it..

[ginger ninger]

Martin Luther King:-
Quote..I can envision a world where all chickens are free to cross the road without fear and there motives called into question...

[ginger ninger]

Ronald Reagan:-
What chicken?

[ginger ninger]

Captain Kirk:-
To boldly go where no other chicken has gone before?

[ginger ninger]

Bill Clinton:-
I did not cross the road with that chicken, I did not have relations with that chicken, that chicken is lying..

[CoraxAurata]

......

The moral of the story?

When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

;;;;Spluuter;;;;;;
ROTFLMAO!

[rogesse]

The moral of the story......thanks I've just had my keyboard fixed - it' didn't need another glass of wine

Hillarious - I printed it out and gave it to the boys watching footie in the lounge next door so the TV got liberally sprayed with beer as well!

[Glutton4...]

Stop!

Please stop!

[ginger ninger]

A man goes to the cinema window with a chicken under his arm and asks for 2 tickets to see the movie, the lady asks who the other person is who he's taking, he replies "my pet chicken of course". The lady tells him he CAN'T take the chicken into the cinema, so he goes round the corner, stuffs the chicken down his trousers, walks up to the lady again and buys 1 ticket to see the film.
Inside the cinema the chicken starts to get hot & begins to squirm about, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it's head out, get some air and watch the film. Sitting next to him is Agnes, she elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers " This man at the side of me has unzipped his trousers and his c--k is sticking out", at this Myrtle replies " Look, when you've seen one, you've seen them all" Agnes Say's "I know...but this one is eating my bloody popcorn"

[lettucegrow!]

You're all mad!! Keep it up!!