Best chicken jokes?

[Glutton4...]

Yup - Steve's in - the tone just went down!

[Eco-Chic]

Well, I've been giggling my head off for five minutes. Cheers RedThorn

[Hilary B]

RT, I've heard most of them before, but who cares, they are still funny!
BTW, did I spot some Far Side in there?

[Smoggy67]

Thats more like it <wink wink> lol
Cheers Redthorn..

[RedThorn]

Yup - Steve's in - the tone just went down!

Yup Yup I'm Back!

[allotmentlady]

well RT i have just spent the last 20 mins cackling, now you know what it sounds like u can imagine lol.....eeeee they are funny lol......tears rolling down my eyes lol

[phil the shed]

i sent my dinner back in the restaurant last night.........


the manager apologised for the poultry portion!!!!!!

[sweetiepea]

A waiter asks a man, May I take your order, sir?

Yes, the man replies. I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?

Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.

[sweetiepea]

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks.
So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster named Chuck. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”
Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, “Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said, with a chuckle.
Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese.
By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught—worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob—stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.”
Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “Shhhh, they’re getting closer.....”

[beulah59]

THAT made me laugh out loud!!

[Smoggy67]

Love that one pea... classic... lmao

[Eco-Chic]

I'm cackling like a good 'un

I think that one and the horse/bmw are my favourites.

[snakeshack]

famer goes to the bank and asks for a million pound loan for a project to breed six legged four winged chickens.
the bank manager is sceptical until the farmar produces a cat carrier with a trio of the birds .
the bank manager says...."ok but why?
the farmer points out that the restaraunt trade can get more prtions from the G.M chickens and that profit forecasts are good as all the customers ask for a leg or a wing.
the bank manager thinks he can see a good invastment and approves the loan saying pay back must start after 6 months.
Six months go bye and no money comes in to the bank.......
the bank manager gets worried,his job's on the lie sohe pays a visit to the farmer.


he drives down the long private road through fields full of six legged chickens and up to the farmhouse.
He rings the bell ,feeling slightly less worried,the breeding program has obviously paid off!
The farmer opens the door and says "Oh its you"
the bank manager says "I see the breeding program is going well ,are you having trouble getting orders?"
the farmer replies "No we have had orders for 50,000 chickens this week"
the bank manager replies "so whats the problem"
AND the farmer says................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................"can't catch the damn things"

[lettucegrow!]

Love it,snakeshack !!

[Irie Jan]

couple of pics for you... *gets coat...*

LOL love this RT! Funny Pics some of these jokes on here are brill!

Keep it up folks I just wish I could join in the chicken raising fun!

LOts of love all (((((((((((((HUGGS ))))))))))))) and more (((((((((((HUGGS)))))) xx